Page 44 of Shake the Habit

“You cover your face when you smile and laugh. When you get mad, you do it, too. Why?”

“Habit. What else do I need here?” he asked me, and we did another walk-through. I kept myself from kicking his heels but I was very close, and I was very glad when we stepped off the creaking porch and climbed into the truck.

Neither Sir nor Aunt Paula wanted to be disturbed when we returned to my parents’ house. “I was comfortable,” she grumbled.

“You’ll be better in your own bed.”

She held up her index finger. “You may be right, but don’t patronize me, young lady.”

“Yes, ma’am,” I answered promptly and behind her, my mother rolled her eyes. We got them loaded up, the dog into the truck and my aunt into the car with its extremely gentle ride.

“So he’s coming to stay?” she asked, looking at the headlights in our rearview.

“Caleb’s having some maintenance problems at the farm. We brought his bed so that he could have one of the guest rooms,” I said, speaking slowly so that she would get the information correct. It was important that she had it right, since she’d share it with everyone else.

“That’s plain dumb.”

“What?” l glanced over, confused.

“If I had him in my house, I’d have him in my bed, not some guest room.”

“Aunt Paula, would you really?”

“What are you waiting for?” she asked me. “You haven’t had a problem attracting men in the past.”

“They didn’t have a problem dropping me afterwards, either,” I reminded her. “Caleb’s not like my other boyfriends.”

“In the dark, they’re all the same.”

“Aunt Paula!”

“Do as you please,” she sniped crankily. “My back hurts from that recliner.”

Maybe it wasn’t as comfortable as she’d previously mentioned. “I’m sorry. This car has seat heaters and that might help.” We messed with buttons and knobs until she said it did feel better.

“I used to watch you with your boyfriends and worry,” she mentioned after a while.

She didn’t know the half of it, either. “I guess the ones I brought around weren’t so great.” I remembered how my parents had insisted on meeting one of them, and I’d forced him to attend church with me. It had been a big error. He’d gotten a call during the service and his ringtone had been a raunchy song with words that were not church- or parent-appropriate. He did get up and leave before he’d started talking, but when we all went to the parking lot? He hadn’t been there to give me the ride I needed, because he’d left for real. My relatives hadn’t been impressed, but I’d gotten a lift with the son of other parishioners. The two of us had gone to a bar and I’d had a beer with some shots as chasers, and I’d stopped being concerned about the ringtone or my former boyfriend’s disappearance.

“I was embarrassed for you,” Aunt Paula continued.

“Well, it may make you happy to know that I’m embarrassed about it now, too,” I shot back. “I’m sorry that I brought any of them home to meet y’all.”

“I knew you should have had better, but you never seemed to know it yourself,” she said. “Silly girl.”

She was in such a mood that I didn’t want to engage in more conversation, and she dozed again as we drove to the Brow Road where she lived. I helped her out of the car, somewhat begrudgingly, and walked her to her door.

“Well, I’m sorry,” she announced as she opened it. “I got my dander up and I’m sorry.”

“That’s ok. I do appreciate that you worry about me,” I answered.

She walked inside but then turned around. “I’ve liked my life.”

I took a step backwards. “Please don’t start talking about how you’re going to die, not today. It’s my birthday.”

“That’s why I’m telling you,” she snapped. “I’ve liked my life and I didn’t want a husband or children. I thought about it, but I don’t even want a little dog.”

“Ok,” I said, and retreated another step away.

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