Page 32 of The Secrets We Built Together

Relief flooded through me, but then everything she'd said echoed through my head, and I could already see that I was losing. The requirements, the expectations, the stability they were looking for—I was coming up short in almost every category.

Amelia grabbed a fistful of my hair and looked into my eyes as she smiled and squealed. Was I being selfish? Was I so caught up in the things that I wanted that I couldn't see what was best for her? But I honestly didn't think that was it. I didn't want Amelia in my life to prove a point. I wanted her there so she didn't ever find herself in the same place I was. So I could show her she was loved by someone in our family so much that I had fought to keep her with me. Because shemattered.

When I looked back at Susan, I could see the sympathy on her face, and I knew exactly what it meant. This wasn't going to go my way.

Susan cleared her throat awkwardly and pulled out her papers. "I need to go through some information with you. The sheriffalready gave me a lot of it, but I just need to confirm all your information and get some more details from you."

Something about that annoyed me. Like he was trying to pave an easier road to the end rather than support me to try and do the impossible.

Unlike Xander who had immediately tried to find a solution, even at a cost to himself. He saw my pain and wanted to help. And I'd given him every excuse not to.

I felt bad about poking fun at him now, even if I did still think he'd make an incredible life model. With that body...

I blushed, realizing this wasn't the time to be fantasizing about Xander. And that's when I realized that I not only needed his help but I wanted to have his presence too. I hadn't stopped thinking about him for days. His strong steady gaze that felt like a warm embrace whenever it looked my way. That calming nature that made me feel like everything could actually be okay.

"I'm engaged," I blurted out.

My heart stopped the moment the words left my mouth. What had I just done?

Susan frowned, shuffling through her papers. "The sheriff didn't mention that."

Oh god. I couldn't breathe. My palms started sweating as I held Amelia closer, like a shield. I hadn't even decided if I was going to take Xander's offer, and now I'd just announced it to a government official. As if lying to DCFS wasn't a criminal offense. As if this couldn't make everything a thousand times worse if—when—they found out.

"Erm, yeah, we were keeping it quiet for a little while," I stammered, the lie spilling out before I could stop it. "You know how small towns can be, and there's some history between the sheriff and me. I was trying to find a way to break it to him gently, and then this little one came bursting into my life."

I forced a smile that felt brittle enough to shatter my face. My heartbeat pounded in my ears so loudly I could barely hear Susan's response.

Amelia giggled as if on cue, and Susan smiled at her, reaching out to take Amelia's tiny hand in hers. "I can understand that. I’m from a small town myself, trust me, I definitely understand that." She frowned at the papers in front of her and then seemed to make a decision. "Let's start these afresh in case anything else is wrong. And I have a packet of forms that you can both fill out before my next visit, which I’ll schedule with you soon."

The room spun slightly. What had I just committed to? What if Xander had changed his mind? What if he'd already realized what a terrible idea this was? What if Susan called the sheriff right now to verify? I'd be caught in a lie before I even had a chance to make it real.

But there was no going back. I'd crossed a line, and now I had to follow through or risk losing Amelia forever. My mouth had gone dry, and I could feel sweat trickling down my back as I nodded and tried to look like a person who hadn't just potentially committed fraud.

There was no turning back now. I'd have to call Xander the moment Susan left and pray that he hadn't come to his senses. Because if he had, I'd just made everything exponentially worse.

Chapter 13

Xander

Ichecked my phone again and then shoved it back in my pocket with a frustrated sigh. I thought I'd have heard from Blake by now. It had been almost twenty-four hours since I'd left the house with my ridiculous proposal hanging in the air between us.

What if she said no? The thought made my stomach knot in a way that confused me.

Why did it matter so much to me?

It was just a solution to a problem. A way to help her keep Amelia. Nothing more. A business transaction, basically. One that brought her into my home, into my life, right where... I wanted her to be.

And that was the most confusing thought of all.

I paced the length of the office in Booker's house, trying to focus on the paperwork I'd brought with me. I’d escaped the clinic office because Marianne’s constant chirpiness was driving me crazy. The clinic plans were moving forward faster thanwe'd anticipated, but there were still a thousand details to sort through. Permits, equipment orders, staffing—all of it needing my attention yesterday. The projected timeline we'd initially set had already been compressed by a month due to unexpected interest from potential clients. Yet instead of focusing on any of these pressing concerns, I was checking my phone every thirty seconds like a teenager.

"What are you pacing around so much for?"

I looked up to see Booker leaning against the doorframe, his casted arm propped carefully against his chest, an amused smirk on his face.

"What?" I asked, realizing belatedly that I'd been wearing a path in his hardwood floor.

Booker's smirk widened into a full grin. "Damn, you do not want to know what I owe Reece for getting this one right."

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