Page 109 of Tight End

Then he turns and slowly walks down the street, his hands stuffed into his pockets.

Sam bursts out the door, his eyes wide with alarm. “What happened? What did he say?”

I shrug. “He wanted to make amends. But I’m not on the same page.”

Sam opens his mouth to say something then closes it. “Do you feel good about the way you handled it?”

“Nope. I hate the way I handled it. It fucking kills me to not have a relationship with my father. But he’s a constant reminder of the pain I lived with from the day I was born. Maybe one day I’ll be able to find a way to forgive him. But it’s definitely not today.”

Sam hugs me close. “I love you, and I’ll always stand by you.”

I breathe in the fresh, clean scent of Chanel Bleu, my favorite cologne of his. “I know. But you think I’ll regret this, don’t you?”

He pauses for a second before nodding. “I do. But I also know you, of all people, need to do things in your own time.”

I lean my forehead against his. “I have everything I’ll ever need, right here, right now.”

It stings, what I just did. Sending my father away, rejecting his attempt at reconciliation.

My story may not have a picture perfect ending with all loose ends tied up with a pretty red bow. Sometimes there just aren’t any resolutions to be had.

But it’smystory.

And I’m stronger now with Sam at my side and I’ll never let anyone take over the writing of it again.

Epilogue

BRIXTON - ONE YEAR LATER

“You look so nervous,” Mandee Hartley says with a conspiratorial smile lifting her lips. She gives my arm a squeeze. “There are a lot of people out there waiting for you to walk on that stage for your opening night.”

I grin back at her. “Eh, crowds don’t intimidate me. Only one person out there matters.”

It’s been a year since Sam and I collided into each other’s lives for the second time. I still can’t believe everything that’s happened since that night in the bar. Sometimes I have to pinch myself to remember that I’m actually a co-habitant in this blissful bubble we’ve created.

I moved into his apartment in Oakland after the shooting. He wanted to keep me close while I healed, and then he wouldn’t let me leave.

Not that I tried.

We’ve been inseparable ever since then.

I went to every one of his games once he was cleared to play and cheered the loudest. And he was with me for every recording session with the guys. We took road trips up anddown the California coast to record new tracks from our album and made pit stops along the way at different hospitals to cheer up the kids with some music and fun. Between Chase and the label, we made connections with a bunch of hospitals in the state and arranged for lots of surprise drop-ins.

I can’t get enough of the feeling it brings me to put smiles on these kids’ faces. It’s incredible to be able to give them even just a little bit of happiness and a memory they’ll cherish for as long as they can.

I run my fingers through my hair and mess it up. My signature just-fucked look.

Mandee paces the floor behind me, and I chuckle.

“You sure you’re not going up there?”

She laughs nervously, wringing her hands together when the door opens. Sam, Chase, and Bill walk into the dressing room, all smiles.

After my brush with death, we had a whole come to Jesus moment. I told them I loved their son and that even though I may have been a train wreck before him, there was no way I was gonna make the same mistakes again. And it took time for them to trust, which I get.

And now, they practically run my fan club. It’s nice to feel like part of their family. It does suck that I feel more comfortable with people I’ve only known for a short time than with my own father, but we all make choices. Maybe someday, my father and I will reconcile. We’ve seen each other over the past year, every few months at Allie’s for some occasion or other. It’s not comfortable, but it’s not horrible either. Each time gets easier and Sam tries too. Deep down, I know he wants me to rekindle something with my dad because his own relationship with his father is so special to him. He wants that for me, too.

Maybe someday.

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