Page 66 of Go Deep

“It’s a bad time for me to be away. I have responsibilities to my clients, and with the markets being so unpredictable, I can’t just take off. He understands how important it is for my clients to feel like I’m there for them, whenever they need me.”

And if that excuse doesn’t work for you, I’ll come up with a shit ton more… anything that keeps me out of the public eye. It’s bad enough to be associated in name only, but to be the poster child for political gay bashing? I’m a liar, but it doesn’t impact anyone but me. I refuse to be a mouthpiece for the most backward-thinking political machine in Ohio.

“I understand your responsibilities, but you need to think of your obligation to your family and to the party.”

“And what about my obligation to the clients whose livelihoods are in my hands? Sorry, Carolyn. I’ll donate whatever cash you need, but my time isn’t up for grabs. Tell my father I’ll give him a call later.”

I stab the End button on my iPhone and drop it onto a pile of papers. No fucking way in hell will I ever posture for those narrow-minded asshats. And yes, although I love my father, he is definitely one of said asshats.

I collapse into a chair next to the bed and cover my head with my hand. All I can see flash in front of my eyes is Gabe’s muscular body stretched out on my bed. Tanned, muscular,and powerful, a force to be reckoned with on the football field. Weak would be the last word you’d ever use to describe him. And yet, bigots like Jase Maxwell, that tool, saw his sexual orientation as a fatal flaw, a chink in the armor, an Achilles heel.

Forget that Gabe could pummel him into the center of the planet with the fists attached to his bulging biceps.

But because of his lifestyle, he’s different, and to people who can’t see past their noses, they think he has a significant deficiency like so many others who were brave enough to come out and face the hate.

So now I have a choice to make. Play the part of the homophobic poster boy for my dad or give up everything I have in exchange for the great unknown.

The repercussions of coming out could be pricey as hell and I have to be willing to pay.

A pang in my chest makes me wince.

But is Gabe worth it? Is anyone?

Chapter 27

Gabe

Igot my fucking answer. So why the hell can’t I just accept it and move on?

Catching a look at myself in the mirror over the sink in the locker room, my lips twist. He’s just as bad as his father, just as bad as the people who put him in office. And now he’s going to stand next to the senator and support his campaign, which is really just a thinly veiled witch hunt for the entire domestic LGBTQ+ community.

Jesus, if that man actually becomes president…

I shake my head, a scoff slipping from my lips. I smear thick lines of eye black and back away from the mirror.

“Hey, man.” Lucas grins ay my reflection. “Really heaping on the eye black today, yeah?”

I manage half a smirk. “Yeah, well, it’s cloudy. That’s when the sun’s strongest.”

Ironic that I mention the sun since the days since I left Vince’s hotel room have been pretty damn dark. Like walking away from him sucked all the light out of my days. It kind ofhas been the case, too, since it’s been overcast ever since the day of the Ohio State game.

“You got any plans after the game? I could really use some advice.”

I clap a hand on Lucas’ shoulder, furrowing my brow. “Everything okay?”

He brings a hand to the back of his neck and looks around until his eyes pause on a familiar fucknut face. “As good as it can be. In here, anyway. Let’s talk later.”

“Sure.” But he wanders away before the word is even out. Lucas recently confided in me about some random hookups he’s had, and one guy who’s gone to the press. He’s afraid of his past catching up to him…more guys coming forward and smearing his NFL reputation as one of the most promising rookie right tackles in the league. I’ve been there. Hell, I think every out player has felt that pressure of bad decisions past lynching them. And even though Lucas is confident in his ability to play, we both know the team doesn’t need any more distractions that are going to throw the team further off track, especially with this preseason game on the line. It doesn’t count in our standings, but it’ll give the world a first glimpse of how we’re gelling together…or not.

I narrow my eyes at Jase. That asshole better not have done anything to Lucas. I will personally kick his ass from goal post to goal post if I hear he’s involved with whatever has Lucas so spooked.

As if he can read my mind, Jase turns around and meets my suspicious gaze. He holds it for a second before flipping me off and walking out of the locker room with his helmet tucked underneath his arm.

A sudden rush of rage courses over me. It’s people like Jase fucking Maxwell who make us think twice about how to live our lives. It’s because of people like him, ones with smallminds and big ass mouths, who cast a dismal shadow over others who live their lives differently. It’s people like him who make happiness seem like it can be such an unattainable trophy.

I grab my own helmet and stalk out the door. A nagging voice in the back of my head grumbles about how I’m so focused on other people because I don’t want to face my own challenges. It hums in my ear like an annoying as fuck fly that I can’t kill, no matter how many times I swipe at it.

Maybe because it’s true.

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