Page 71 of Saving Noah

Chapter 20

Zach stared at Noah as he slept. Despite the red welts covering the majority of his body from all the damn spider bites, the dark rings beneath his eyes, and the thinness of his face, he still looked blissfully peaceful as he slept. The dehydration and lack of nourishment over the last ninety hours made his cheekbones even more prominent and his long black lashes darker against his pale flesh. His lips might appear just as pouty as Zach remembered, but their normal pretty pink had faded. That, he vowed, would change soon enough. If he had his way, he would spend the rest of his life hand-feeding Noah every single delightful treat his body might be craving at the moment. It wasn’t healthy or the correct way of thinking, but he’d be over-the-moon satisfied with the idea of Noah never wanting to leave the apartment again. It would be easier to keep him safe from all harm right where he was.

That wasn’t fair, though. They couldn’t live the rest of their lives in fear. As much as he wanted it, he couldn’t keep someone as beautiful as Noah hidden away from the rest of the world. Noah deserved to shine, to live his life with the hint of excitement and carefreeness he’d started to exhibit before Dante invaded their happiness. In his letter, Noah had talked about braving the carnival, and Zachary could imagine the sparkle in Noah’s eyes when he’d imagined them on the Ferris wheel, even as he thought he was about to die. They would do that one day—laugh together and then kiss with wild abandon when they were at the top of the carnival ride. As soon as Noah was ready, Zachary would move heaven and earth to see it happen.

Nothing…and no one would ever hold Noah back again.

It was simple enough: Dante Moretti would die and Zachary was more than happy to ensure it happened sooner as opposed to later. As soon as Noah was completely safe and recovering nicely, he would find a way to destroy Moretti for what he’d done. Some folks might laugh at him for thinking he could take out a Las Vegas crime boss. Hell, even the FBI couldn’t locate him, much less arrest him and make him answer for what he’d done to Noah. But those people who might not think him capable didn’t know how he’d grown up. They weren’t aware his father had taught him to shoot a gun before he’d been taught his ABCs and 123s. His father might be considered a vile man by most everyone he encountered, and he’d been the worst father and role model imaginable, but if he’d ever done anything in his life, he’d taught his son how to survive…how to kill.

That part of his life was something Zach had wanted to be able to put behind him, forget all about, and pretend it never happened. He was better thanthat. He was a respectable doctor living in a respectable apartment building, wore respectable clothes, and carried himself in a manner making it unquestionable he fit in with the upper crust of respectable society. When he rolled out of bed, dressed in his tailor-made clothes, and went to his job, nobody could ever look at him and know what he came from. With a life-plan formed when he was barely a teen, Zachary had always known he would walk away from the motorcycle gang his father had ruled with a blazing gun and a sincere shortage of morals.

He hadn’t ever intended to return to that way of life. Walk away and never look back. Shake it off and pretend to be something he wasn’t. That had always been his plan.

But now, he would take all those skills he’d tucked away into the deepest corners of his heart and soul and he’d use them to kill a man…to kill an entire family, if that was what it took. There was no doubting it; doing this, becoming a killer like his father, would destroy a part of him he’d tried so hard to protect, but it would be worth it. Noah’s safety was wortheverything.

“What are you thinking about?” Noah’s weak voice interrupted his dark thoughts.

His heart leaped into his chest as he jumped to his feet and leaned over the bed. Crystal blue eyes were locked onto him, still looking a bit foggy and weak, but locked onto him nonetheless. Noah blinked slowly and offered Zach a weak smile. His hand, covered with red bites, automatically reached for Denala, and Zach could see the happiness settle on Noah’s face when he found her still lying next to him. Once Noah had patted the bed to allow her to join him, she’d only left to see to the puppies, eat, and take care of her personal business. Zach didn’t have the heart to even attempt to keep her out of the bed. His dog and his lover had formed a bond that had ended up saving Noah’s life. The most worthless tracking dog in the history of the training academy where she’d grown up turned out to be the most valuable asset in his life.

Stroking the side of Noah’s face, he answered, “I’m thinking about you, baby. I’m thinking about how much I love you and how I never intend for us to be apart again.”

Noah coughed out a weak laugh. “I hope to hell you weren’t. The look on your face was dark and dangerous. I’d hate to think thoughts of me put it there.” He reached up to touch the hand stroking his cheek. “Thank you for rescuing me, Zach. I hadn’t really held out much hope. I have some firsthand experience on how thoroughly Dante Moretti can cover his tracks so I’d already accepted death. Did you get my note? I wasn’t sure if you’d ever see it, but I hoped you would. I worried about you.”

Zach couldn’t believe what he was hearing.Noah worried about me? “Why me? You were the one he’d left to die slowly. Did you know where you were? Please tell me you knew you were still in your safe zone,” Zach whispered. Noah’s hand touching his made his heart feel perfect. Unable to stop himself, he climbed into the bed and snuggled against Noah, making sure not to dislodge any of his tubes or the leads to his monitors. He needed Noah’s body against his, to feel his heart beating.

“Climb aboard, sailor,” Noah teased in a voice still sounding way too weak for Zach’s peace of mind.

“I love you, Noah,” Zach told him after he’d settled into a comfortable position with Noah’s back resting against his chest and Zach’s arms wrapped possessively around Noah. “I can’t believe I almost lost you without telling you how I really felt. I’d been so selfish…so cowardly. I wanted to say the words, babe. I honestly did, but I was too fucking weak. Not any more, though. I love you.”

Noah snuggled against him and laughed softly. “I know you love me, Zach. I told you in the letter. I didn’t need to hear the words. Your actions were enough to tide me over until you felt comfortable enough to say it out loud. You gave me your heart. I gave you mine. That was enough for me.”

Noah’s heart was so perfect, even with all the damage the Moretti family had inflicted on it. Zach wanted to squeeze him tighter but was afraid he might snap him in two. Noah felt frail in his arms. “That may have been enough, but you deserved more. You deserved to have all of me, and I held some back. It won’t happen again. I promise, babe.”

“I’m tired, Zach. I’m gonna try not to drift off again, but I can’t make any promises. I feel so fucking weak and it pisses me off.” He swiveled his head around to gaze up into Zach’s eyes. “I really want you to fuck me right now, to make me feel alive again, but I suspect that’s out of the question.”

“Definitely out of the question,” Zach answered quickly and then softened it with a kiss to the top of Noah’s head.

“I was afraid you would say that, but you’re gonna have to watch yourself, babe,” Noah warned in a firm voice that was downgraded from angry to just plain sexy by the yawn accompanying it at the end. “We’ve done that wholeyou in protective modeand not giving me thewhat I want and needthing, and it didn’t work out for us. Remember? I know you, know how you like to control and protect. I’m going to try to be lenient with you for a while ’cause you’ve been through a lot, but don’t get comfortable with my generosity. I want to be treated like a man, not a mouse. Got it?” Another yawn, this one bigger than the last.

Zach was so fucking thankful Dante hadn’t succeeded in taking away Noah’s love of life and never-ending sassiness. “Agreed,” he said as he tugged Noah closer to him. “I’ll try to put my big boy panties on and handle you with my usual intensity just as soon as I know you’re back to one hundred percent.”

“Sixty percent,” Noah countered.

Zach rolled his eyes, loving Noah more with each passing second. All he’d been able to think about since seeing Noah looking like a corpse was killing Dante Moretti. He’d imagined every form of torture his mind could conjure up and had even taken a few minutes to research torture methods on the internet. He wanted to hear Moretti cry and beg for mercy. He wanted to see his crimson blood spray the walls in a glorious display of macabre art. More than anything, he wanted to stare into his eyes and watch as the very last of his life essence drained from his body. From the moment Noah had woken, he’d been his usual fun-loving, playful self. Zach didn’t deserve someone like Noah, but he sure as hell wasn’t giving him up.

No secrets.

“I’m going to tell you a story, babe. The short version of my life, and I hope it helps you understand why I’m such a fucking asshole.”

Noah wiggled around until his head rested on Zach’s chest and he was able to look into Zach’s eyes. His blue eyes were weak, making it look like it took every drop of his energy to keep them open. He blinked slowly and then whispered, “I love you, Zachary Meadows. I want to tell you now, before you share your short story, and I’ll tell you again when you’re finished. There isn’t a goddamn thing you can say that is capable of changing how I feel about you.”

“I hope not,” Zach answered quietly. “My father was a bad man…isa bad man,” he corrected. “I grew up in Texas where I spent practically every moment of my life surrounded by every form of immorality one could imagine, and my old man was at the tip-top of the shit pile. He was the president of the mother chapter of a motorcycle gang called the Demons of Riot.” Zach drew in a deep breath. “They were bad, Noah, but they were all I had…all I knew. It sounds weird, but they were my family. I pretty much grew up down at the clubhouse, each member throwing their two cents in on how to raise a baby and turn him into a man. Let’s just say, if you added all their cents in together, you still didn’t come up with a shit’s worth of anything when it came to morals, empathy, or just simply doing what the fuck was right. I knew about loyalty—you never betrayed your brother. They were willing to die for each other, to die for me without a thought or a moment of hesitation.”

Noah’s eyes were still locked with his, watching him closely and holding him even closer. There wasn’t shock or judgment in those blue depths, though. There wasn’t even pity. He was just…there. When Zach looked down into Noah’s eyes, he was looking at the same loyalty he’d witnessed with his motorcycle family, but with Noah, there was also morality, empathy, love, and a hint of innocence.

“They sound a lot like my family but only wrapped with different paper and different bows,” Noah said. “Keep going. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“You never interrupt, babe,” Zach assured him. “So, I grew up with some pretty damned warped views of life. I knew how to load a gun and fire it before I could construct with Legos. I’d watched people having sex, live and right in your face, before I knew Santa Claus wasn’t real. I couldn’t put a number on the times people had been dragged into the club, shuffled into one of the back rooms, and then I’d never see them again. Kids at school feared me. Hell, parents of the kids at school feared me. Through all that shit, though, I loved my dad. He wasn’t a good guy, but he wasmyguy, and I loved him. While I never said it out loud, I knew he hurt people and sold drugs and illegal weapons. I knew this, but kept turning a blind eye because he was my dad.”

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