Page 43 of Saving Noah

Chapter 11

Zach gazed into the mirror and watched as he slid the razor across his chin. He looked the same on the outside but he was damned different on the inside. Noah St. Claire had a way about him that made Zach want to be a different man. Four weeks behind him since Noah had been brought into the hospital. Four weeks of pure fucking heaven. He’d never been so happy in his entire life. It was almost impossible to believe the changes that had taken place, but Zach, looking at himself in the mirror that morning, didn’t have any choice but to admit changes, indeed, had taken place.

He no longer hated the man looking back at him.

Who would’ve imagined that was even possible? For years, he’d tried to become this alter-ego of the Zachary Meadows he’d been during the earlier years of his life. The need to destroy every aspect of the Meadows genepool guiding each and every decision he made in life: where he went to college, his desire to be a doctor, the way he kept everyone at arm’s length, and most of all, the way he refused to open his heart. He wasn’t foolish enough to think those days were completely behind him, but he was, for the first time, willing to admit the walls might be coming down. Hell, he would even go so far as to say if he’d been capable of feeling the emotion of love, falling in love with Noah would’ve been so damned easy.

He frowned as he looked back at the face in the mirror. Hewasn’tcapable of love, though. That was a sad fact he needed to keep reminding himself of. He wasn’t capable of love nor was he worth loving. Thisthingwith Noah had to remain in the friends with benefits category.

Noah. His mental stability and strength grew every single day, surprising Zach and his new doctor. They’d both thought it would have taken much more time before any improvements started manifesting. They’d both been wrong.

No, Noah wasn’t ready to step out into the real world and leave the apartment building, but there’d been what all three of them considered to be giant steps. He spoke to people when they were in the gym or eating in the restaurant off the lobby, smiling and not looking at all scared, nervous, or distant. Almost everyone noticed that change and flocked to be around his lover. Zach didn’t like it one damned bit, but there wasn’t anything he could do to prevent it. Noah wasn’t his. He couldn’t make any promises for their future, so he couldn’t do anything to hold him back.

Didn’t stop it from making him fucking sick to his stomach to watch both men and women flirting shamelessly with Noah. No, didn’t stop it one damned bit.

Noah no longer cringed and clung to the walls to stay as far away as he could from the glass walls of the front of their apartment building. He might not look outside, but he didn’t hide any longer, either. One evening, he’d even allowed Zach to crack the curtains in his bedroom a full six inches. It’d been pitch black outside and Zach could barely even tell the curtains were open, but he knew Noah was very aware of the peek out into the world. He hadn’t enjoyed it, but it hadn’t led to a panic attack.

Once Zach finished shaving, he ambled into his bedroom and slid into the suit he’d chosen to wear for the day, like it was a hard choice. He only had black or gray suits. Boring shit.

He hated suits.

There, he’d admitted it. He probably needed to open his eyes and realize there weren’t a lot of differences between him and Noah. Noah hid his body away from the world. Zach might put his body out there for everyone to see, but he hid everything else.

As he looked at his reflection in the mirror in his bedroom, he frowned. He wasn’t wearing suits anymore. Noah had talked about doing some online shopping for clothes, and Zach vowed he would insist they both take the time to do it very soon. Not tonight, though. He had something special planned for tonight.

He called Connor to make sure everything was still a green light. If his best friend managed to get all the details and tasks taken care of before tonight’s surprise, he would owe Connor for the balance of his life. He held no doubts he asked for a miracle and this particular miracle was more than likely way out of Connor’s comfort zone, but those facts hadn’t kept him from asking.

“Stop harassing me, Zach,” Connor barked into the phone. “I’ve got this. You can count on me. Tonight will be as perfect as I can make it.”

Zach smiled. “I just called to see if you needed me to take care of anything on my end,” he lied. Well, it was a partial lie. He would do any job Connor tossed back in his direction, but he’d called to follow up and make sure Connor wasn’t forgetting anything.

“Liar,” Connor answered with a laugh. “You’re as nervous as a high schooler on prom night. It’s hilarious. I’m enjoying myself immensely.”

“Well, as long as you get some enjoyment out of it, I guess that’s all that matters,” he teased back.

“Yeah, speaking of that,” Connor said nervously. “I wondered if I could woo my date with your scraps.”

The comment surprised Zach. The last he’d heard, Connor was back to his usual hit it and quit it…which didn’t involve dates, just sex. On one hand, he was glad Connor had found someone else to have some fun with, but on the other hand, he was disappointed. “My scraps?” he asked. “I’m not sure you’re going to get lucky on scraps.”

“You know what I mean,” Connor growled.

He knew exactly what Connor meant. There was a really good chance Noah wouldn’t be able to enjoy the rooftop surprise Zach had planned for him. That would be okay. If Noah wasn’t ready, then Noah wasn’t ready. He wasn’t going to push him. “Who’s the lucky guy cashing in on my scraps?”

Pause.

Silence.

Uncomfortable silence.

“Wayne.”

Ahhhh, that made sense. Connor didn’t give up so easily. It wasn’t like him to get mad enough at somebody to toss them out like trash. Zach wasn’t surprised to hear Connor hadn’t given up on the EMT.

“Wayne deserves more than scraps.”

“Yeah…it took some convincing on his end, but I finally know that,” Connor answered slowly. “Okay, enough chit-chat. I’ve got things to do! Just call me the wedding planner.”

Zach’s good mood plummeted. Connor didn’t need to joke about things like that, things that could never be. “That’s not funny, Conn. Shut that shit up.”

---