Page 81 of Little Nightmare

How fucking normal.

He rescued dogs.

His parents were both surgeons.

But the worst part—he was safe.

There was a difference between being safe and keeping someone safe. Where I was a shield—he was a space.

I felt numb when she walked back to me, all smiles. “Ready?”

“Yeah.” I couldn’t look at her; instead, I listened as she explained her project for Business Finance and all the ideas she had. She talked the entire way, she sounded happy, she sounded as normal as douche face appeared on paper.

Maybe that was what I’d been missing in this entire scenario. “Can I ask you a question?”

I hadn’t meant to interrupt.

“What? Sure.” She followed me into the house and put her bag on the couch. “What’s up?”

“Was he normal? Or as normal as possible given the circumstances? Louis?” I hated saying his name.

Her face didn’t fall though; she simply tilted her head. “Yeah, I think at first I even called him boring. He was the sort of guy that never snuck out of the house, followed all the rules, andthen when you least expected it, he’d do something sweet or out of the blue. But I realized it was always a way to distract me from it all.”

“Life?”

She nodded. “The pressure but mainly the loneliness…everyone has their part to play and other than getting my degrees I’ve never really found where I fit in, you know? I’m rebellious but not insane like Serena. I can be sweet when I want to like Bella, but I’m not a mafia princess.”

She was right about that. She was a queen.

“I just, I don’t know, I think in such a large family it’s easy to get overlooked, it’s easy for people to see you but not really see you. They assume your smile means you’re okay or your presence means your present when it can be the exact opposite. Imposter syndrome, even next to blood relatives, is a very real thing, and not fitting in if you’re not careful—is heavy—like shame, like you were born with a task that you can’t accomplish because it isn’t clear yet.”

That was probably the most open she’d been with me in a really long time. “And now, now do you feel like you can be yourself or be normal?”

She smiled. “Nothing about this is normal, Ace. We take it a day at a time, right?”

“Right,” I whispered.

Something flickered in her eyes. “Let me go change real quick, then maybe we can take a walk.” She pulled out her phone and set it down on the coffee table. “I have something to talk to you about.”

Was it about him?

About the normal?

About finally being happy—outside of us?

I hadn’t just lost control, I’d lost complete navigation of the ship. She ran up the stairs while I stood completely frozen in place.

Was this where you did the hard thing? Was this where you didn’t just walk away but you gave yourself and them permission to let go? I thought about Lily. She’d always have me. I’d always be her dad no matter what.

Raven deserved love.

She deserved to be seen.

I’d just take it to my grave that all I’d ever truly seen—was her.

I wasn’t sure how much time went by, but she was suddenly back downstairs, hair pulled back into a ponytail, a black sweatshirt on and a pair of white athletic shorts; she was in her normal walking attire.

Keyword,normal.

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