Page 94 of The Fire We Crave

I tap the end of her nose. “I can. And I did. Now that I know you like them, we’ll use them. Now. Sliding. Doors.”

“It’s from a movie, but the whole premise is that your life can take two different paths based on an inconsequential moment. In the movie, it was whether she made it onto the Tube, a subway train system in London, or not. How something that small could matter. In my case, I wonder what would have happened if I’d said yes. Like, what if it had meant we ran late to have dinner, which meant the lights in the house were on later, which means someone standing outside watching might have gotten bored and left?”

I shake my head. “But you can’t think like that. Because who knows how long the person would have waited? Or maybe they’d come back the day after when you and Melody were home alone and taken both of you. You can’t second-guess”—Quinn raises an eyebrow—“what would have happened if…” My words trail off. “Smart-ass.”

“Sometimes there’s no reason, Smoke. Shitty things happen. And it’s interesting to me that you can see my situation as different to your own, such that you can empathize with me, but not with yourself.”

I put my palm to her cheek and lower her back against me. I need the pressure of her, the warmth of her, resting there. “You were a thirteen-year-old child. I was a grown-ass man.”

“Age is irrelevant. It might help to talk to someone who really knows how to deal with things like this. You need to do what you have to do to make peace with it, Ro.”

Ro.

Who knew the absence of three letters would feel so special?

“There’s a number in this letter. I’ll call it. And I’m going to try harder to give myself some grace, I promise. Maybe it’s worth acknowledging that I did my best, as opposed to celebrating,that. You wanna go put on a pretty dress and come out for dinner with me?”

Quinn grins. “Yes, I would love to.”

I help her to her feet. “Then go get ready. You’ve got one hour.”

“You know, a girl could fall really hard for you,” she says with a smile. But she’s gone before I respond.

With a smile on my face and an easing in my chest, I pick up the letter and read through it again. And I study it in detail. Then, I open the messages from my friend and boss, Michael Goodall.

Me:Sorry I’ve been MIA. It was a lot. The report helps. Thanks for standing by me.

Michael:Can I expect that call anytime soon?

Me:Tomorrow.

Michael:Good. Don’t make me hunt you down. I was one step away from getting on a plane to come see you.

Me:On my word.

I shower, then read the letter a third time. When I’ve done that, I see if I can figure out why the water pressure in the kitchen tap seems low and then oil the hinge on the pantry door.

But all the time killing is worth it when Quinn walks into the kitchen looking like a million bucks in a pretty and soft denim dress. “My nicest things are still above the bakery. I just brought what I needed for work.” She looks at the food mixer and dishes, and wooden blocks, a China platter. “Every time I came back, it felt like baking things took the majority of my trunk space.”

After skirting the kitchen island, I hold the back of her neck and kiss her. “First, you look beautiful. It’s less about the clothes and more about you in them. Although, I do like the access you give me.” I roll the hem of her skirt up and slide my hands down her panties over her ass. “And two, we can bring some more of your things over to my place, so you have everything you need.”

“Like, move in?” she asks.

I kiss her, perhaps to chase away the tiny pinprick of fear I feel at the uncertainty in her tone. “Is that too fast?”

“Not for you and me, no. But I think I need to try being back in the bakery by myself. Just to prove to myself I’m not scared anymore.”

I let out a breath. “That makes sense. But we’re gonna get you even better security than we already had installed, different locks, make it like Fort Knox. And I’m going to get you a gun, and I’m going to make a temporary range out back so I can teach you.”

Quinn smiles. “Okay.”

“And you’re going to let me track where you are when you’re there. Not because I want to spy on you, but because I want to know where you are if anything happens.”

“Okay.”

Fuck, her smile is going to be the death of me.

“And we’re going to go over various exit and extraction plans, so if?—”

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