Page 90 of Devotion

After a quick shower, she collapses into bed. After I had to repeatedly assure her that I would sleep in the living room to keep an eye on Fyo in case he wakes up. Stubborn woman.

I love it.

Lying on the couch, a fire crackling to my right, I stare at the ceiling for a long time before sleep takes me. Despite the stress, the lack of sleep…

I’m frayed. Wired.

And somehow…inspired.

Holding Fyodor’s hand while she dug those bullets out, the fucker didn’t flinch. Not once.

I’ve always just joked my way through things, but these two…they face it head-on.

Just like Aless always did.

Just like I always dreamed I would someday. Instead of faking it until I make it.

I guess our lives define us. And mine wasn’t nearly as hard as theirs. Until recently, anyway.

We were rich. We partied, drank. Girls, movies, TV, upscale, rich New York living.

And I took every second of it for granted.

Now, looking up at the ceiling of an old, simple cottage somewhere in Russia…

I don’t miss it.

Okay, maybe alittle.

The thrill of a night out, music, booze.

But getting by with nothing but the gun in my hand and the clothes on my back with the girl of my dreams at my side? What else could I want?

Good God, I’m a fucking delusional sap. And I’m probably still smiling like an idiot when I finally doze off.

I smell the coffee machine brewing. Open my eyes. Despite the general lack of rest, I feel pretty good. Rising to check on Fyodor, I nearly jump out of my skin to find him up and around the kitchen.

“Uh. You know you almost died.”

“Yes. And?”

“You look like shit.”

“Not all of us are pretty boys.” Fyo leans over the sink, his shoulders rising and falling with deep breaths. “How many?”

I hesitate, leaning against the counter. “Too many. But we took out a lot of their guys.”

“Pyotr? Matvey?” His voice is gravel.

“Vanya should be the one to?—”

“I did not ask Vanya. I ask you, brother.”

His tone is pure hate, but it’s the first time he has ever come close to acknowledging me as one of them.

“We think Pyotr was taken. Matvey…”

“Mat is dead,” Vanya’s harsh words ring out through the living area.

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