Page 42 of Redemption

“Bonjour, mon amie.” Maddy walked in. “Do you have a moment?”

“Sure. I was about to come back downstairs, but I thought everyone left.”

“We came back. I wanted to check on you.”

Part of Victoria’s heart squeezed. She wasn’t upset that Maddy brought up an ugly pain, but an indescribable sensation lodged in her chest that seemed to help her heal, even if it was microscopic. “Thanks.”

“What happened to you, it can fester inside you or you can destroy it.”

The two options were black and white, weren’t they? “Destroying it would be nice.”

“Don’t let anyone tell you how it will fester, and don’t think there’s one way of destruction. It might take annihilation by a thousand tiny blows or one life-changing collision.”

“Okay.” Victoria breathed.

“Maybe a minute, or years… decades of time.” Maddy gestured in such a delicate way that it was unnerving to see the polished woman discuss obliterating internal demons. “It means doing things you’d never do. Everyone—psychiatrists, therapists, family—they will all have their opinions, but the only person to listen to is you. Follow the voice inside.”

Her voice inside said stick with Ryder, that he understood her. He let her talk when she needed to, let her feel safe again. Maybe Maddy had seen how she’d spent her time with him, seen that she wasn’t shrinking away from his touch, that what happened to her hadn’t made her repulsed by men, which Victoria had expected.

“How do you know so much about this?” she finally ventured.

Maddy gave a tight, sad smile. “I told you, you would have your reasons to hate me.”

“And I could give you one of my own…” If she did now, Maddy might trust her more, or Victoria would lose this close advocate. “I had the opportunity to shoot my attacker, and I hate myself for not.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“Lots of reasons.” She pulled in a fortifying breath. “There’s a good chance, at that range, it would’ve been a through-and-through and hit Locke.”

Maddy kept a blank face as she processed the information. “You didn’t take the shot,” she finally said.

“Ryder disarmed me.”

“Non.” Maddy gave her a curt shake of her head, lips firmly pressed into a line. “If you were going to do it, you would have done it.”

“I don’t know.”

“What you feel is regret for not having different circumstances.” She stepped forward, taking Victoria’s hand in hers. “But that pain in your eyes? That torture that you keep going back to? You have no sin to be rebuked for. You made no error for which you must find redemption. No evil of yours led you down a path that the righteous can point to and judge.”

A painful knot formed in Victoria’s throat. “You don’t know my past.”

“I don’t need to. I can see the truth in people.”

She scoffed as she recalled the ridiculous mistakes she’d made following the mayor’s tips, working alone when she was too inexperienced to ignore warnings to partner up, and not fighting hard enough when under attack. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“You’re young, but so is Ryder.”

“You’re not that old either,” Victoria cut in.

“No one on their Delta team isthatold. It’s a new team that needs to stay at Titan for a long time to come. Eventually, the old guard will retire, and this will be Titan, and they will hire up a new ghost team. But that’s not the point. Age is a number. Maturity, intellect, ability: those are the things that matter.”

Those were the things that she and Seven had always said about themselves, and Victoria had noticed that Delta was noticeably younger than those Ryder identified as Titan, even though he’d explained that everyone was Titan Group. She hadn’t asked more.

“Victoria.” Maddy made her name sound beautiful as her accent wrapped around it. “I was the daughter of one of the most influential human traffickers in the world.”

Her thoughts ceased. Everything Victoria understood about the woman before her evaporated into a breath of smoke.

“I saw horrible things, I did horrible things, but I amnota horrible person. It, however, has made me a particular person, and because of life’s experiences, I’ve found needs and desires that only my husband can give me. That was my healing process.” She batted her hand. “Not important. What is important is that you believe me when I tell you to believe you.”

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