Page 102 of Tight End

Maybe if he can feel me here…

I slip one hand underneath his and lace my fingers with his cold ones, careful not to disturb the IV.

“I was such a fucking idiot for letting you leave like that,” I whisper. “I didn’t mean anything I said to you. I was scared of how strong my feelings were and…and…”

My voice cuts out and I clear my throat.

“I didn’t trust you with my heart and I’m sorry. You own it, Brixton. Only you.”

I stare at his face. He doesn’t make a move. No hand squeeze, no fluttering eyelids.

Nothing.

“I love you. I should have been strong enough to say the words. I’ll never miss the chance again if you just…” My throat tightens, my eyes stinging. “If you just wake up.”

I dip my head and graze his lips with mine. Then I take my crutches, swing myself around, and leave the room, the beeping sounds reverberating between my ears.

A few minutes later, the elevator door pings and I hobble off and walk in the direction of the lobby waiting room. More people swarm the place. Brixton’s bandmates huddle together with their manager and agent. A bunch of guys in suits sit in another corner on their phones. Allie rocks Julianna in her arms, Martin sitting next to them, staring blankly at the tiled floor. Cops and security line each entrance, inside and outside.

I turn my head to the swarms of people now gathered outside. There are so many more than there were when we got here. More flowers, posters, and candles fill the empty ground space.

With a resigned breath, I stand against the wall facing the courtyard. A poster of Brixton stares back at me with that cocky, sexy smile I love so much.

“Sam.”

I jump out of my thoughts and twist to see my parents. Mom reaches for me and I fall into her arms.

“Have you heard anything?” Dad asks. “Did they catch the person who did this?”

I shake my head. “No, the cops are still looking for leads. It was a clean hit. I just came from his room, but…nothing. How did you know to come?”

“Jack called us.” Mom pulls away, her eyes sad. “Sam, I’m so sorry about what happened at the house that night. I feel awful. I never meant for him to overhear. And we certainly didn’t want to hurt either of you.”

“You know how much I love you guys, right?” I lean back against a wall to take the pressure off my good leg for a minute.

“Of course,” Dad says.

“I value your opinions and listen to your advice. But I’m a grown man. I can make my own decisions. Sometimes I think you forget that. We went through something really traumatic with Chase and that only made you hold on to me tighter. I let it happen, though, so I blame myself.”

“Sweetie,” Mom starts but I put up a hand.

“Let me finish. I let myself get sucked into your idea that Brixton wasn’t good for me because I was afraid that I’d get hurt. But it’s always risky when you realize you’ve fallen in love with someone, no matter who they are. There’s always a chance you’ll get hurt. And I ended up hurting him. Badly. And now I don’t know if I can ever make up for it.”

Dad squeezes my shoulder. “I’m sorry, son.”

I let out a shaky breath. “He’s everything to me. And I know you think it happened fast, but to be honest, it really didn’t. It started a long time ago, and I pray to God that it’s not even close to ending.”

“We want that for you, sweetie,” Mom says. “So badly.”

Behind Mom, Allie slowly approaches. After I do a quickintroduction, she asks if I want to go back to the CVICU with her. “I’ll make sure you get in.”

“Definitely.”

I limp back to the elevators with her, silent prayers and pleas looping through my mind.

We step into the hallway and make our way back to his room.

“Have you heard anything?” I ask. “The doctors are a little pissed at me because I might have told them they’re not doing their job?—”

---