Page 35 of Go Deep

And I’m already lying to the world about so much. I’d rather they look away rather than see right through me.

Dad purses his lips and steeples his fingers. “You need a publicist.”

“I’ve got Jeanette. She’s the best. She does everything I need.”

“You should bring her. At least she’d be a nice billboard to have on your arm.”

I let out a groan. “Enough.”

“Fine. Are you calling the game with anyone else?”

Hairs on the back of my neck prickle. “Yeah. Will got Gabe Kelly, too.”

Dad’s eyebrows fly upward. “You’re not serious.”

“As a heart attack,” I say pointedly. His nostrils flare in response.

My pulse hums at the thought of being close to Gabe again even though I can’t imagine he’d agree to do this with me after the way we ended things at the event.

But seeing him again in the flesh…fuck. My whole body might just spontaneously combust on the spot.

The memory of his heated stare still makes my insides hum, even though I screwed things up the other night at the event. There’s no way he’ll agree to do this event with me. The pain of rejection I saw in his hardened gaze still makes my gut knot. I caused that pain because I couldn’t be honest with him.

Always fucking hiding.

“I think you should call Will back and decline.” My father’s face goes from defeatist to stoic in seconds.

“Why the hell would I do that?”

Dad slams his hands on either side of his plate. “Do you realize that Bob is my biggest donor and an investor in your company? How do you think he’ll react if he knows that you will be with Gabe Kelly on Saturday?”

A tiny chill of anticipation slithers down my spine.

“I’m calling a game with him. What difference does that make to Bob’s campaign donations or to my company?”

“If people see you all buddy-buddy, they’ll talk. They’ll think you don’t support me or the campaign. Bob won’t be happy. He’ll see both of us as a bad investment if we’re not aligned.”

Anger tears through me. “If Bob wants to pull his investment from my company because I’m guest sportscasting a game with a gay man, then fuck him.” Blood rushes to my face. “I don’t answer to anyone for my choices. I’m going to the game, and I don’t give a shit what you or your ‘constituents’ have to say about it.”

Dad stands up from the chair, his eyes spitting fire. “You need to join me on the trail to show your support. If you do this?—”

“Iamdoing this.”

“You’re putting everything at risk for both of us, for no good reason other than to defy me.”

We stand, glaring at each other.

A hot ball of ire snowballs deep in my chest. If I let it out, we’re finished. There won’t be a relationship to salvage. And I’m pretty sure my words will cut so deep, he’ll bleed out.

It’s the exact outcome I’ve avoided for my whole life.

There’s only one thing for me to do.

“It’s not always about you, Dad.” I turn on my heel and stalk out of the kitchen. It’s only when I’m outside the house that I can breathe again. The invisible noose loosens, the toxic air polluting my body and mind finally dissipates.

But it’s never far away.

That cloud always hovers, just like my demons.

---