Page 42 of Bad Ruck

He stopped and turned to me, horrified. "I would never do that. I'd throw myself off the top of Powell Tower before I hurt you."

"But you're worried about it anyway," I said. "That you'll do it without thinking, then realise what you've done."

He hung his head. "I'm scared," he whispered. "I can't lose it around you. Not like that. Right now, all I want to do is push you up against the wall and fuck you like hell, but what if it's more?"

I placed my hands on his cheeks and pulled his face down to mine. "That won't happen," I said firmly. "I know you better than that. You're not going to snap and kill me. Besides, like my brother said, I can take care of myself. And there's five other guys who'd stop you anyway." I jerked my head to where they'd all stood, watching us carefully.

He glanced over to them. "They'd kill me." Rather than looking scared at the idea, he seemed relieved. Content to know while they were around, there were lines he couldn't cross even if he completely lost his mind. They'd be there to hold him back if he couldn't do it himself. Like a safety net under a tightrope walker.

"Probably," I agreed. "But you won't give them a reason to. What happened with India, was one moment. If you want to feel that powerful again, I'm sure my brother can arrange for you and Frost to work with him. You can work through your rage with people who deserve it. You'll find a way to keep it contained. Okay?"

I looked him in the eyes, my gaze firm, waiting for a response. In the back of my mind, I was fully aware regular people didn't have conversations like this. Organising my brother to let my boyfriends kill people just for the fun of it. On the other hand, maybe it was more normal than I realised. In this city at least, it probably was.

"Okay," he whispered. "I want that. I don't want to hurt anyone who's innocent. Not you, not anyone." He shook his head slightly, but he was trembling again, pent-up emotions threatening to overflow.

"I know you don't," I said. "You're a good man, Dallas Gregory. Being a little bit morally grey doesn't change that. It doesn't change how I feel about you. I love you." I pressed my lips to his.

"I love you too." He kissed me back. "You really think I'm a good man? That morally grey bit sounds more accurate." His hazel eyes scanned back and forth, taking in my expression, uncertainty in his gaze.

"I think I speak for all of us when I say morally grey is awesome," Frost remarked.

"Fuck yeah it is," Atlas agreed. "Life is too short to be too much of a goody-goody."

"No one would ever accuse you of being a goody-goody," Storm told him. "Me either, come to think of it. Fuck that. I'd be bored out of my brain in about three seconds flat."

"Me too," Frost agreed.

"Same," Ramsey said.

"It's not so bad," Jay deadpanned.

We all turned to stare at him.

He shrugged, barely containing a smile. "Someone has to be the goody-goody around here. It's none of you, so why can't it be me?"

"Because we know you better than that," Atlas told him. "I do anyway. Love you bro, but you ain't a goody-goody. In fact, I think Team Morally Grey might be appropriate for all of us."

"I'll get onto ordering the jackets," Frost joked. "I know the T-shirt version exists. I've seen them on social media."

"Is it something you want to announce to the world?" I asked.

"Definitely," Frost agreed. "Morally grey and proud of it."

"I don't think the team would like that too much," I said.

He hesitated for a moment, then made a face. "You're right. They wouldn't. Killjoys. Fine, I'll keep my morally grey personality under wraps until I retire. After that, I make no promises."

"Don't worry." Storm wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "We know what you're like. You can be out, loud and proud around us."

Frost leaned against him and grinned. "You guys are the best."

"Hell yeah we are," Storm agreed.

"Let's go home," Dallas said. "If I don't fuck Chelsea soon, my balls are going to explode." He looked pained.

"We don't want that," I said. "That would be messy."

"Yeah." He took my hand and we resumed walking.

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