Page 13 of Go Deep

“Okay, Senator. Get some rest. Vince, it was nice meeting you.” Dr. Morrison holds out his hand. I quickly pump it once and yank mine back. He furrows his brow and flashes a quick smile at Eva before leaving the room.

“Dad, I’m going to give Carolyn a call. She and the rest of your staff are so worried.” Eva kisses his cheek. “We’ll beback in a few minutes, okay? Close your eyes for a little while.”

Dad lets out a deep breath and settles back against the pillows. “Tell her I’ll be back in a few days.”

Eva rolls her eyes and pushes me out the door. “Come on, we need to talk.”

“About?”

She links her arm with mine and leads me down the corridor, her voice now a whisper. “Does anyone know, other than me and Dr. Morrison?”

Damn that doctor. He might as well have shoved a hand down my pants, for Christ’s sake. “You already know the answer to that question.”

Eva pushes me into a deserted waiting room. “Look, I knowwhyyou’ve kept it hidden. But when is enough going to be enough? When Dad’s not here anymore? I hate seeing you so closed off. There are ways to be discreet, you know.”

“Eva, stop. I’m serious. This conversation is over.”

She grabs my arm. “Don’t shut me out. I love you, and I only want what’s best for you.”

“Then you’d drop this now.” I shake off her hand, ignoring the pained look on her face. Why the hell is she bringing this up now…here of all places? I’ve spent so many years burying it, only to have it thrown in my face, mere feet away from the reason for all the secrecy.

“Why are you shutting me out? You deserve to be happy. If Mom’s death and Dad’s heart attack have shown us anything, it’s to not waste another second. Dr. Morrison was totally hot for you, why don’t?—?”

“Enough.” I rake my hands through my hair. “You have no idea how it feels to hide, to be afraid of letting people know who I really am because I’m panicked about being rejected, to lie to the person who is supposed to love me more than anyonebecause he thinks who I am is an abomination to God. Besides, I’m not the only one here who’s hiding, E. How much longer are you going to keep yourself locked inyourplastic bubble?”

Eva’s eyes widen. “My situation is hardly the same as yours. I’m just trying to be cautious. You’re completely shut down.”

“Bullshit. For two years, you’ve bypassed every guy who’s given you a second look. They’re not all going to be like Max.”

She sinks into a chair and covers her face with her hands. “I missed it, Vince. It was staring me in the face all along, and I completely missed it. My life went up in smoke because of him, and I’ve been rebuilding ever since. I think I have every right to be cautious. But you? You’ve never even given yourself a chance to make the bad choice. You just hide.”

I flop into the chair next to her and drape an arm around her shoulders. “How are younotthe kettle here? And don’t give me any of your psycho-babble bullshit, either.”

“I’ve been burned. Scorched is more like it. I never want to put myself in that position again. Would I love to take it all back and prevent everything from crashing down around me?” She tucks a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “I won’t lie. I wish things hadn’t happened the way they did. But I’m a stronger, more secure person because of Max. I know what I want and what I need to avoid. Consider this a wake-up call. Don’t waste any more time.”

“It would never work. I know it’d get back to Dad, and I don’t want to lose whatever shreds of a relationship we have over it. Besides, how would it look on the campaign trail if his son suddenly announced he was gay, or worse, was outed by the opposition? Haven’t I done enough to fail him?”

“Did you ever think maybe he put so much pressure on you when you were playing football because he knew how special and talented you were, and pushing you was the only way heknew to nurture it? When you got hurt, he blamed himself, not you. He felt like he’d failed you. That’s why he pulled back and why he continues to ignore it. He could have lost you, and he carries that guilt with him every day.”

My jaw hit the floor for the second time that day. “How do you know all this?”

“I’m not only observant, but I also have a bunch of degrees from some pretty expensive schools. Occupational hazard.”

“I appreciate the ad hoc therapy session, Doc. But I’ve spent so much of my life hiding, I don’t really know if I’m ready to be found.”

Chapter 7

Gabe

Iwalk out of the parking garage next to my building then look up and down Barrow Street. It’s pretty much deserted at this hour. My phone pings with a text. Great. It’s from Austin, my brother. And I’ll bet he needs cash.

Jesus Christ, when did I become the family ATM? I rake a hand through my hair. At least he’s looking out for Mom. How many times a day do I repeat that mantra to myself to keep from calling him and telling him to get a damn job so he can pay for his own booze? The guy can’t seriously think I don’t know he guzzles all the money I send.

I pull open the door to the building, wincing as the pain accosts my rotator cuff after another grueling training camp practice. I am not in the mood to deal with this injury. A short elevator ride later, I stop short in front of my door.

It’s cracked open.

Fuck. Is someone inside?

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