Page 31 of Redemption

He put two fingers under her chin, lifting her to face him. “You were dealt a hard blow. But it doesn’t change who you are.”

“It might.” It seemed as though it had. How many times could she question whether she was ruined and broken inside? Too many to count. But the truth was, she hadn’t come up with an answer. She didn’t feel the way she thought she was supposed to. Victoria kept waiting for the panic from Ryder’s touch. That didn’t come. No, what was inside her, curling and growing deep in the pit of her stomach like an ugly cancer, was uncertainty in her talent, her career, who she was, because her job was who she had been.

In her hometown, she’d fought to make a name, to be a single, professional woman who owned a business, who spoke at chamber events, who ran with the boys’ clubs, and triumphed. Now, she was nothing more than a punch line.

“If you want.” He gave her shoulders a light squeeze, rooting her in the moment. “I’ll help you be whatever, whoever, you want to be.”

Her throat tightened. He couldn’t understand all that she had done on her own, but the generous offer—no one had ever made such a gesture before. “Why would you do that?”

Ryder let go of her and turned for the water.

“I wouldn’t have an answer either,” she volunteered after what seemed like an eternity.

His head hung down, slowly shaking before he picked it up and stared. “I’ve never wondered if I made the right decision. But you… I held you and didn’t know if I’d screwed up.”

The air in her lungs escaped before she realized it was gone, and her head spun at his confession. She wanted Ryder to keep going but was suddenly terrified about where the conversation might go.

“I know what I was supposed to do.” His whisper scratched at her memories. “But I don’t know if it wasright.”

“Ivan.” A cold chill ran across her skin as his name made her sick.

“Yeah. Letting you do it. Doing it myself.”

“You wanted to kill him?” She was unaware that had been an option.

“Never in my life had I ever wanted to put a bullet in a person before so badly.” He pulled in a long breath. “That’s saying a lot.”

“Why?” Throat aching, mind spinning, she found her voice was barely audible.

Ryder let long seconds linger before he answered amid the peaceful country night buzz, “I’m a sniper, love. For the good guys, but still. Make no mistakes about who and what I am. I’m a specialist.”

She leaned closer. “What do you mean by that?”

“I’m a contract killer.”

She leaned back, soaking in that knowledge.

“Still want to sit next to me?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Still trust me with your secrets.”

“I do.”

He turned away, and she couldn’t tell if he had anything in his focus. Something splashed by her feet as they dangled over the boardwalk’s edge, and Victoria wanted to say something to let Ryder know that it wasn’t just her secrets she trusted with him. It was her.

He drew in a long breath and let it out. “Have you ever killed someone, love?”

She shook her head.

“Didn’t think so.” He ran his hand into his hair and leaned back, bringing his attention back from wherever he’d been lost. “Even for the best of reasons, taking someone’s life changes a person, and I don’t know that’s the road you needed to go down.”

“I wanted to.” The world didn’t need Ivan Mikhailov breathing its precious air.

“Shooting him while he was unarmed…” Ryder shook his head. “There was a good chance you could’ve hurt one of Titan’s men, and there would’ve been blood splatter at that close of range. The spray.”

“I don’t care about that. Don’t try to protect my delicate feminine sensibilities.”

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