Page 35 of The Progressions

“I’m glad he’s all right,” he said, and so was I. “I remember when you were born. I’ve never been so scared or so happy.”

“That was how I felt yesterday, too. I didn’t do anything but hold her hand and encourage her, but afterwards, I was also so tired that I could have dropped down onto the floor.” I drove in silence, remembering, before I said, “I hope they’re doing better.”

Thankfully, Iva was better and so was her baby—but yes, he was still as tiny and helpless as the day before and no, she hadn’t named him yet.

“I need to discuss it with his father,” she said, her palm resting on her son’s tummy. “We hadn’t totally nailed down our top choice. I’m sure that Dominic will want to be involved.”

I glanced at my dad, and he didn’t appear sure of that at all. I felt even less so.

“For right now, he’ll have my last name,” she continued. “Baby Balderston.” She nodded and now my father and I exchanged a look.

“Dominic hasn’t answered me. Has he gotten back to you yet?” I asked, but she only shrugged. No. My dad and I exchanged another look and I could tell that he was getting angry. I was already there, myself.

But we got to hold the baby and we worked through some of her worries, like her house being a mess (I would clean it) and how she would get her car (I would drive her home when she was discharged). Iva would be able to leave soon, but her little son would have to stay and then she had questions about whether the day care she’d arranged could accommodate any medical needs he might have. She wasn’t sure if he should even go there at all because he could be exposed to so many germs—she had always been worried about those and now, with a preterm baby? She had a mental list of concerns that was much longer than the one she’d produced when she’d left the condo complex in my care. I carefully took notes on what she said and told her that we were going to fix every single one of her issues.

“You don’t need to worry about any of this,” I announced, holding up my phone and showing her what I’d typed. “I’m on it,Iva.” She answered she felt totally relieved, which was probably not totally true. I knew that she didn’t want us to go, but I had only taken the morning off and we had to head out. With my dad’s appointments and sometimes having problems, too, I needed to hoard my leave.

“You’re doing a lot,” he noted as I pushed his chair toward the elevator.

“She would do the same for me,” I answered.

“Her boyfriend should be here helping.”

That was absolutely true and I couldn’t argue with it, but I held in my thoughts until we were outside of the earshot of the other people who’d ridden down with us. “I wish…no, I’m happy about the baby because she wanted one so much, but I wish she hadn’t had him with stupid Dominic.” Speaking his name made my mouth feel sour. “He left her when she was on bedrest! It was a good deal for him when she could manage his life so that he could mess around, but as soon as she needed something in return? Whoosh, he was gone. It’s infuriating.” We had arrived at the car, which I’d backed into the spot to hide the damage. “Ready to get in?”

It took a moment to help him into his seat and when I was in mine, he spoke again. “You’ll choose better.”

“What?”

“You’ll choose better for your life. You’ve always made good decisions,” he said. “You’ll pick someone who’s good to you.”

“Sure,” I answered, signaling for the turn out of the hospital.

“Kasia!”

I looked over at him, startled. “What? What’s the matter?”

“You can have these things,” he said, and I could see that he was agitated. “If you want them, you can have them.”

“You mean, something like Iva’s life? Sure,” I repeated, but I tried to sound more optimistic and upbeat. “I can, if I want.” I pulled forward and made the left, but I could feel him watching me.

“What about that man from high school?”

“Daddy, I think you’re talking about the prom, and that was thirty thousand years ago.” I laughed. “We only went together because neither of us had dates, and if you remember, I left early after he saw the girl he really liked and took off with her.” I had been glad to get home because there was no one there to hang out with; after about the fourth grade when kids had become more aware of fashion and coolness, school had gotten rough. In particular, the four years of high school had been abysmally full of suckage. First, I’d had the problems with Cody, and after my dad’s stroke, I’d walked around like I was in a nightmare. I had been exhausted almost all the time, just a mess, and everyone around me had made me feel worse. Most of them hadn’t had any real responsibilities or worries, whereas I’d felt overwhelmed by them.

“What about Tyler?”

“Tyler Hennessy, the Woodsmen player?” I clarified. “Are you suggesting that he and I would somehow be a couple?”

“You’re the prettiest girl in Michigan, and the smartest,” my dad said, as he always did.

“Well, maybe he’ll realize that and fall head over heels in love with me. In the meantime, I have plenty to keep me busy,” I answered. I already knew that I wasn’t heading down Iva’s path. I didn’t have time to take care of anyone else, not a boyfriend, husband, or baby. I needed to finish undergrad and make my way to law school so that my dad and I would have a secure, prosperous future…or maybe not. Maybe I wouldn’t go to law school, anyway. The car accident had shaken me in a few ways. I’d always known that we couldn’t live like this forever, right on the edge of solvency and hoping that nothing would go wrong—

“What was that noise?” he asked me, and he tried to turn to see what had caused the sudden clanging sound that came from the back of the car.

It had been the bumper hitting asphalt because my repair job with the wire had failed. “It’s ok,” I said. “I’m just going to pull over here, though, and take a look. I may be a minute.” I would be at least one or two, because I’d have to stop the lane of traffic to run into the road and retrieve the lost parts from my car. I would do that and wire them back on without getting crap on the mustard dress that I wore. Then I’d take him home, return to work, get groceries, go home again, make dinner, get him settled in bed, and head to Iva’s house to straighten up. Before the game tomorrow, I had another list of things I needed to accomplish…I smiled at him and said that the car was fine, but I would also need to find some money to actually fix it.

Yes, I definitely had enough to keep me busy. There was no room for anything or anyone else, not even if Prince Charming himself came knocking on my door. I’d have to tell him that unless he could do automotive bodywork, I wasn’t interested.

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