Page 37 of Draft Pick

I stared at him and all of his audacity. "Did you really just ask me if you could spend the night?" I didn't wait for an answer. My temper flashed. "Hell no, you can't follow me home. I don't really want talk to you. It may come as a shock but I'm pissed that you know because I hadn't decided whether or not I was going to tell you and somebody else took that choice away from me. So, no, you may not follow me home." I folded my arms across my chest. "Who told you?"

Cason scowled, taken aback by my attitude, though I was unsure what he expected. "Does it matter?" He shot back. "You knew you were pregnant, and you didn't tell me. Don't you think that was information I deserved to know? You owe me an explanation."

Oh, that was the wrong thing to say, especially in my current frame of mind. "I don't owe you anything. I haven't asked you for anything, nor will I. I'm not interested in co-parenting with you or having you in my baby's life. I didn't plan for this to happen, but I'm adjusting. My mom was a single mom, and she did just fine. I'll be fine, too."

"Hold up, you really think it's okay to cut me out of my kid's life, just like it doesn't matter?"

"Don't say it like that. I'm not the bad guy. I'm trying to make the best decision for everyone involved. Can you honestly say that you're ready to be a father?" At his hesitation, I had my answer. "See? I'm giving you an easy out. Just take it and we can both go our separate ways, politely and without any drama."

Cason stared at me, dumbfounded. I couldn't tell if he was insulted or if his ego was bruised that I didn't want anything to do with him. However, he thought I would react; I was doing the opposite, and he didn't know how to handle it. I told him from the start I wasn't some football groupie and never would be.

Cason recovered, narrowing his gaze. "I think this is bullshit. You don't need to act the martyr. There are options. I would've helped you if you wanted to…uh, you know, get things taken care of."

I returned caustically, "As eloquent as that offer sounds, no thanks. I made the choice that was right for me."

"Without taking me into consideration at all."

"That's right. You're not even part of the equation," I shot back hotly.

I held Cason's stare, my heart thundering in my chest. Was that a flicker of pain in his eyes, or was I imagining pain that wasn't there? I wasn't a mean person. I was trying to do what was right for everyone. Including Cason. I drew a deep breath, saying, "I'mchoosingto do it alone, so you're off the hook, okay? And I'm not just saying that…I mean it." I fished my keys out of my purse, ready to go home but Cason stopped me.

"Starlie… I'm sorry. I know I'm handling this poorly. I'm just a little spun out and I need time to process everything. Give me a chance to think this through and then we'll come to a solution."

Exasperation and exhaustion sharpened my voice to a point. "Are you deaf? Did you get hit too many times in the head tonight? I just said I don't need your help nor do I want it. I told you I'm going do it on my own. I'm not saying that to be dramatic. I'm planning to do this on my own and when I made that decision, I was relieved. You aren't ready to be a dad and I might not have been ready to be a mom, but I'm embracing the challenge and it's going to be fine. I don't plan to put your name on the birth certificate so nobody can come after you later on for abandoning your kid. I truly don't need you."

My eyes suddenly stung as the words left my mouth. Damn it, these baby hormones were brutal. I meant what I said, but it hurt a little that the only reason he was popping up in my life was because he perceived a crisis in his.

My pride wanted to know why he ghosted me. What had I misinterpreted about that day? From my perspective, the day had been almost perfect, but clearly, I was wrong because the second he drove away, he hadn't thought of me again.

And that fucking hurt. You can be a strong, fierce woman and still be hurt by rejection. My voice betrayed my fatigue as I asked, "Are we done here?"

The rigid set of Cason's jaw betrayed his frustration, but what else could be said? He stepped away as if he were going to leave it at that, but then he stopped and said with a stubborn shake of his head. "No. Absolutely not. You don't get to decide that I don't get to be a part of my kid's life. That's not your choice. You made a decision that affected me and expect me to go along with it. When did I ever give you the impression that I would have so little character that I would walk away from my child?"

My eyes stung again. "I don't know, probably when you ghosted me after spending an amazing day together, pretending that you wanted to see me again. Your last words to me were, 'I'm going to make you dinner,' and then nothing, I never heard from you again. Maybe we have two different interpretations of what that offer means, but I definitely didn't take it to mean that I would never see or hear from you again. My bad."

He swore under his breath, rubbing his forehead as if something had just stabbed him in the dome. "Yeah, about that…there are things you don't know and I wish that I'd told you?—"

I cut him off because it didn't matter. "Whatever. You had your reasons. I'd hoped to do this civilly without getting lawyers involved but if you'd prefer, I'll see if I can get some paperwork together so you can sign away paternity."

"Fuck that. Just stop with that bullshit. First things first, I need to know…are you sure it's mine?"

Now, I was insulted. Cason knew all about Derek and how he'd been the first person I'd slept with since breaking up with Derek six months prior. What a fucking prick to even say such a thing to me. "I'll take a paternity test but as soon as that test reveals you're the father, you have to promise that you will sign away your rights."

"That some backassward logic," he said. "And emotional extortion."

I glared.Cut me some slack, my brain is running on empty.I stubbornly held my ground. "I told you I don't want you or need you in my baby's life. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'mexhausted. I've been on my feet all day and I want to go home."

A secret private part of me wanted him to pull me into his arms and beg me to take him back just so I could tell him no. But I was also relieved when he let me leave.

I'm not entirely sure that if Cason had begged me for his forgiveness, promised to be an amazing father, and made all the promises in the world that my bruised heart wanted to hear, I wouldn't give in.

And I wanted to be strong. It wasn't just about me anymore. It was about me and the baby.

I wanted my baby to have an amazing life, and I didn't see how Cason could possibly be an amazing father when his sole focus was getting into the NFL.

I wasn't begrudging him his dreams, but I had to consider how that might affect the baby.

Not to mention, I wasn't cut out to be an NFL baby mama. I never hoped to land an athlete like some girls, and I didn't have the first clue as to what football was about, so I wasn't a good fit for him anyway. All in all, even if it hurt, this was the right choice.

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