Page 92 of The Bodyguard

Her eyebrows arched.

“And I can’t,” he added, trying to do right by her and his past. “But you need to know that despite this—us—this crazy idea that you need to practice, or however you put it...” He needed to be completely up front with her. She was worth it. “I haven’t been pretending a single damn time.”

Her eyes widened.

“Everything I’ve said. Every kiss and touch. Every single fuckin’ moment with you has been as real as it gets.” He swallowed hard. “And I hate that I can’t be the guy that gets you forever.”

An eternity passed.

The waitress returned with the same question.

“Flat,” Angela answered without emotion, “if that’s all right with you.”

Sawyer didn’t give a single fuck about the water. “Sure.”

The water was poured, and the menu was explained. Sawyer watched Angela, only half hearing the details of the dinner options.

When they were alone again, he offered her a way out. “I ruined the night. We should leave.”

Angela chewed her bottom lip.

“You probably have questions,” he said. “And I can’t answer them. Not now. Later…” He hated how screwed up he was. “Maybe, but I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be.” She smiled, but it didn’t reach her sad, dark eyes. “And I don’t want to leave.”

“You’re sure?”

“Fancy dress and amazing restaurant.” She was trying to act like he hadn’t dropped a bomb, but Sawyer knew her too well. “I’d be crazy to leave.”

“Angela—”

“Don’t.” She held up her hand. “I created this problem between us, and I can fix it.”

Their waitress arrived again, but it wasn’t hard to read their table. She backed away with a promise to give them more time.

“Everything I’ve said and done has been real, too,” Angela admitted. “But I’m not deaf. I heard you and knew this was temporary. If I didn’t absolutely know that, then I would fall in love with you. So I get it.”

The wave of cold water hit Sawyer again. He couldn’t breathe.

Her brow furrowed. “You can’t be mad at me for how either of us would feel if things were different.”

“I’m not mad.” At least, not at anyone but himself.

“We’re friends. We’re going back to the real world soon enough. Everything between us has to return to how it was before, because if not, if I lose any part of what I had with you, it will kill me.”

Disorientation skewed his vision. Burning confusion rang in his ears. Her declaration was exactly what he needed to hear and what he should’ve known was coming, and yet, all Sawyer could think was how in love he was with Angela.

There was no falling to do. It was done. If only he could put his hands on her. If he could remind himself that they could have a physical relationship separate from their partnership, he could be able to make sense of his world.

“Please.” Desperation in her eyes matched the whisper in her plea. “Tell me you understand.” Angela rolled her lips together. “That we’re okay?”

Words wouldn’t convey what he needed to explain. There were so many other forms of communication he required that were unavailable to him at a restaurant. He needed more than to hold her close and make promises. He needed to be with her,in her, promising more than he had the capacity to say.

The waitress interrupted with an expectant, time-is-ticking expression. “Might I suggest the tasting menu?”

Sawyer wanted to send her away.

Angela tore her glance from his and nodded. “That sounds lovely.”

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