Page 44 of Draft Pick

"Not much. Just that yes, it was true and that…uh, she didn't need me around."

"What do you mean?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah, what does that mean? You mean, she's letting you off the hook? No strings attached?" Zay asked warily. "Can you get that in writing? Girls, not sayingthisgirl, butsomegirls will say anything to get you to let down your guard and then BAM, child support when you least expect it."

"I don't want off the hook," I ground out, second-guessing my decision to share any of this with Zay before talking to Starlie. "I'm not walking away from my kid."

"Assuming it's yours," Lincoln reminded me quietly, not to be a jerk but because certainty was best in these kinds of situations.

Zay shook his head, dumbfounded, and he tried again to apply what he believed was solid logic. "Listen to yourself. You don't want to be tied down to some girl you barely know just because of a careless moment. C'mon, take the emotion out of it and think straight. What are your parents going to say? There's no way they're going to be cool with this. Your old man is likely to have a coronary."

"Yeah, I know," I said, dreading that conversation. "But I can't think about that right now. I need to figure this shit out with Starlie first."

"I'm confused…are you into this girl, for real?" Zay asked.

I didn't know how to answer. Yeah, I liked her, but I screwed things up before they could get off the ground because I knew she didn't fit in the game plan for my life. Fuck, I had no idea that one decision could end up screwing my future in the biggest way possible.

Lincoln remained mostly silent. He could see I was struggling, and he didn't want to jump in and say something stupid. I knew he was trying to be supportive, but this was way outside of his depth, and I appreciated that he wasn't just verbal vomiting whatever came to his head.

I took a deep breath, admitting, "Yeah, I do like her but I ghosted her for a stupid reason and now that stupid reason might be the thing that ruins my chances at fixing things."

Lincoln finally spoke up, his voice slow and measured. "What do you want to do?"

I paused, considering Lincoln's question. I wanted to be with Starlie, but I didn't know how to make that happen.

"I want to be with her," I decided, finally saying the words out loud. "I want to make it work. I just don't know how."

"If that's the case, that's easy," Zay interjected, looking at me as if the solution were right in front of my face. "You sweep her off her feet. Buy her flowers, take her out on dates, shower her with compliments. Women love that shit."

"Starlie isn't that shallow. I hurt her. It's going to take more than flowers."

"More than flowers? What the hell did you do? Run over her dog or something?"

I might've broken her heart, but I kept that to myself. It seemed presumptuous on my part to assume Starlie had deeper feelings for me when we barely knew each other, but I couldn't be the only one who the connection had completely bowled over.

Lincoln suggested, "Be honest and genuine with her. You want to make this work? Then you need to communicate with her. Listen to her. See what she wants and needs, and then work to make that happen."

"That's the worst advice ever," Zay disagreed. "Women don't want the truth, they want to feel like they're special — and women feel special when you buy them gifts. I'm telling you, every time my old man did something stupid when he was drunk, he'd buy my mom a big ol' bouquet of flowers and she'd let him back in the house."

"Thanks man, but I don't think a bunch of flowers is going to fix what I broke."

"Are you sure you want to make things work with this chick? She sounds high-maintenance. I mean, you don't have to be in a relationship with someone to share custody, you know what I'm saying? Hell, maybe if you're lucky you can get, like, one weekend a month of required visitation. That way, you have the rest of the month free and clear and only one weekend when you've got a little dude cramping your style. Although," Zay considered as a potential plus, "chicks love babies, so that could work in your favor."

"Zay…promise me you will get a vasectomy," I quipped, shaking my head at the numbskull.

"Trust me, I've thought of it," Zay returned, not offended.

But Lincoln clapped me on the shoulder, saying, "You can do this. You just need to take it one step at a time. Start by talking to her about what she needs. Show her that you care and that you're here for her. And, most of all, be honest."

Be honest. I winced. That bit of honesty might hurt her more, though. How could I possibly admit that I bailed on her because I was afraid that she didn't fit in the picture my parents had for my future? I was ashamed that I didn't go to bat for her when I should've.

But Lincoln was right. I needed to talk to her, lay everything on the table, and see where we both stood. Maybe it was too late, and Starlie's mind was made up, but I had to try. I owed it to her and our child.

"I'll talk to her," I said, determination firming my voice. "I'll try to make things right."

Zay rolled his eyes. "Good luck with that. Women are unpredictable creatures, man."

Lincoln gave Zay a sidelong glance, his expression clearly stating that he disagreed with him.

---