Page 22 of Keeping the Score

“Ohhhh, boy.” I pause. “Are you sure you’re the father?”

“Yeah. We’re getting testing done, but when you see her eyes you’ll know.”

I purse my lips and nod slowly. “And where is… Willa now?”

“She had to go home to Fargo to take care of her parents. They were in a bad car accident and they’re both hurt.”

“And she couldn’t take the baby with her?”

Ford makes a face. “She says she needs time to focus on her parents. They’re both in the hospital.”

Do I buy that? I don’t know. “So she dumps the kid on you.”

He winces. “Basically, yeah.”

“Wow.” I pull in a breath and exhale slowly. Then I cover my ears with my hands. “That noise is making me crazy.”

“You and me both.”

I pull my phone out of my bra. “Hold on.” I googlehow to stop a crying babyand study the results. “How about a warm bath?”

“I’d love one.”

I give him a slanted, chiding look. “For the baby, Ford.”

“Yeah, I guess I could try that.” He looks as fearful as I feel.

I read some of the other suggestions. He’s already walking her, patting her back, and making soothing noises. “Oh! Does she have a pacifier?”

“Yeah, but Willa said she doesn’t like it.”

“Did you try?”

“No.”

“Where is it?” I stand.

He points to a bunch of baby paraphernalia on the floor in the corner.

“Whoa. That’s a lot of stuff.” I approach it cautiously.

“I know. This place is a disaster. Jesus.” He hates clutter and mess. “The pacifier’s in the diaper bag.”

I open the pink bag and dig around in it. I produce a clear plastic case with two pacifiers in it. I pick out one and go over to Ford. Matilda’s little face is red and scrunched up. Not a good look. I hesitantly poke the pacifier at her but she doesn’t see it. So I touch it to her lips.

She turns her head away.

Ford takes it from me and continues to try to get it into her mouth but when he does she spits it out. Over and over.

“See?” he says, sounding defeated.

“Damn.”

“Watch your language.”

I burst out laughing. Then I meet his eyes and see he’s serious. “She’s three months old,” I remind him gently.

“Right, right.”

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