Page 37 of The Secrets We Built Together

A wave of relief washed over me. They were with us. They understood.

Delaney came over and wrapped her arms around me. "Just promise me that when you actually do fall in love with him, I'll be the first to know," she whispered in my ear.

"That's not going to—" I started to protest, but she just patted my cheek condescendingly.

"Sure, honey. Whatever you say."

As everyone moved toward the backyard to start the cookout, Xander's hand found mine again, giving it a quick, reassuring squeeze before letting go. That small touch sent another jolt through me, one I couldn't ignore.

This was going to be a lot more complicated than I'd imagined.

Chapter 15

Blake

Isat in Delaney's car outside Xander's cottage, drumming my fingers nervously on the steering wheel. The spring rain that had started during our loading session had finally let up, leaving everything with that fresh, earthy scent that usually comforted me. Today, it just made the cottage's garden look slick and uninviting.

Xander should be here any minute with the majority of my stuff in his truck. After we finished eating, everyone had pitched in to help pack my things and get them loaded into the back of Delaney's car and Xander's truck. We'd have another DCFS visit at some point, and I needed to get Amelia and myself settled at Xander's before that happened.

Now I was sitting in front of the house that Xander was staying in, wondering if I was allowed to just walk inside. It felt wrong when he wasn't here.

I glanced over at Amelia, securely fastened in her car seat and, miraculously, still sleeping despite all the commotion of the day.Then I looked at the pile of boxes and bags crammed into every available space in Delaney's SUV. I hadn't realized I’d brought quite so much stuff out of storage, and that didn't even include most of my art materials because they were at the studio. It was a stark reminder of how little stuff I had for Amelia. Madison had only left me with the car seat, her handmade blanket, and a diaper bag with some clothes. She was going to need a lot more. Not to mention an entire nursery.

"You might need to get a job," I said to Amelia, who gurgled in response, her eyes fluttering open. "You make a good point. Fine, I'll get the job."

I pulled out my phone and checked my balance in my banking app, then groaned. "Might need to make that two jobs."

I opened the notes app on my phone and started making a list of what I needed to do and the things Amelia would need. Then I side-eyed Amelia, who was watching me with those big, curious eyes.

"This stays between us, okay? Don't tell Delaney I'm making lists. I've got a reputation to keep."

The list grew longer by the second, and I winced. I was lucky I'd been able to borrow some stuff from Delaney, but she'd need it back soon when she had her own baby. I smiled then, despite the building panic, because I couldn't be more happy for my friend and her growing family.

I startled as someone knocked on my window. Xander stood there, eyebrows raised in question, raindrops glistening in his hair. I rolled down the window.

"What are you doing out here?" he asked.

"I wasn't sure if I should go inside," I admitted.

Xander opened the door and reached out a hand. "This is your home, Blake. You don't need to wait to be invited inside."

That statement struck a chord with me, but I had enough on my plate right now and didn't need to start thinking about past trauma.

I laughed nervously and took his hand as he helped me out of the car. "For now." It left a bad taste in my mouth, and I didn't even know why I'd said it, but I brushed past it.

Xander peered inside the SUV at the now sleeping Amelia and then gently closed the door behind me so as not to wake her up. I tried not to think too hard on how considerate he was of her. Xander would be an incredible dad one day, and it was going to be hard work remembering that he wasn't signing on to do that for Amelia. To remember that this was a temporary solution to an immediate problem.

Reece and Booker pulled in behind Xander's truck and we stepped away from each other just like how we did back at Delaney's house. There was a slight air of awkwardness between us now. Like we didn't notice when we leaned in too close, until someone else pierced the bubble that seemed to form around us.

"Right, time to unload," Booker said with a wince as he flexed the fingers of his hand that was partially covered with his cast.

A pang of guilt hit me. He still wasn't recovered, no matter what he seemed to think about it. There was no way he should be helping me move right now.

I opened my mouth to say something only for Reece to gently shake her head as she came to my side. "Don't even bother," she said, sounding exhausted. "I've already tried."

"Besides, if you don't have me and all my muscles moving these boxes, you'll be here all day." Booker laughed and then grabbed the closest box, hefting it up onto the shoulder of his good arm like it didn't weigh a thing.

It said a lot about the current shape I was in that Booker with a broken arm was surviving moving day better than I was. I could feel that sticky static in the back of my shirt that you got whenyou sweated and then sat in an air conditioned car with rain-dampened clothes.

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