There’s no leather-clad bikers rummaging about, no constant threat of danger.
Just the steady stream of caffeine-deprived customers and the rhythmic clinking of ceramic mugs.
A tattooed arm reaches across the counter, startling me from my thoughts.
For a split second, I tense, my mind flashing to the clubhouse.
But it's just a hipster with sleeve tattoos, not a member of the Raiders of Valhalla MC.
"Large cold brew, please," he says, oblivious to my momentary panic.
As I ring up his order, I wonder if I'll ever truly feel at ease again.
Will there always be a part of me looking over my shoulder, waiting for the other shoe to drop?
Nausea hits me like a freight train, sudden and violent.
I barely make it to the employee bathroom before emptying the contents of my stomach into the toilet.
My hands shake as I grip the cold porcelain, my body heaving even after there's nothing left to bring up.
Jess, one of my coworkers, calls through the door."Meghan? You okay in there?"
I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand, my throat burning. "Yeah, I'm?—"
Another wave of nausea cuts me off, and I retch again.
The door creaks open, and Jess's concerned face appears. "Jesus, girl. You look like hell."
"Thanks," I croak, attempting a weak smile.
She hands me a damp paper towel. "Look, why don't you go see a doctor? This isn't the first time you've been sick this week."
I press the cool towel to my forehead, closing my eyes. "I'm fine, really. It's probably just a bug."
Jess crosses her arms, giving me a look that brooks no argument. "Meghan, go to the clinic. I'll cover for you. Come back when you're feeling better, okay?"
I nod, too exhausted to argue.
As I gather my things, my mind races.
What if it's not just a bug?
What if it's something more... permanent?
Twenty minutes later, I'm sitting in a sterile exam room at the local clinic, my legs swinging nervously off the edge of the paper-covered table.
The doctor, a kind-faced woman in her fifties, enters with a clipboard.
"Okay, Meghan," she says, smiling. "We're going to run a few tests. Nothing to worry about, just standard procedure."
I nod, my throat tight. "Okay."
Soon enough my blood’s drawn, a urine sample given, and they’ve taken my temperature.
Each test feels like another nail in a coffin I'm not sure I want to open.
When the doctor returns, her face is unreadable. "Well, Meghan, I think I know why you've been feeling under the weather."