Page 53 of The Lies We Told Ourselves

Oh dang, I’d have to get used to having a kid around.

“Well, it’s like this…” Blake started.

“Uncle Booker is just worried that Dex thinks he’s old, and we’re all laughing because he is,” Delaney quickly interrupted.

“Hey!” Booker objected. “I’m not old.”

“If the shoe fits, brother,” Dex quipped.

My gaze quickly bounced to Xander who just sat watching the situation unfold in front of him in interest. At least he looked slightly less miserable as everyone made fun of his older brother.

“Who wants dessert?” I offered, quickly getting a grateful look from Booker.

“Me!” Blake and Cade both shouted at the same time.

As I got up to fetch the three desserts I’d made, because I was having a meltdown about people who might not like cheesecake, I couldn’t help but smile. Booker might be slightly upset about being called old, but he was happy.

There was a time when I’d decided this would be how I’d repay Booker for helping me when most people wouldn’t have. But now there was a part of me that really wanted to have something like this for myself.

I’d never really considered myself lonely before I came here. I thought I was progressing through life like I was supposed to. I had a job I’d worked hard for, a man who I stupidly thoughtcared about me. At some point, there probably would have been some kids. I’d thought that would make all the doubts and the questions disappear. That the only reason it didn’t feel right was because I wasn’t trying hard enough. I wasn’t fulfilling some hidden need.

And I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Because having people around you that cared about you wasn’t about trying to change yourself to make them happy, it was about being happy because of exactly who you already were.

CHAPTER NINETEEN

BOOKER

Ihadn’t believed her when she said a family dinner would be a great idea. If I was completely honest with myself, the only reason I went through with it was because Reece seemed to really want to do it.

I hadn’t even considered that I really had a family. And that thought made me feel like an absolute ass right about now.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think of Trace as family. Of course, I did. He was my brother, and I might not say it out loud, but I loved him. I guessed I’d just never really considered that we met the criteria of what a family was supposed to be. And that wasn’t even taking into account Xander. We’d grown apart over the years, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care about him either. We’d just gotten too caught up in our own lives that it was easy to forget about the other, which made me feel like an even bigger ass than before.

Looking around at the people gathered in my home, I could see how mistaken I’d been.

They’d been here this whole time. I’d just been taking them for granted and not giving them the credit and respect they deserved.

Even poor Dex. He’d been our friend since childhood, and he was always there whenever we needed him. Hell, he’d fixed up Reece’s car, and I know for a fact that there was no way he’d charged me for all the work he’d done on it.

Over the years, I’d closed myself off. I’d shut myself away on this ranch, convincing myself that it was for the best. That I was protecting myself. All I’d done was deprive myself of the life I’d always dreamed of. I pushed away not just the people who hurt me but those who genuinely cared about me as well. And I wasn’t the only Farrington brother who’d done that. Pushed and pushed at the cost of not just themselves but the people around them.

That was going to change.

Because Reece was right, and I was absolutely telling her that when we were finally alone again.

But first, there was something more serious I needed to deal with.

“Come on,” I said, pushing Xander’s feet off my coffee table as I stood up. “You can help me with some last things around the ranch for the night.”

He looked up at me in alarm and then down at his fancy slacks. “What? I’m working for my supper now, am I?”

“Damn straight. Now, move your ass.”

I strode through the kitchen and headed out the back door, Val running around me before she fell into step at my side. This was her favorite part of the day and even the promise of belly scratches from Cade wouldn’t keep her from the ranch chores.

If only everyone else had the same attitude. Well, minus the belly scratches. I had my limits, except for Reece.

---