Page 96 of Dance of Madness

An angry, sharp feeling surges inside me. Not directed at her, or the completely innocuous word she said that set me right the fuck off the other day.

No. It's because she’s notwith meright now.

It’s not the first time I’ve felt it. It’s been creeping in there ever since that first night when she walked into Greymoor not having acluewhat was waiting for her.

The annoying reality is, IlikeMilena being around.

A lot.

I like the way her presence makes my blood roar a little louder. The way her scent curls in my senses, hair, and skin and just fuckingstaysthere, haunting me.

The flicker in her eyes that takes me far, far away from the pain, the darkness, and the demons prowling inside me.

I liketalkingto her, and I don’t really like talking to most people. That says a lot.

And yet, I walked away the other day. I didn’t look back, didn’t call, didn’t text.

…Mostly because I’m a fucking idiot with issues.

That’s the annoying part: I can sit here stewing and moping as if she’s the one who leftmein that bedroom all I like, but it was me who walked away from her.

I scowl into my Fernet, tuning Aldo and Dom completely out as they start to bicker about what would actually happen if Gabby were to marry Leo.

I walked away from her.

A lot of that—okay, most of that—is because of my fucking issues with intimacy. With sex, specifically. It’s why I chase, but release as soon as I catch. Why I humor the girls at the Black Court when they giggle and ask me to show them what’s inside the labyrinth.

Surprise! It’smeand my trailer full of hangups.

Sex is a line I don’t cross, though. I don’t think anyone realizes that, not even those closest to me in the Court.

I haven’t allowed myself to go there—sex, that is—in quite a while. Not sincethatnight.

And then Milena happened.

When she slipped into my world it pushed away the confusion, at least for a while. Until she called me “troublemaker”.

She couldn’t possibly know that word had such razor-sharp edges for me. But hearing it, taken together with the sex and the tangled bodies and limbs, shook something loose inside me that I’ve workedveryhard to keep locked down for years.

Hence, my fucking walk-out.

“No, you listen tome, Aldo,” Dom snarls, standing abruptly. “I’ll humor your fucking hypotheticalsto a fucking point.But thereisn’ta reality where Gabriella gets married off to that fuck-head?—”

“We get the idea, Dom,” I growl quietly, raising a hand.

He glares once more at Aldo, then exhales.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “I got…”

“Passionate,” Aldo nods with a smile. He reaches over and pats Dom on the shoulder. “We are on the same page, my friend, and the sameteam.”

Dom nods, still looking pissed.

Passionate indeed.

“I think we’re done here for today,” I grunt, glancing at the time. Honestly, all of this was just to get Aldo’s take on the situation.

But also, I have someplace to be.

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