Page 86 of Tight End

To fall in love with.

He brings me peace and comfort, just like Davis did.

I still can’t shake the feeling that Davis sent him to me the night he died, and then again a couple of weeks ago when I was at my lowest.

But now he knows, without a doubt, how much of an emotional disaster I really am.

Not that it matters.

I lost my chance with him and Jack swooped in to claim his.

“I used to blame myself,” I say, not able to raise my gaze. “But now I know it’s his problem, not mine.”

“He’s got to live with his choices,” Sam murmurs, squeezing my shoulder. “Shame on him for making the wrong ones over and over.”

I scrub a hand down the front of my face. “I tried. Fuck, I tried so much, so hard, and for so long. He just pushed me further and further away.”

“It’s his loss.”

I turn and stomp down the steps. I see his car parked across the street, and like a magnet, it draws me over. He always kept it so pristine, so clean, always gave me a hard time if I had a snack in the backseat and dropped a single bit of it.

He’s a prick. Always was.

I bend down and grab a rock from a nearby flower bed.

Short, sharp gasps tear at my lungs as I drag it acrossthe shiny paint, leaving a mark. I stand in front of the hood, glaring at the clean windshield. Not a single speck of dirt on the damn thing.

Nothing like the charred and blackened heart he helped create.

I fire the rock at the windshield as hard as I can. It doesn’t break, but the cracks spider out, covering the tempered glass.

The alarm blares out and I smile.

Sam hobbles toward my rental. “Did that feel better?”

“Nah. I’d have rather chucked it at his damn head.” I finally look at Sam and jog over to help him into the passenger seat. Once he’s inside, I walk to the driver’s side, but not before I look back up at Allie’s house. My father’s face is in the window. I flip him off with both hands.

“Fuck you, Dad,” I roar. Then I jump into the driver’s seat, turn on the ignition, and speed down the otherwise quiet street.

“He never gave a damn about me. I spent my whole life waiting for any crumb he’d drop. I wanted a family life like you have, so fucking badly. I thought if he could care about me, I’d be okay. But goddammit, that rejection ate away at me, even though Davis tried to make up for it. I was afraid I’d never be happy. And it took me a long time to realize that I needed to find my own happiness, despite having that rat ass as a father.”

A long silence follows. My heart beats a mile a minute, and for the first time in years, I feel lighter, like I can breathe again. Like I’m free of the judgment and the hate.

I know it still exists, but I left it behind instead of carrying it deep inside of me.

I released it and I’ll never let it plague me again.

“And what would make you happy, Brixton?” Sam asks slowly.

The traffic light turns red and I press my foot onthe brake.

Fuck it.

I don’t want to be afraid anymore.

So I’m taking a risk, probably the biggest one of my life.

I turn my head toward him. “You. I was too stupid and too scared to admit it before, but I’m saying it now. I wantyou, Sam.”

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