Page 5 of Scotch on the Rocks

“What are you doing?”

“Ordering those drinks.” I was going to need them.

“Did you bring a coat?” Callum cleared his throat, following me to the bar’s exit. I shook my head.

We’d talked for hours, Callum eventually stepping in to finish my fries without comment when I pushed the bowl away. The conversation never once straying to Alistair, and when we eventually slid from the table, I no longer felt the weight of his presence between us.

Probably the effect of two martinis. The last had tasted extra strong and was subsequently the exact same moment kissing my ex’s brother stopped feeling like a monumental mistake.

He still wore only his white shirt, his suit jacket now gallantly hanging over my shoulders after the bar’s aircon became too much to stand. “Where are you staying?” We paused in the small entry.

“The Grosvenor.”

He stared at me for the longest time, then scrubbed a hand over his jaw and shook his head. “Metoo.”

I sensed his lie, too distracted by the heat pulsating through every limb to mind as I replied, “What a coincidence.”

His head whipped to look at me. “I could … drive you. I only had one drink.” We’d retreated to opposite cornersof the small space, like opponents in a ring, waiting for the other to tap out first. His jaw ticked as he tracked lower, down the line of my neck and pausing at the V of my shirt, half hidden beneath both of our jackets.

When the tension became too much, I broke our stare, dropping my gaze to my feet in time to see him step closer. Not stopping until his dress shoes whispered against my open-toed heels and my back pressed against the exterior door. The long silence pulsed. “Turn me down, Juniper.”

I couldn’t think. Couldn’t speak around my racing heart.

This was so wrong.God, I knew it was half the reason I was getting off on it.

His finger swept down my throat. “We both know where this is going. Tell me …fuck, tell me to step away. Tell me to act like a half-decent brother … tell me to put you in a taxi and not look back.” He was trembling, the words so raw they sounded dragged from his chest. “Juniper. Tell me this is a bad idea. Tell me … tell me I’m not for you.” When I remained silent, he thumbed my chin up until our eyes locked. His expression was caught somewhere between fierce arousal and panic. “You need to be the one to say it. I can’t walk away from you on my own.”

Silence echoed for two thunderous heartbeats, Alistair’s handsome face rising behind my eyelids. His smile the cruellest taunt.

And that voice slipped into my mind like an eel, reminding me that I deserved nothing. Deserved to be lonely.

“Bring the car around.”

Callum

Alistair: Breakfast while you’re in town?

Callum: Raincheck?

Alistair: Understood, brother … have a good night ;)

She’s changed her mind,a vicious voice whispered. I snarled back at it like a challenged wolf, turning onto the busy through road and idling in the loading bay before the bar. If she’d changed her mind that was … fine.For the best.

I’d find a way to get over it. Eventually.

The clock ticked.

Thirty seconds passed.

A minute.

My hands tightened around the wheel. Guilt and hope battling in my chest. I needed to leave. Turn on the ignition and drive and drive until I was no longer swallowing down lungfuls of Juniper’s perfume like I needed to commit it to memory. Imagining kissing those red fucking lips I was obsessed with.

Or … I could accept the fact she’d never truly be mine and grasp onto this one night – this one taste – like a gift and spend the rest of my life picking up the pieces.

The bar’s door opened. My breath caught. Juniper’s lean frame came into view, even taller in those fucking shoes that were hot enough to feed every single fantasy I played out for the next twenty years. Suddenly I was so bloody tired of fighting my feelings. Ever since that day on the train she’d only ever been a single thought away.

When I was with her, I only thought of how I could put distance between us. Hang onto that last remaining scrap of sanity. During the long stretches of time I didn’t see her, I obsessed over all the ways I could force a meeting: a day trip to Skye, a quick text just to check in. Anything that put me on her radar for even a second.

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