Page 70 of Draft Pick

"No, I gotta get this out. The 'why' of it matters."

The least I could do was listen, but I was apprehensive about his explanation. The thing was, the hormones responsible for helping create a healthy baby girl were also turning me into an emotional mess. I cried at the drop of a hat, and I was afraid that I might sob like a pinched child if my feelings got accidentally hurt.

"Okay," I said, preparing myself mentally. "Go for it."

"The truth of it is…I was trying to protect you from the bullshit that will most definitely come your way from my parents that you don't deserve and I thought if you were my wife, there's nothing they could say or do but welcome you into the family."

I blinked. "You wanted to force me onto your family?"That's not a nice feeling."I'm not sure your explanation makes me feel any better."

"No, I mean, not exactly but kinda?"

He looked miserable. Again. This was pointless. I had to let him off the hook to get off this merry-go-round.

"Cason, you don't need to protect me. Honestly, we both knew this wasn't going to work. Our worlds are orbiting different solar systems. I don't know anything about football, and if I were to be more than just your baby mama, I should. I feel you deserve someone who at least speaks your language.

"I love that you don't care about football," he said, shocking me. "I'm surrounded by football talk, strategy and future career moves, it's a breath of fresh air that you don't have a clue about any of that stuff. It gives me a chance to just beme, which is something I haven't been able to do since I was eleven."

"You've been playing football since you were eleven?"

"Technically, I strapped on my first set of pads at seven but it wasn't until I was eleven that I showed the first real spark of talent that my dad was quick to capitalize on."

"Oh. So you're dad… he's real involved with your football career?"

"More than you can possibly fathom," he answered derisively. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about. My parents aren't like most parents. I mean, they're not abusive or anything but they have certain expectations of me that I've spent my entire life trying to live up to. My dad has been pushing me toward a professional football career since I can remember and my mom, well, she has a specific idea of what my personal life should look like because she's too invested in the opinions of others when it comes to my personal life."

"What do you mean?" I needed clarification.

"It means they certainly didn't pencil in me having a kid before I was properly married and playing pro ball," he answered.

"And I did? I certainly didn't plan to be pregnant my senior year in college," I returned, still not quite getting why Cason would think marrying me was the fix. "This isn't the '50s, it's not like being pregnant out of wedlock is a huge scandal anymore. We don't have to get married to co-parent together. I'm perfectly capable of handling things on my own, and maybe being a weekend father is more your speed considering everything that's happening with your football stuff."

Cason shot me a dark look. "I'm not going to be a weekend father," he said. "My baby girl is going to know that I'm always there for her. No matter what."

The waterworks had returned. That fierce protectiveness ignited my ovaries, and if I hadn't already been knocked up, it would've happened after that show of fatherly determination. I shivered, feeling warm all over. "I'm just saying…you don't have to marry me to be around your daughter."

"That's not the point, Starlie," he said, shaking his head. "I want to be withyou— not just because you're carrying my baby — but because of who you are. I think I fell for you the minute I saw you on that stage but it took a minute for me to realize it. Once I came to my senses, I wasn't confused anymore. I want you, the baby, us — I want it all. And yeah, that means youmighthave to learn a little bit about football but I'm not expecting you to be the football wife, wearing my jersey to every game and smiling for the camera. I want you to stay who you are. The girl I fell in love with."

Love?I swallowed the lump in my throat. Did he say he was in love with me? My deep-seated fear of abandonment rose to choke me. "But you ghosted me," I reminded him, my throat a dusty whisper as I struggled to stay calm. "And if I hadn't gotten pregnant…Cason, don't play with my heart like this, please. I don't have the mental bandwidth to handle an about-face when you change your mind."

But Cason wasn't playing games. "I get that my proposal sucked ass and I promise I'll do better when the time is right but for now, I want to make this official and let the world know that you're my girl."

"Official? As in…"

"As in, we're a thing. A couple. Soon-to-be-parents. All of it."

I was too stunned to speak but found my voice quick enough to ask, "But what about your parents? And your friends…and I don't know, Cason, there are so many variables and it's overwhelming to try and figure out."

"Leave that to me. You focus on the most important job — carrying our Princess Peapod safely, okay?"

Wasn't this exactly the perfect thing to say to your emotional baby mama? But how could I trust that he wouldn't change his mind? Words were easy — actions were hard.

But if I didn't give him a chance and pushed him out of my life because I was afraid of what might happen, wasn't I robbing our daughter of her family?

Being a single mom wasn't the worst thing in the world…but I never asked my mom if she wished she'd made a different choice.

I never asked her enough questions about how things ended with my dad, and she never volunteered the information.

Cason wanted to try to make it work.

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