My knuckles rapped against the wood, and my heart thumped in response, ticking off five seconds before I heard the lock turn over. The door swung inward, and there he was. That leggy, long-haired beauty I’d loved for a hundred years.
His dark eyes lined with tears, and his voice trembled as he whispered, “You aren’t supposed to be here.”
I had to gather my nerve because the sight of Loren crying was enough to take me to my knees. But I needed to stand. To hold him. To be the strong one so he could be weak.
“But you’re glad I am?” I asked.
The moment his chin dipped, I latched onto him. His shuddering sob shook my body, and if I’d had any doubt of my decision, if any part of me could have been talked out of this, that eliminated it. I ran my hand up his back to smooth the waves of his hair, to feel him embrace me with the same care as always. Strong arms pulled me into the apartment, where I realized we were not alone.
Sully, Gunnar, Dottie, and Abigail stood in the living room. They looked as surprised to see me as I was to see them.
“Indy?” Sully crept forward but stopped short of arm’s reach. “How are you back? And why? Is this a good thing?”
“Not for Nero,” I said with all the gusto I could muster. “He wanted a phoenix, and he’s about to get one. Up close and personal.”
My grin faltered when I glanced at Loren. There was something specific in his face. A look I recognized but struggled to place until it was so clear it was like I’d been taken back in time. To my rebirths. Any one of them. Loren was always within reach, wearing the muddled expression he had now. He was glad, yes, but his joy was tempered with a deep sense of knowing. Like he understood what I’d come to do and was bracing himself for it.
I fixed my smile and leaned in to curl a lock of hair behind his ear. “Stella got her groove back,” I bragged. “By Stella, I mean me. And by groove, I mean my phoenix powers.”
My cheer failed to cut the tension in the room or soothe Sully’s worry as she asked, “How?”
I shrugged. “The trip upstairs shocked my system, I think. In a good way.” Bending around Sully, I told the hounds, “Now I can help you guys.”
Abigail and Dottie shared a glance, and Gunnar’s expression brightened. His inner tail was wagging, I just knew it.
“Not gonna use my tears, though.” I flicked my eyes around as though Evander had returned and might hear as I added, “Between us, Heaven kinda sucks.”
Gunnar snickered while I turned toward Loren. I slid my hands down his arms and caught his fingers in mine.
“And, baby?” I told him, “You’re gonna save Whitney.”
Sully gasped while the wrinkles in Loren’s forehead deepened.
“From what?” he asked. Shadows blanketed his face.
“Hell,” I replied. It seemed obvious. “We’re going there. You and me.”
“No.” He bucked back, straining against my grasp. “N-no, never…”
I smiled, then brought his hands to my lips so I could kiss his knuckles.
He trembled in my grasp as he whispered, “Why?”
Turning one of his palms toward my cheek, I pinned it there to steady us both. “You’re gonna rescue Whitney while I blow my supernova load on Nero,” I said. “With him out of the way, the hounds won’t have a master to follow, and with me gone…” Fear caught up with me, chased with a hitch of sadness that reflected in Loren’s eyes. “You’ll all be safe,” I concluded.
“What do you mean gone?” Sully asked, slower to understand or maybe reluctant to accept this change to whatever plan they’d made in my absence. Rather than answer her question, I stayed locked on Loren.
“You came back knowing this?” he asked, barely audible.
I nodded. “Planning it, actually.”
His palm cupped my cheek while his other hand tightened until his knuckles ground against mine. He was anchored to me in every way possible, but he sounded distant as he murmured, “I wanted to save you.”
I stepped into him, wrapping him up and laying my head on his chest. I loved his smoky citrus smell and the sound of his heart thumping, but mostly I didn’t want him to see the tears glittering in my eyes.
“I know, baby,” I told him. “But this is bigger than me. Bigger than us. And if I pull it off, Iknowyou’ll be proud.”
Loren drew a halting breath. “Iamproud, Doll. So proud, and not…” He hugged me harder. “You don’t have to… please…”