Page 74 of Hounded: Ashes to Ashes

“Baby, believe me,” I pleaded. “I know now. I do remember, and it’s beenbetterthan this.” I was insisting now, talking louder as I went and drawing the attention of the customers gathered in front of the freezer counter. “It can be better than this.Ican be better. I can change?—”

“Okay.”

He cut me off while fighting a grimace. His face said what he didn’t. This was all too loud, too public, too painful.

I tugged on his hands, trying to draw him in as he started to pull away.

“Idolove you,” I stammered. Why hadn’t I started with that? “I love you so much, I… I…”

“Okay,” he repeated, then stood.

That was the end of it. Another chance at restitution had come and gone. But this problem was bigger than I realized. It couldn’t be fixed in one night, on one awkward date, and it couldn’t be mended with I love yous. It would take work, and time and, despite being an immortal being, time was something I never had enough of.

I slumped in my seat while Loren took our leftovers to the trash can. I waited, blinking my burning eyes and trying to breathe past the growing pressure in my chest. He walked to the door and waited until I rose and trudged after him, my sneakers squeaking through every step.

It hadn’t always been like this. I was certain of that. But, nipping at the heels of my confidence, was the truth in what Loren said.

Itwasalways a little like this.

For him.

For us.

And I wasn’t sure if it was worse to think it might keep on being this way forever, or that it might stop. That Loren would leave, and I would be alone because, like Travis had learned, things could be replaced but people could not.

I had lost my memories, my identity, and my life a dozen times over, but that man… I looked over at Loren as he held the door for me.

I needed him, and I would give anything to keep him.

Even the drugs?

That was the question.

Would I sacrifice one constant in my life to have the other?

Of course, I would. I would give up the drugs and the high.

I wanted to.

I needed to.

But could I?

I hoped so.

Indy

About a blockinto our return trip to the car, I took Loren’s hand and heaved a sigh of relief when he didn’t stop me.

We didn’t talk, though. I’d lost my appetite for Truth or Dare, and I kept thinking about Travis’s sad life and him asking about my story. It was a long one. A fucking saga. But most people, it seemed, determined the value a journey by its destination. Its end. The happily ever after that might have been impossible for a creature like me.

I didn’t truly have an end. Loren didn’t, either. We just went on and on, forever.

Happily?

I gave Loren’s fingers a squeeze then sidestepped to walk more closely beside him. I wished he would kiss my cheek or put his arm around my waist, but the handholding was already a concession. I could tell from the way he fixed his gaze forward and notably away from me. He might as well have been wearing blinders.

At the next intersection, he stopped. I glanced from the lit walk sign to the idling cars waiting for us to cross. The timer counted down from ten.

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