Page 36 of Bad Ruck

"And what about your feelings for both of them?" I asked gently. I was well aware the guys struggled to talk about their emotions at times. Especially when those feelings were new.

Atlas turned back to me, brown-gold eyes intense. "I love you," he said. "I love you and I love Jay. I could learn to love Frost too."

My heart melted a little more. "I love you too." I leaned over to press my lips to his. He tasted of coffee, with a hint of salt.

After a few moments, I pulled back and said, "I see why you’d feel that way about both of them too. Frost is sweet and I can totally see myself falling for Jay."

Truthfully, I already had. I was head over heels for all six of them. But things between Jay, Ramsey and I were still growing and I wanted to nurture them, not rush in headlong. In theory, we had plenty of time for that.

"Jay is someone special," Atlas whispered. "Sometimes I think I don't deserve him. I'm not sure I deserve you either, to be frank. Storm isn't wrong when he calls me an asshole. I'm not wrong when I call him one," he added quickly, half-laughing.

I shoved my elbow into him. "You're not an asshole and neither is he. If you didn't deserve me, I wouldn't be here withyou right now. I'm very particular about who I spend time with. And who I fuck."

His body stiffened slightly. He looked like he wanted to ask something, but wasn't sure if he should.

"What is it?" I asked. I gave him my best ‘out with it’ face.

"When you used to work at Flirts," he started tentatively.

"Was I particular about who I fucked?" I asked. "Not really. As long as they paid and didn't want me to do something I didn't want to."

"What was that like?" he asked.

"You've never fucked a stranger?" I asked. He travelled all over the world, playing rugby. He would have had all sorts of people throwing themselves at him. I very much doubted he said no to all of them, or even any of them.

His mouth opened and closed a couple of times before he conceded, "Yeah, a few times. More than a few, I guess."

"It's no different, except I got paid," I said. "It was just sex. You wouldn't think twice about who you tackle, would you?"

"No," he agreed. He glanced away for a couple of moments, then back again. "Did you switch off when it happened? Think about other things?" He gave the impression he was asking for a particular reason.

"Sometimes," I admitted. "But I've never done that with any of you. When we fuck, I'm one hundred percent present. Enjoying every moment of it."

From the relief in his eyes, I'd answered the question he hadn't asked yet. Was I on autopilot when I had sex, after having done it with so many men I'd lost count a long time ago? I understood why he'd think that, but it was never that way with any of the guys. That was fucking, this was making love.

"Thank you," he whispered. "I enjoy every moment with you too. It's different from before. It…means something." He shifteduncomfortably the closer he got to talking about anything too emotional.

"It means everything," I said. "You six are it for me. There'll never be anyone else."

"There'll never be anyone but you, Jay and potentially Frost," he replied.

"So, you won't be getting together with Storm?" I asked teasingly.

He snorted. "Not like that, no. I think we're too alike. We'd kill each other."

"We definitely don't want that," I said with mock-alarm. The fact they were sitting together in the same room and not slinging insults back and forth was enough for now. Hopefully someday they'd actually like each other, but having called a truce, that was a good start.

"Definitely not," he agreed. He kissed me again, his hand sliding down my side and over my belly. "I'll tell you what I want though."

"Yeah, what's that?" I asked.

He responded with a husky laugh. "You. I want you." He tugged up the hem of my shirt and slipped his hand underneath. He kissed my mouth, his tongue sliding over my lips while his thumb traced circles around my bare skin, all the way up to my breasts.

"No bra, I like it." He ran the pad of his thumb over my nipple until it was a hard peak and I was moaning, ready for more.

"You know what would be even better?" he asked. "If you never wear clothes again. You could walk around here naked all day long in nothing but a pair of heels."

"Mmm, I like the sound of that," I said breathlessly. "I will if you will."

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