Page 79 of Scotch on the Rocks

I swallowed, fingers locking around the pillow I clutched against my chest. “Why are you apologising?”

“Because I’ve behaved like a massive dick. I shouldn’t have jumped down your throat the other night—”

“You had every right to—”

“No, I didn’t. You and Callum are adults and free to do whatever the hell you like, it just surprised me, and I reacted badly. Just like I did when Alistair called things off.” She took a breath. “You were so mad at him … and I didn’tknow how to be there for you while still loving my brother. I felt like I had to choose. It’s a shitty excuse, I know – I should have been on your side.”

I thought back to the biggest argument we’d ever had. How we’d screamed at each other in her kitchen when she refused to hear a word spoken against him. We didn’t talk for months after that, the longest I’d ever gone without her in my life. And even when we made up – we’d lost the ease I’d always taken for granted.

“He’s your brother.” I’d been hurt, but truthfully never blamed her.Of course she’d pick her family over me.

“He is. But you’re my sister – a sister I chose for myself. He broke your heart and I should have been in your corner … god, I was so naive.” Her voice broke, eyes shining with unshed tears. “I didn’t understand how it feels when the person who promised to love you above all else, activelychoosesto leave. How it completely resets everything you thought you knew about yourself. Y’know, I thought,He’s just a man, she’ll get over it. But it’s not about the man in the end, is it? It’s about who the heartbreak turns you into. The shattered confidence, the whispers and the knowing glances in the village that make you question if everyone else saw it coming and you were just too damn blind to see it. And if they did know, then why the hell didn’t they warn you? The questions you replay over and over:What’s so wrong with me that I couldn’t make him stay? How long until everybody else sees it and leaves too?” I reached for her but she held up a hand, batting away the tears that fell. “All I mean is, I’m really bloody sorry Juniper, I wouldn’t have gotten through those first few months after Mike left without you. Now it’s my turn. Whatever you need while he’s here, it’s yours.”

She was choosing me. That was what she was trying to say.

My own tears welled, so thick I was sure I wouldn’t be able to speak. Scooching closer, I placed my head on her shoulder. We lay in silence for a long moment.

“Shit … I think I’m coming down with something.” The back of my throat had felt scratchy ever since seeing Alistair. Then there was all the bloody crying.

“So … are you like, dating Callum now?”

“No.” The word burst from me but didn’t feel quite right. “Not exactly … we, well … it’s complicated.”

“Ugh.” She groaned. “I need to find new friends who aren’t into my brothers. It’s gross.”

I laughed and she stroked my hair back in a way only a mother could. Then I remembered, “Heather … I think a guy jerked off in these sheets.”

Heather shrieked in horror, and we leapt to our feet, brushing at our clothes as though we’d had front row seats to the semen party. Then we were laughing. So hard I had to swipe away a different set of tears.

Anger was a release. But I’d forgotten that laughter could be one too.

“June! You okay?” Hours later, April’s door swung wide. Her eyes were wide, every freckle standing out on her stark features.

“Can I come in?” I asked but she was already stepping aside, making room for me as I barrelled into the small but homey cottage she and Mal shared. Mal gave me a small nod from his spot on the sofa. He held a book in one hand, the other stroked lazy lines down Dudley’s back.

“I was just about to call you,” she said, following me into the kitchen and picking up a mug. “Mal told me about Alistair, want to talk about it?”

“That isn’t actually why I came.” I shot one nervous lookat Mal then thought,Fuck it, he’s a part this now.“Callum went down on me.”

April spluttered, droplets of coffee staining her shirt. “He what?”

“Bloody hell.”Mal stood, swiping a hand over his jaw. Dudley popped his head up, whining at the sudden lack of stroking taking place. “I can’t know about this. I’m seeing Alistair in an hour.”

April scoffed indignantly. “This has nothing to do with Alistair.”

“I’ll be withbothof them and I’m terrible at keeping secrets. The last time I broke out in hives.”

“All right, enough of this.” I waved a hand as April settled on the sofa and tucked her feet beneath her.

“Was it good? With Callum, I mean,” she said.

“Do you even need to ask? You’ve seen the man.” He had a mouth made for sin.

“Leaving now,” Mal declared, tucking his book beneath his arm and pressing a kiss to April’s forehead.

“It was so good, April,” I moaned, covering my face with my hands the instant the front door closed behind Mal. “Like, the hottest moment of my life, and now I’m fucked.”

“Why?”

---