Page 43 of Sub Mission

“He’s gone, Seth. He wanted to go home, and the director of the agency agreed. He was injured, nothing too serious, but enough to keep him from meeting with Javier.”

Relief washed over me. “Home? So, he’s back at the apartment,” I concluded. “That’s good. Is somebody there with him? Somebody to take care of him until I get back?”

Landon’s eyes shifted nervously. He pushed me through the doors and back outside of the hospital, and answered, “No, Seth. Home. He went back home…back to where he lives. The agency sent a private jet for him over an hour ago. I’ve been taking care of his paperwork. He’s…he’s gone. I’m sorry, Seth. I know this hurts you.” He reached out to touch my shoulder, but I jerked away. “Tell me what I can do,” he pleaded.

I’d known better. What had I thought? That he was falling in love with me? Fuck, no. He was straight. I’d been some fun experiment to satisfy his curiosity.I’d fucking known. Hell, he’d even told me back in that room.We’re finished, he’d said.

I tucked my feelings in the darkest corner of my mind, looked at Landon, and said, “Not a damn thing, Boss. I’m good. We don’t need Baker for this part of it.” I clapped him on the shoulder. “Let’s go tell Mr. Flores what a shitty family he has. It seems like Javier could have mentioned he had an identical twin…that hated him.” I looked at Landon, hoping the pain ripping my heart out wasn’t visible in my gaze and said, “His name was Jericho, right?”

Landon stared at me, not falling for my act for a second. “I’m sorry, Seth. I would have never allowed the Director to send him to us if I’d ever thought it would lead to this. I’m so fucking sorry.”

A black SUV pulled up and I assumed it was there to pick us up, so I started walking toward it. I felt Landon fall in step with me. “Don’t sweat it, Landon. Baker’s straight. It wasn’t like we were going to fall in love, adopt puppies, and remodel a three-story Victorian. I’ll survive. He was a good sub, but there’s plenty more out there.” I opened the door for him and added, “Gay subs for me from now on.”

He climbed into the backseat and I followed. I could do this. My job had been my life for as long as I could remember. Nothing had changed.

Every-fucking-thing had changed,and my life would never be the same again.

*******

Two weeks had passed, and the pain felt as raw today as it had that same moment Landon had told me Baker left me. I functioned, but it was merely robotic. My mind felt scrambled and if anybody had requested more than basic tasks from me, they’d been shit out of luck. Landon had relegated me to desk duty, which would have normally pissed me off to my highest level of pissiness, but I didn’t really give a fuck.

Landon begged me to take some time off, a beach vacation to catch some fun in the sun and drink plenty of booze. Little did he know, I’d never be able to visit a beach again—not after spending time there with Baker. I hadn’t returned to the penthouse we’d shared during our assignment. The pain would have been too much. I’d known there would be traces of Baker everywhere. His smell. His Pop Tarts. The fucking bedsheets stained with his cum.

I slammed my fist down on my desk hard enough to make my cup of coffee tip over and saturate the contents of the latest file Landon tossed on my desk. I didn’t give a shit, it was nothing more than busy work, anyway. Hell, I didn’t even know why they hadn’t already fired me. I would have.

“You gonna clean that up?” Ari asked me.

Poor kid. His desk was next to mine and I honestly pitied the fool. I’d snapped at him at every opportunity and even created some when there was nothing readily available to snap at. I griped when he talked on the phone. Growled when he tapped on the keyboard of his laptop. Cussed when he invited me to lunch and then threw the sandwich away he’d brought to me when I wouldn’t go with him. All in all, I’d been a complete asshole to him.

He was really a nice kid.

“No, Arizona,” I answered. “I don’t think I am.” I leaned back in my chair and dared him to even act like he was going to wipe the coffee up with the handful of paper towels clutched in his left hand. Arizona was cute. If he wasn’t Landon’s son, I would have fucked him six months ago when he’d first started helping out at the agency. Now, after Baker, I no longer felt the urge to even flirt with him, much less fuck him.

Sadly, I hadn’t had the urge…period. As soon as I’d gotten home, I’d visited my favorite club with the intentions of whipping and fucking all images of Baker from my head. I’d left after only fifteen minutes. The thought of being Dom to anyone other than Baker left a bad taste in my mouth.

Ari dropped the paper towels on my desk, shrugged, and said, “Suit yourself. Now your desk can look as sloppy as you do.” He waved his arm up and down in front of me and said, “You’re letting yourself go, Seth. That’s okay up until the point that you get so gross that no hot guys are going to look in this direction at all.” He leaned over my desk, narrowed his eyes at me, and said, “That’s when you start pissing in my pool. If they won’t look over here, they aren’t seeingme.That’s not working for me. Get over yourself. You got dumped. I’ve been dumped at least seven times, and, for your information, I’ve only dated seven guys. You don’t see me whining about it. When was the last fucking time you shaved, anyway?”

I frowned. “Seven guys? You’re only nineteen, Arizona. What the hell? Does your daddy know you’re a manwhore?”

He laughed. “Yes, he warns me all the time that I’m going to be just like Seth Wilkinson if I’m not careful.” He shivered like the thought disgusted him. “Okay, about my seven boyfriends. There was Calvin Patriot in the first grade. He had the sweetest smile and his mother packed the best lunches.” He grinned. “Yes, I might have used him for his awesome lunches, but I figured he may as well learn early on that life was filled with one disappointment after another. I was actually doing him a favor. After that, we had Trevor Monroe.” He fanned himself and said, “Good God, that Trevor had the curliest hair I’d ever seen in my life. Over and over again, I imagined getting my hands tangled in those golden locks. I never touched him, of course, but it was fun to think about it. After that there was….”

I held up my hand and he shut up immediately.

“Sorry, Seth. I just hate seeing you like this. It makes me sad and makes my dad grumpy. I was being silly…hoping to cheer you up.”

Now I felt even shittier. “Sorry, Ari. I’m just in a slump. It’ll pass.” It wouldn’t but there was no point in scaring Ari half to death.

“I hope so. This whole brooding thing isn’t your sexiest look.” He waved his hand up and down in front of me again.

“Thanks,” I mumbled. “You’re making me feel better already.”

“Oh, fuck you,” he countered. “Hey, what’s that stuff?” He maneuvered around my desk to look at something behind me.

I looked over my shoulder and cringed when I saw what had gotten his attention. It was the four boxes of shit belonging to me that the clean—up team had pulled out of the penthouse I’d shared with Baker for only a few days…but the happiest days of my life. “It’s nothing. I need to throw it away, but I haven’t had the energy.”

I turned back to my desk and, contrary to what I’d told Ari, grabbed the paper towels he’d dropped and began wiping up the coffee I’d spilt. I really had meant to throw the boxes away. I didn’t want any memories or mementos of what transpired in Miami. Maybe I’d get lucky and Ari would offer to toss everything for me.

“This is some cool stuff. The Company bought you these clothes? These are fucking nice. It’s a shame you’re humongous or I could steal some of this and call it my own. Give it a good home. Take care of it and show it some love.”

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