Page 88 of When Hearts Remember

A fresh wave of sadness hits me. We feel different now.

Snapping my fingers, I bury those useless thoughts. No one tells you about the grief you’ll endure when you wake up from a coma—and the guilt you’ll feel about the grief.

The world as I knew it is gone.

And I never got to say goodbye.

Shrugging, I put on a brave face. “So, what’s been going on with you? You go by Sandra now? And you havekids?”

She gives me a tired smile. “Yeah. Two boys and a girl. A whole white picket fence and a dog too. Adam and I met in grad school and I guess…with the right guy, kids made sense, you know? It’s chaos, but I wouldn’t give it up for anything. As for Sandra…Summer didn’t cut it when you run in the rich circles. Sandra is more distinguished. Got to grow up sometime.”

My chest pinches. She used to be the one who said kids were not for her and couldn’t imagine settling down.

I was the one who dreamed of finding my purpose, my man, getting married by thirty, then two kids by thirty-five.

Sandra must have seen something on my face because she leans in and gently squeezes my arm. “You’ll get there too. I’ll have to live vicariously through you. You get to be free and enjoy your twenties, right?”

I flinch and she chuckles awkwardly, as if noticing her horrible choice of words.

Straining a grin, I reply, “Damn right. Going to party it up. Second chance at life—who knows where the wind will take me?”

She flushes and eyes her cubicle. “You haven’t changed one bit—still the same free-spirited Lexy.”

We’ve both changed. It’s so clear but we don’t say that to each other.

She winks and smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Come to me for anything. I’ll leave you be.”

After she disappears back to her side, I release a crestfallen sigh and tuck in a few strands of hair that have fallen out of my low bun. It’s still damp from my weekly attempt at swimming in my apartment pool.

No dice this time. I couldn’t swim without my floaties.

You know the technique—your instructor said so. You just need to get out of your head, Lexy.

But fear still grips me whenever I try—my mind seizes and suddenly, I’m hit with a barrage of still images—dark waters, loud roars, screams.

Then my head would hurt again.

But I’m not giving up. I’m going to get over this phobia if it’s the last thing I do.

My cell phone buzzes and I pick it up.

A text message and a new email.

Taylor

Kick some ass, girlfriend. And tell Rex I’ll kill him if he doesn’t treat you well.

I smirk and reply.

Alexis

I’ll whoop his ass myself. Don’t worry…and thanks.

Swiping to my emails, my heart flips at a new message from Polaris.

To:[email protected]

From:[email protected]

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