Page 186 of When Hearts Remember

When you slipped into a coma a decade ago, teetering on the edge of the living and the dead, my soul died.

I’d never felt such excruciating pain before—a cocktail of regret, guilt, sadness, and loss so deep, so unfathomable, I questioned my will to live.

But I told myself I had to, because you needed me. Because I needed to give you strength, so one day you’d wake up and find me at your side.

Then one month became two, then three, then it became one year, two years, and more. My heart hardened.

I became bitter, a cold shell of my former self.

But I needed to stay strong for you. Because you were still sleeping.

I told myself I’d pay any price to have you wake up and look at me with those beautiful blue eyes of yours. Even if the price was your memories.

And you did wake up. A miracle, and against all odds, you fell in love with me again.

While I grieved losing the past Alexis, all the beautiful memories only I remembered, I celebrated the fact I get to love the present Alexis—beautiful, enthralling, as intoxicating as ever—and I could create more memories with you.

Maybe eventually, my heart wouldn’t be riddled with pain. I wouldn’t feel thosescars.

But then, this happened.

You almost died saving me. I almost lost you again.

The thought suffocates me. The idea of you, your vibrancy and spark, your zest for life being snuffed out.

It terrifies me to the core.

And I realize how messed up I am. How fear has me tightly in its grasp. Unrelenting.

Lexy, I’ve loved you for over a decade, but for you, you’ve only loved me for a few months.

I can’t help but wonder, don’t you deserve someone without all these scars, fears, and wounds? Don’t you deserve someone to love you without being afraid?

I don’t know what I’m trying to say, but I need to get my thoughts out. I know this is the fear talking.

I guess I’m telling you this—I need time. Time to process everything. I need to fix myself, to be a man worthy of your love.

Love,

Ethan

I promptly burst into tears. I can’t believe him. Even after everything we’ve gone through, doesn’t he know we’re better as a team? That he doesn’t have to navigate this alone? “Stupid, stupid man. He can fix himself with me next to him.”

Taylor sits on my bed and pulls me into a hug. “Menarestupid. If it weren’t for the fact we need them to reproduce, they would’ve gone extinct years ago.”

“He’ll come to his senses,” Olivia murmurs. “He loves you too much. He went through hell in the last decade. The accident took a lot out of him. Give him grace, Lexy. He’s not thinking straight.”

The other girls nod.

“I know. I don’t blame him. Heck, if I were him, I wouldn’t be thinking clearly either,” I mumble into Taylor’s shoulder.

Olivia’s words echo inside me. The things we’ve gone through the last decade.

The accident. The memories.What happened to Taylor.

I gasp, pulling away, and stare at the familiar gray eyes of my best friend.

“Girls, can I talk to Taylor alone, please?”

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