Page 5 of The Secrets We Built Together

"Told him we weren't interested." Booker kicked at a clump of freshly tilled soil. "Said we wanted to build something on our own for once. Something that wasn't bought with his money or influence, but something we earned on our own."

I leaned against the truck's warm hood. "How'd he take that?"

"Better than I expected. Said he respected it but the offer stands if we change our minds. He was surprisingly reasonable about it." Booker looked me straight in the eye. "I want this to be ours, Xander. Something we built—all of us, you included. Without Dad's money."

Last night's nightmare flashed through my mind—the same one I'd had a dozen times since getting sober. A patient coding on the table, blood everywhere, and me frozen, unable to remember the most basic procedures. People shouting for me to do something, anything, while I stood paralyzed, knowing a life was slipping away because of my inadequacy. My subconsciouswasn't exactly subtle with its metaphors. I couldn’t let this project my brother was passionate about be the next thing in my long line of failures.

"I've got an architect drawing up some plans," I said, changing the subject. "I was thinking about something like the cottage. Two bedrooms. Just something small."

"Absolutely not." Booker walked around to the driver's door and climbed in the truck as I watched him in confusion.

"What do you meanabsolutely not?" I asked as I pulled open the door and climbed in as well.

"You don't need some tiny cottage to hide away in. You're moving here because you want to. Not because you don't have any choice. Hell, this is probably the first time in your life that you've ever truly been free. No one’s pulling your strings anymore. You could go anywhere, Xander. Doanything. But if you're choosing to come here and build a life in Willowbrook, then you need a house that you can do that in."

I stared at my brother. This was possibly the most he'd ever really said to me in one go for years. We should fix that.

"You need a house you could build a family in," he explained when I continued to stare.

"What? No! Look, what you and Reece have is amazing. But that's not for me. I've got too much going on. I'm not going to put that on someone else."

Booker rolled his eyes and my mouth dropped open in shock.

Who was the man sitting next to me and where the hell had my brother gone?

“I think you’ve been body swapped with a teenage girl because I swear to god I just saw you roll your eyes,” I joked.

He chuckled softly, shaking his head then put the truck into gear and pulled around, heading back to the ranch house. At first I didn't think he was going to say anything else and I turnedmy head to stare out the window as we bumped along the rough track that ran between the pastures.

It was beautiful out here. It might even be exactly what I needed. Somewhere peaceful to figure myself out. A quiet refuge where I could work on my problems.

A family was the last thing I needed.

I was nearly one year sober, about to start a new medical practice and relocating to a town where all the ghosts of my past resided.

That was more than enough for anyone to deal with.

My sobriety had to come first, and the drama of a relationship and everything that came with it was the last thing I needed.

One breath, one moment, one day. The mantra I'd learned in recovery played in my head like a lifeline.

"Don't give up on yourself," Booker said quietly as he pulled the truck back onto the driveway that led to his house, and the cottage I’d taken over that sat beside it. "There's nothing wrong with being happy, brother."

Chapter 3

Blake

As I rode my bicycle back towards the farm, I gave myself a stern talking to.

This was not where my story ended.

I had a show. Someone was taking a chance on me and I goddamned deserved it.

All I needed to do was pull my head out of my ass and create twelve to eighteen incredible original pieces of art.

"Fuuuuuck! Why, Toby? Why am I so stuck with this? Do you think there's something wrong with me?"

I looked down at the empty basket, and for the first time since I'd dreamed him up, I felt sad.

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