Page 36 of Bite Your Tongue

“I’m not usually this guy,” I say, giving her a slight shrug. “Consider yourself lucky, Sail-On.”

“My name is spelled differently, so you can’t keep calling me that; it makes zero sense,” she deadpans. “And it’s incredibly annoying.”

“Why do you think I do it?” I smirk before throwing an arm around her. “Let’s get out of here. It’s Christmas Eve.”

She cranes her neck and looks up at me, straight into my eyes, and my soul fucking feels her everywhere. I’m trying to play it cool, like I’m here just as a friend and that I didn’t fuck my hand, imagining her sucking my cock, next to a Christmas tree last night, but the truth is, I want her so badly right now that my head is spinning.

As we head toward her car, I keep my arm around her in a playful manner. But really, I just want her to be close to me.

I’ve never given a fuck about holidays, but this year, I just couldn’t stand the thought of a chick I’d hooked up with a few times being alone.

What the fuck is she doing to me?

“All right, I’m officially impressed,” I say, gawking openly at the stunner beside me as she skates effortlessly across the ice. “For some reason, I figured you’d be falling down, and I’d get to scoop you up, maybe give you an ass squeeze in the process.” I wave my hand toward her. “But here you are, lookin’ like a pro.”

Who would have known a place like South Carolina would have an outdoor skating rink? Not this guy, but I’m glad they do because Saylor seems to be genuinely enjoying herself.

After I picked her up at the hospital, she wanted to go home and change out of her scrubs, but in record time, she was ready to go and continue our night. I looked up things to do in the area for Christmas, and this place showed up.

Surrounding the rink are brightly lit Christmas trees with music playing over the sound system.

If a Hallmark movie was what I was going for, I definitely nailed it.

“What’d you expect, lover boy?” She smiles. “I grew up with Smith, also known as the favorite child. We spent most Saturdays at the arena as kids, so I figured I might as well learn to skate.”

Her words are meant to be light, and it’s clear she doesn’t mean anything by them other than to point out to me why she’s good at ice skating, but I still feel bad after she says them because she said Smith was the favorite child. I’m sure it’s often easy for her to feel that way when he’s a professional hockey star. But she’s anurse.That’s something to be proud of. She helps to save lives daily. I mean, she’s working Christmas Day, for Christ’s sake.

“I doubt Smith is the favorite,” I say, eyeing her over.

Her legs might not be all that long, but she somehow keeps up with me on the ice. She laughs lightly, shaking her head.

“My brother is a professional athlete who spends a lot of weekends passing out doughnuts to the homeless,” she says matter-of-factly. “Of course he’s the favorite.”

“And you’re spending Christmas Eve and Christmas Day working at the hospital, taking care of patients so that your coworkers can stay home with their children,” I deadpan. “To me, that’s a pretty big reason to be the favorite.”

“I love my job, so working holidays isn’t so bad.” The words float from her pretty lips so candidly, and I know she means every one of them.

“I don’t know how you do it though.” I skate into the center, and we circle around, sharing glances. “Ill people? Some dying?” My stomach churns. “Sick kids?”

I think back to when my dad had a heart attack, feeling the fear I felt that day creep into my veins. I thought for sure he wasn’t going to wake up. The doctors didn’t seem convinced he would either. The sounds, smells, and even the brightness of the lights are etched into my brain. Yet here’s Saylor, who seems to find peace within hospital walls.

“Yeah, all of that is awful,” she says, agreeing with me. “But do you know what makes it worth it? Watching some get better and knowing I played a small part in making it happen. Or being a patient’s comfort and understanding that just my presence made their time easier.” She smiles sadly, her eyes drifting off into thought. “Even holding the hand of someone while they take their last breath is something I will never take for granted. As tragic and heartbreaking as it is, I’ve had the honor of being somebody’s person. The one who helps them transition to a place where they aren’t in pain.” Her eyes grow misty, and I almost can’t believe it because she’s never been this deep withme—or anyone, from what I’ve seen. “Sounds weird, I know, but … I feel like being a nurse is my purpose.”

It’s like this moment is too raw or too much for her. Within seconds, she shakes her head subtly and plasters on a grin before driving her finger into my side. “Race you around the ice!”

She takes off, and I chase after her. I realize right then that I’d probably chase that girl anywhere. And even I don’t understand why yet.

Ilet the water run over my body, easing my aching shoulders—a token of today’s shift. Even as I stand here, alone, I can’t wipe the smile off my face.

Today might have just been another day at work, but tonight was sort of incredible. All because Ryder made it that way. He took me to an ice rink, and we went skating, and if that wasn’t sweet enough, we walked around Charleston, sipping hot chocolate and looking at the Christmas lights while holiday music flowed through the air. I felt like I was in a cheesy Hallmark movie, and yet I didn’t want to turn off the television because I was having too much fun.

For a Christmas Eve that was supposed to be lonely, it ended up being one of my favorites yet. If this were another time—a time before I suffered ultimate betrayal from a man I’d thought I could trust—I would be diving in headfirst, not even thinking about the consequences; let’s face it—before everything happened with Rowan, that’s how I went about life. But that was before, and now, I want to be smarter. More guarded.

I also made a promise to myself that before I ever found Mr. Right and settled down, I would cross off every to-do I had written on a list. The things consist of everything I’ve dreamed of doing, but not gotten the chance. Even as a single woman, school and then work have packed my days so full that there’s just never enough time. I’m going to make time though. And I’ll do it before I promise forever to a man.

Running my hands through my hair, I make sure there’s no more conditioner left in it before turning the water off. To be honest, my insides were throbbing to invite Ryder into the shower with me. He’s been so sweet tonight, and even him coming to Charleston was such a kind gesture, but I know that’s not what I need to be doing. And by that, I mean … I don’t need to be doing Ryder Cambridge.

Even if I want to.

---