Page 1 of Draft Pick

“I can’t believeyou talked me into this,” I said to my best friend, Darby, the loud warbling from the drunken patron instantly pulling my attention and curving my lips in a reluctant smile.

Even if my dress was squeezing my will to live and shoving my boobs nearly under my chin, karaoke bars were my weakness, and Darby knew it.

Damn her for knowing me too well.

For six months, I’d spent too much time locked away from society, parked on my sofa in the forgiving stretch of yoga pants while power munching bowls of butter-soaked popcorn.

And Darby had decided enough was enough.

“You need this,” Darby insisted, setting down two tequila shots and gesturing for me to follow her lead as she licked the salt, sucked the lemon, and then downed the liquor. She squinted and gasped, “Your turn,” I knew there was no getting out of Operation Drag Starlie Back To The Living, so I might as well bootstrap it up.

The burn of tequila screwed my face into a grimace as I flapped my hands like a bird trying to take flight, but I got it all down in one fell swoop, successfully maintaining my party cred.

Girls’ night out was Darby’s idea — and participation was mandatory — because it was criminal for a 21-year-old college student to live like an 80-year-old woman just because she let a medium-ugly guy break her heart. Her words, not mine. Derek might not have been a ’10,’ but he hadn’t been a ‘2’ either.

“See? Troubles are already drifting away,” Darby said with an airy smile, motioning for another round. “Tequila understands, tequila listens — and best of all, tequila doesn’t judge.”

I laughed ruefully, my throat still burning from the booze. Darby was a force of nature — like a tornado or a hurricane — but she always had my back, and I loved her for it, even if the last thing I’d wanted to do was party tonight.

“A few more of these and you’ll be like, ‘Derek who?’ and that’s exactly what needs to happen,” Darby said, adding with a sudden grimace, “Remind me again what you saw in him?”

“Um, well, he was sweet?—“

“No.”

“Funny—”

“Not even a little bit,” she deadpanned.

“Okay, I know you didn’t like him but I thought he was?—”

“Shh, shhh, the man was a loser and he didn’t deserve a single taste of the juicy peach that you are. He cheated on you multiple times, talked you into putting that ridiculous gaming station on your credit card and never paid you back, and then left you on the lease knowing full well you couldn’t afford the rent on your own. What we aren’t doing tonight is rewriting history, got it?”

“Got it.” I winced. All true. However, something good came out of it all. “Danielle is the best roommate I’ve ever had and that includes Derek.”

“Yeah, because she pays her half of the rent, she’s never around, and she doesn’t cheat on you every time your back is turned,” Darby quipped.

Double ouch, but I couldn’t argue. Nothing like having my self-esteem splayed out on the slab for everyone to see.

“I know you think I’m not over Derek and that’s why I’ve been keeping to myself but that’s not it. Now that the fog’s cleared, I’m embarrassed to see how much I let him get away with. I mean, it’s mortifying.”

Darby’s expression softened. “Look honey, we’ve all made questionable dating choices but when the Universe cleans house, we say thank you and count the experience on our karmic journey as lessons paid. And good God, was he a lesson.” She sighed with regretful distaste. “I really wished you would’ve listened to me when I said, ‘hell no’ the minute he started sniffing around.”

“Eww. We’re not dogs.”

“Correction — he isabsolutelya dog and it’s a miracle he didn’t give you fleas.”

“Narrowly dodged a bullet there,” I said, thinking of all the times I went to the free campus clinic for an STD test because my boyfriend couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.

“Damn right about that,” Darby agreed.

I guess if I was being honest, Derek hadn’t been all that cute. Not my usual type, for sure, but that’d been part of the allure. He’d been the nerdy guy — and he’d swept me off my feet with big promises and eyes full of stardust when he looked at me.

Until I realized it’d all been an act. Thanks to Derek, I learned a new term: love-bombing, a favorite manipulation tactic narcissists use.Thanks for the education — and the emotional damage – bro.

“Well, as my grandmother would say, ‘Good riddance to bad bullshit, or something like that. You get the point.”

“Your grandma seems like a badass.”

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