Page 53 of Operation: Sharp Angel

“Madison is her supervisory and training officer. That’s why she’s at HQ right now.”

“This is such a foreign world to me, what you guys do. But I am so thankful you do it.”

He noticed that her mood became more emotional with that statement. He reached out and caressed her shoulders, taking in the feeling of her soft cotton nightshirt. “I’m glad we’ve been there for you. I’m glad I personally have been there for you.”

Becca gazed into his eyes. His presence was comforting. He was easy to talk to and proved himself to be both caring andintelligent. His touch was soothing as well as something more exciting, something that created a yearning inside of her for more contact. She pushed aside the thoughts in her head that told her to keep her distance from him. Raising on her tiptoes, she pulled herself into him and laid her hands to his cheeks as she pressed her lips to his.

Although surprised by her actions, Tessman immediately returned her soft kiss, matching the gentle nature of it as he wrapped his arms around her. He let his lips linger and didn’t escalate the kiss, didn’t turn it into the fierce response his body urged him to. It lasted far too short for him, and he was left wanting a lot more when she pulled away. He didn’t release her from his hold, though. Still gazing deeply into her eyes, he ran one of his hands slowly and lightly up her arm, over her shoulder, and up her neck until he gently cupped her jaw. Her skin was so soft he yearned to feel over other parts of her body, more intimate parts.

“That was nice,” he said.

She saw the small, boyish smile curve his lips, but it was the desire she saw burning in his eyes that was anything but boyish that made her breath hitch. If offered, Carter Tessman would take her to bed, wanting it with a man-sized appetite that would probably stun her. She appreciated that he hadn’t tried to escalate the kiss, hadn’t let his hands wander, and didn’t look disappointed that she ended the kiss where she had. He was a gentleman, and this was just another way he treated her with respect.

“It was very nice,” she said in a whisper.

His thumb gently caressing her cheek was a distraction. She wanted to tell him so many things. She wanted to explain what that kiss meant and what it didn’t mean. But no words came. Instead, she leaned back in and kissed him again, this time wrapping her arms around his neck and holding on for dear life.

As the kiss deepened and his tongue pressed past her lips, she knew that this was the last thing she should be doing. But it also felt right. She felt like the world was spinning out of control, and this was the only way to stabilize it. Being held in his arms not only felt safe, but she felt energized, and empowered as she’d initiated the physical contact, and she felt wanted, something she needed to be right now. She felt sexy and daring, like a woman who went after what she desired. She’d always been reserved when it came to initiating physical, sexual contact with a man before a relationship was established. She’d never had a one-night stand, not that she planned to tonight. No, she wouldn’t have sex with him tonight.

As his hands kneaded her butt cheeks, pulling her fully against him, she felt his arousal and she wished she were the type of woman who could engage in meaningless sex, but she wasn’t. She pulled away, slowly. His eyes opened, revealing dilated pupils. She felt flushed with excitement.

“I’d like to lie with you tonight and enjoy the feeling of our bodies holding each other, but I’m not inviting you to have sex. Just to be clear,” she said, watching him for a reaction. He looked confused. “I like you, Carter, but I don’t,” she began, stumbling over her words, trying to pick how she wanted to describe who she was and how she felt about sex, how it had to mean something.

He silenced her with his index finger, gently pressing against her lips. “I’d like that, and I promise, I won’t push for more.” He knew she’d been through a lot, and she was emotionally vulnerable. He didn’t want to sleep with her as she later could regret it. It would feel like taking advantage of the situation. Then he removed his finger and pressed another closed mouth kiss to her lips.

His body was buzzing after the kiss, which he cut short, knowing he really wanted her. He drew her by the hand to thebed. She crawled to the middle of it. He sat on the edge and took his boots off. Then, watching her carefully, he removed his wallet, which contained his FBI badge, and his phone and gun, and he sat all three onto the nightstand. Then he pulled the covers over himself and reached up to turn off the light. He rolled into her and wrapped her in an embrace.

A tidal wave of emotions washed over Becca as she lay enveloped by Carter’s body and surrounded by his warmth. For the first time since the murders, she felt at peace, and felt like it was okay not to focus on her grief, to allow herself to feel something else, something good. And it did feel good. She shifted her position and pulled herself more firmly into him, her head resting on his shoulder. His erection pressed into her hip and she let herself imagine what it would feel like to be intimate with him.

“Sleep well, Becca,” he whispered.

“You too, Carter.”

She felt a kiss press to the top of her head. She closed her eyes, knowing she’d get the best night’s sleep she’d had in a very long time.

Papa

Waking up beside Carter was just as nice as going to sleep in his arms. When she opened her eyes, he was seated with his back against the headboard, reading something on his phone, the glow from the screen illuminating his handsome face and a small portion of the room.

“Good morning,” she said, still lying so close to him that their bodies touched.

“Good morning. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“No, not at all. What time is it?” she asked as she stretched.

“Just past seven hundred.” He laid the phone on the nightstand, face-up and still illuminated, and he shuffled his position to lie beside her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in as close as possible to his solid form. Then he brushed his lips across hers and he pressed light, wet kisses over her cheek. When his lips reached her ear, he spoke in whispers, his hot breath blowing over her ear. “I really liked holding you all night.”

A rush of warmth filled Becca, especially her southern region. “Umm,” she cooed from the pleasurable sensations his words, kisses, and warm breath brought. “I liked waking to you here. Thank you for staying.”

“I’d never have snuck out while you were sleeping.” The light from his phone faded out, casting the entire room back into darkness. He pulled away just a bit, reached and turned on the bedside light. Then he wrapped his arms around her again, holding her tightly. “I really like you, Becca. This is personal for me. This, holding you, kissing you, it’s not the job.”

His gaze held hers with a magnetic grip. She couldn’t tear her eyes away. She was glad he’d turned the light on so she could see him when he said that. She reached her hand to his face and caressed his cheek. “I’m not in the right place, emotionally, for a relationship, but I want to be,” she confessed. “And I don’t want to miss out on something that could be great because of it.”

Was that what he was offering her, a relationship? Yeah, he guessed he was. He’d already surmised that she wasn’t a one-night stand kind of girl, so a relationship was the only option. And same as her, he didn’t want to miss out on something that could be great, in his case because he stupidly wouldn’t try a relationship. “I’m patient, Becca. I know you’re in a really bad place right now. I want to hold you, both of us, naked. I want to make love to you, but I won’t do that until you can be all in. Whenever you’re ready, I’ll be here. I’m not going anywhere.”

“You don’t know how much I appreciate that,” she said, so many emotions bubbling up inside of her.

He pressed his lips to hers again. Taking in the amazing sensation of lying with her, holding her, kissing her. This would have to suffice until she was in a better emotional place and ready for more. He understood PTSD, had seen it in so many of his brothers. He recognized it in her. She may have acted as though the incident the other night hadn’t bothered her, but hesaw the difference in her since it happened. That, on top of the murder of her sister’s family, was more than enough to cause a bad case of PTSD.

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