Page 37 of Confessions of Pain

Chapter 10

Gabriel

I sat behind the wheel of my rented vehicle, tapping the steering wheel with the tips of my fingers, and waited for Titus to gather up all his shit and finally walk through the doors of Morganston Textiles. As always, Titus was the last to be ready to leave and I felt my nerves tingling beneath my skin. I was furious. Hurt. Desperate.

Excited and aroused.

I needed Kelsey more than I needed the heart thumping inside my chest. I snorted in disgust, realizing that while I might need him…a part of me still hated him. It was a tiny part of me, so small it should be considered insignificant, but it still managed to override all my other emotions. When I wanted to tell him how beautiful he’d turned out to be, I’d say something mean instead. When I wanted to touch him, to see if he could still make my fingertips sizzle and my heart do cartwheels, I found myself insulting him sexually. Every damned time I opened my mouth, something anti-Kelsey would tumble straight out of it.

I couldn’t stop it, no matter how hard I tried.

Fuck,wasI trying? Did I plan on punishing him forever? Ethan was right: I only hurt myself when I allowed my hatred to overwhelm the real me.

I glanced across the parking lot and noticed a Ninja motorbike, instinctively knew it belonged to Kelsey, and the hatred bubbled up again. Hell, maybe I enjoyed hurting myself.

Jax. More hatred sizzled in my blood. Jackson Solomon Jr. It had taken me several minutes to put a name to the face, especially when the body definitely didn’t fit the boy I remembered, but when I had finally realized who Kelsey’s…whateverwas, it had been a punch to my gut. Jax was the old Chief of Police’s son, the very man who’d come to arrest me that night. The irony wasn’t wasted on me. Evie…now that was yet another punch. I remembered Jax’s sibling as Evan, a bit younger than the eldest Solomon, but back when I’d known them, Evie had been a boy.

A very pretty boy, who made an even prettier girl.

Normally, I would be proud to see someone brave enough to take life by the balls and make it your bitch, but since I had to hate Evie, I couldn’t muster up much pride for her ball-grabbing of life. She was all Team Kelsey and that put her in my ‘hate’ category. Jax? He was at the top of the list. I hadn’t missed the familiar way they’d touched or the reference to his leather bracelets being the same as acollar. I didn’t know much about the BDSM world, but I damned well knew what a collar meant. Those bracelets meant Kelsey belonged to Jax—the same Kelsey that I still thought belonged to me.

The urge to kill Jax was too strong for me to ignore. Would I? No. If I hadn’t been willing to go to prison for Kelsey ten years ago, I wouldn’t be willing to go now. Would I kick his muscle-bound body into next month? I sure the fuck would give it my best shot. How dare he touch Kelsey like he had? Push him against the wall and hold him there with all those muscles?

That was my fucking job!

The car door opened and then slammed shut, nearly causing me to scream like a pre-school kid. I’d been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t noticed Titus leave the building, cross the parking lot, or open the door to climb inside. His laptop and satchel were crammed in the small area next to his feet and he was focused on a pile of papers sitting in his lap. When I didn’t start the car right away, he finally glanced up and asked, “Why are we just sitting here? I thought we were meeting your boy-toy, my brother, and Jeremiah back at my house? Are we going to just magically transport ourselves there or are you planning on starting the ignition sometime in the near future?”

Asshole.

The engine roared to life and I pulled out of the parking lot, checking to make sure nobody followed us. I trusted Jax Solomon about as far as I could throw him…which was probably not a couple of inches, if that. “First of all, he isn’t my boy-toy. Secondly, magic and transporting don’t mingle, because one is magical and the other is science.”

“Whatever,” he mumbled. “Just get us there. We have lots of work to do. You’re about to make some money, Gabriel! I told you it would work out!” He rubbed his hands together and did what I assumed was supposed to be his Dr. Evil laugh. “My brilliant plan is working out…just like I knew it would.” His laugh grew even more sinister.

“You realize you sound like a total idiot, right?” I asked as I made a right turn at the red light and headed out of town, still checking to make certain no one was behind us. “Your plan is a total flop and I’m going to be lucky to survive it.” Sending a playful glare in his direction, I scolded, “You’re supposed to be my friend, Titus. Friends don’t let friends waste millions…no matter how badly they want their revenge.”

With a dull look on his face, Titus answered, “Revenge isn’t what you’re after, Gabe. I might not have known all the facts going into this clusterfuck, which is something I’m ashamed of, but I think I’m close to gathering all the pertinent information now. You’re still in love with Kelsey Morganston. He’s in love with you. You’re both knee-deep in a puddle of bullshit, comprised of lies, guilt, anger, young love, and betrayal. Whenever each of you,” he turned and looked at me, arching a brow in the process, “mostly you, can pull your head out of your ass long enough to think straight, maybe you’ll be able to forgive the past and work on a happy future.” He shrugged. “That’s about all I’ve got. Being emotionless and all.”

Okay…so we might have pushed the emotionless point a little too hard, but the guy, as lovable as he was, was still weird. He was also way off base. Kelsey didn’t still love me, andhe had Jax to lean on. He had Jax to tie him up, collar him, and fuck him seven ways to Sunday. I’d never hated a person more in my entire life.

“It’s obviously over between Kels and me,” I muttered. “He’s got Jax now. End of story. That’s about all I’ve got. Having emotions and all.”

“Now who’s being the smartass?” he barked out with a laugh that sounded strange coming from Titus. “You…that’s who. Jax isn’t Kelsey’s boyfriend. Kelsey said so himself.” He waggled his eyebrows in a totally un-Titus way and added, “Jax may be my boyfriend before all this is said, done, and filed away for the history books.”

“Yeah…right,” I said slowly. “I wouldn’t let Ethan hear you saying something like that. You might find yourself locked in your room or shipped back home.”

“Ethan isn’t my boss,” Titus snapped. Then, in an act that shocked me, he turned around, winked, and added, “But I might want Jax to be. If you know what I mean. Wink. Wink. That’s why I was so late coming out of the building. I did some quick research on BDSM—that’s what I think they were involved in, by the way, Jax and your true love.”

Everything in my stomach curdled into rot when Titus said the words out loud…the words I’d been tossing around in my heart and head. My eyes, every time I closed them, saw Jax’s hands on Kelsey. I saw Kelsey’s pale flesh marred with red stains from where a whip or paddle had kissed his skin. I…I saw him look at Jax with that same look he used to bestow on me…the one that belonged only to me.Mine. Always mine.

“If Ethan isn’t your boss, then I am. Stay away from Jax Solomon. I mean it, Titus. The man is nothing but trouble.”

Titus smiled. “Thank you for giving me his last name. You’ve saved me countless minutes of research. I appreciate your effort, my man!”

“I’m telling Ethan,” I snapped, sounding like a five year old.

“Tell Ethan all you want…but if Jax’s mind is on me, then all his attention won’t be focused on Kelsey.” He batted his long lashes at me. “I’m just trying to…what is it you guys say? Oh, yeah, take one for the team.”

Arguing with the idiot was useless. I’d talk to Ethan later. Titus was his problem, not mine.

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