Page 68 of Justice For Me

“I don’t want to.”

“I know, babe, but we have to. We are a team, you and me. We’re going to help Malachi help himself. He needs us. Nicholas has had control too damned long. We are taking him back,” she vowed.

“I’m all for that,” he said. “I’m just not into talking about RAD. It…it bothers me, makes me feel weak.” He fingers reached for his right wrist.

“Stop it!” She ordered. “Just stop it. I’m fucking fine with focus. I get it. I understand that you need a reminder to not be bothered by your triggers, but I’m going to get that fucking Let Go removed. Do you understand me? You will not let go!” She hugged him until he started to squirm. “We are all three going to hold on for dear life baby…not let go.”

“But I’m supposed to…”

“We are not letting go,” she repeated. “This isn’t something you’ve conjured up in your head, Justice. This is the real thing, this is love. When you find it, you don’t let go of it.”

Was it real? Could he trust himself? No, not really…but he could trust Megan. “Okay.”

“Good boy. So, I’ve been studying up on RAD. I need to know everything there is to know so that I’ll be prepared. I want to help and I can’t help unless I have the necessary knowledge, so I’ve been studying up…like a good little Mistress.”

“Ha. Ha. I seriously don’t like talking about it.”

“Too bad, babe. It’s kind of like lube, you’ve got to have it or everything is more painful.” She grinned from ear to ear.

“You are such a dorky nerd.” He smiled back. “Okay, Mistress, let’s do this. I’ll try not to get too upset and piss myself.”

“Very funny, smartass,” she slapped the tip of his cock since she couldn’t get to his ass. “Okay, first of all, let’s discuss the symptoms. A person suffering from RAD avoids intimacy, shows compulsive self-reliance, fears closeness in relationships, finds that relationships can be a threat to his control and often believes it isn’t worth the effort, doesn’t idealize a romantic relationship, must adhere to a strict regimen, lacks basic social skills such as talking and…”

Justice was shaking his head, a frown marring his face. “Nah, that isn’t right. That’s inhibited RAD, I have dis-inhibited RAD. Basically, I’m the total opposite of the shit list you just…” He paused, his mind racing wildly. “Oh, shit.” He started shaking his head from side to side. “No. You’re messing with me, aren’t you?”

“I’m not messing with you, Justice. I’ve simply listed the top symptoms for inhibited RAD. Apparently your mind went straight to where my mind went when I started reading up on Reactive Attachment Disorder.”

“Not Malachi, he’s too strong…too perfect,” Justice argued. “We are going down the wrong path and we need to turn around and head back. Now.”

“Of course, babe. I mean, why on earth would I ever think that Malachi might suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder? It isn’t like he was mistreated, unloved, or deprived of a child’s basic need for comfort, caring, and love, what a child needs in order to develop stable attachments with others. No, Nicholas would have never done that. Or, it isn’t like he has almost every single symptom on the inhibited list. Why the fuck ever would I think Malachi might suffer from Reactive Attachment Disorder?”

“There’s no need to be nasty about it,” he said, the frown still firmly in place.

“Still think it makes a person weak? Unlovable? Unworthy?” She kissed his lips. “Or does it just make you love him even more…want to protect him from more pain?”

Chapter 20 Two days had passed, two days of long boring meetings in the war room as they tried to form a plan to destroy Nicholas…two long days of Malachi not having a fucking clue as to how to handle what was happening between the two of them…but still driving so desperately hard to be what he thought Justice needed him to be.

Thoughts of what Megan had told Justice about RAD still ran on a continuous loop inside his brain. It made sense…but then it didn’t make sense. Malachi was too smart, too together, too fucking everything perfect. Yet, it explained a lot of things. It also made him even more determined than ever for them to find a way to destroy Nicholas, remove him from Malachi’s life forever. Things might end up where he wasn’t able to give Malachi everything he wanted or needed from a sub, but he could find a way to fucking give him his freedom from Nicholas. So, he sat in the war room, listening and waiting, wondering how he was going to be a part of the shit show when it started because Malachi had made it damned clear he was never leaving the castle again…ever. Didn’t matter, he was going to find a way to give this gift to Malachi. Yet another positive point could be that Malachi would see that he wasn’t breakable. He still was confused about how he had gone from the biggest pain whore in the world to some pussy that needed to be cuddled at night, instead of being fucked and spanked hard.

He wasn’t kidding and it wasn’t RAD…he didn’t like to cuddle. He liked to fuck. He liked getting his ass stuffed and whipped. He liked having his limits pushed. Hell, he’d settle for fucking vanilla missionary right now.

He half listened to what Malachi, Dante and Dustin were saying and made sure he did a lazy visual sweep of the room every few minutes, but his mind mostly focused on sex. Hah! Focus. Not funny. With a frown, he wondered if the ‘you-can’t-touch-it’ rule regarding his cock was still in place when the man who implemented the rule didn’t touch it either.

Lazy sweep of the room and…well, well, what have we here?

Justice pretended to not notice when Goldilock’s hand had reached into the pile of pictures of intel strewn across the table and slipped a picture into his pocket. Malachi and Dante were arguing over what the plan of action needed to be and he was pretty sure neither of them had any brilliant ideas at the moment. Minutes passed before Jasper finally stood up, excused himself, and walked out of the room like he hadn’t just…well, whatever he’d done. He’d just sat there, wondering what the fuck Jasper was up to and waiting for the moment when he would be able to call him on it. He’d remained seated for a nerve-racking three minutes after Jasper had excused himself before he stood up and intended to make some excuse and go find Goldilocks. His mouth slammed shut when he caught Malachi and Dante staring at him, a strange expression on both their faces.

What the hell had he done now?

“Playroom. Now,” Malachi growled even as he jerked Justice by the arm and forcefully propelled him out of the war room, down the hall, up the stairs…away from everybody else.

At the top of the stairs, Justice dug in his heels and opened his mouth to ask what the hell was going on. Malachi would have nothing to do with that.

Justice found himself slammed, face first, against the wall and Malachi’s rock-hard body pushed immediately against his back, pinning him between both unforgiving and unmovable forces. No sooner had the wind gushed from his lungs and out his mouth, Malachi placed a large hand over his mouth, effectively stopping any argument he might have been about to try.

“Don’t say a word, lover. Not. One. Word.” Malachi whispered in his ear. The voice was low and husky and sent shivers coursing through his body. “We are going to go to the playroom and I’m going to tie you to a bench and fuck every single question and insecurity out of your head. So help me God, if it takes all night and all day, I will fuck it out of you.”

He hauled him away from the wall, but kept his hand over his mouth and his body trapped tightly against his chest. Forcefully, he pushed him down the hall. “I see it now. I see when you’re about to fall…to slip into the fucking darkness that is trying to take you away from us. I should have seen it before. I should have recognized you needed me, but I wasn’t doing my fucking responsibility to you.” He pushed the door open and shoved Justice inside. The door slammed and the locked clicked into place.

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