Page 57 of Go Deep

But she can’t and never could be.

I rake a hand through my hair and avert my eyes until they lock in on the horrified gaze of the one person I do.

Chapter 23

Gabe

Somehow, I make it through the second half of the game without choking on any of my commentary while the image of Kim’s fake boobs pressed up against Vince loops tormentingly through my mind.

Her faint perfumed scent clings to his clothes. No shock since she was all over him like ants at a picnic. The sickeningly sweet smell wafts under my nose, a toxic cloud that makes my gut roil. Breathing it in means I acknowledge that she’s made her claim and that he’s fallen prey to it.

I can’t even look at him. My teeth grit every time he speaks. His voice grates against my skin in the most annoyingly and inconveniently erotic way despite the fact that I want to pummel him into the turf field below.

There are so many things I want to scream at him. All of the words knot in the back of my throat, damn near asphyxiating me. I know why he’s so torn between being the man everyone expects him to be and the man he really is.

The man I’ve fallen for, fuck my life.

And I know better than anyone how much it sucks to losepeople because they think less of you than you ever imagined they could.

A parent’s love should be unconditional, and to realize it has strings is the worst pain imaginable.

I should be more understanding. I should be more patient. I should be more sympathetic.

But instead, anger rumbles in my gut because again,rejection. At this point, I should be numb to it.

I’m not. The sting is so sharp and so searing, it just exacerbates old wounds like alcohol poured into an open sore.

I put myself out there, took the first step, and opened my heart to the possibility of something new, only to have it stabbed mercilessly with a reminder that I don’t deserve the happiness I think I do.

How could I when I stole that possibility away from someone else? I broke Shane. Shattered him. And I don’t feel the tiniest bit of remorse for any of it. Should I really be surprised that he’s turned into a psycho stalker?

Karma. There really is no limit to her bitchiness.

The referee finally signals the end of the game. I jump up from my chair like someone shoved a fire poker up my ass. Red-and-white-clad Titans fans go berserk in the stands below as Ohio States takes their first win against the Panthers. I do a quick about-face and shake hands with the sound techs before darting out the door.

Raking a hand through my hair, I pass the elevator, not wanting to risk another encounter with Vince on my way out. My hand is on my car door handle when a strong hand clasps my shoulder.

“Gabe, it was great to have you here.” Sam Stevens, Assistant Director of Athletics, smiles at me. “I tailed you from the announcer’s booth. You got a hot date or something?”

I force a smile so tight, my jaw nearly cracks. “Just with a beer.”

Not entirely false, but this date is going to be with something a little stronger, like whiskey.

“Well, I hope you join us for the reception. I’m not sure if Neil passed on the information, but it’s being held in the Coaches’ Suite. There are a lot of people who want to meet you, a lot who are inspired by what you’ve done, on and off the field.” Sam smiles. “Can I count on you?”

Fuck. I don’t feel particularly inspirational right now. In fact, I feel like there’s a hairline crack running through me, and at any second I’m going to shatter from rage.

“Yeah, that sounds good. It’ll be great to see everyone again.”

“To have two superstars announce our first game and such an incredible win is an honor for our team and our community.” He slaps me on the back. “Come on, first drink is on me.”

Jesus. I really can’t escape this, can I? There is no way it’s not karma biting me square in the ass. Target locked and acquired.

Things were going well for me. I’d gotten a little bit of closure before Dad died, figured out how to compartmentalize the pain, sadness, and disappointment so I could move on with my life. I even handled the fallout over my coming-out announcement. I was good. Not great, but that didn’t seem to be out of reach anymore.

The only thing left for me to handle was my money. All I wanted to do was get my finances straight, and then Vince barged into my life with all his dark and sexy sinfulness. Harmless flirting, drinks, and steamy innuendo led me to a place where I’ve become…Shane.

The unrequited.

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