Page 35 of Confessions of Pain

She crossed her arms over her ample chest and planted her feet wide apart. Her stance reminded me of Gabe in many ways. He was just usually angry and she was being protective.

“You haven’t missed a session in fifty-two weeks, Kels. It isn’t time to start now.”

Gabe snorted. “Is that what you kids call it these days? Sessions? Your boyfriend is…weird, Kels. Some of us call it a date.”

“How the hell would you know what to call it?” Titus quipped. “I thought you referred to them as booty calls.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. This conversation is getting ridiculous,” Jeremiah growled. “Enough is enough.” His warm chocolate eyes landed on me. “Are you able to work late tonight or not, Kelsey? The decision is all yours. If you have plans you can’t break, we understand.” He glared in Gabe’s direction. “Allof us will understand.”

“No, I can work. I’ll call Jax and he’ll take care of everything. This contract is too important. There’s absolutely no room for error. With this being our first time as a prime supplier for the military, we’ll be under strict inspection, I’m certain.” Every word I spoke was nothing but the truth, but the main reason I would miss my session tonight was because I couldn’t pass up any extra time spent in Gabe’s presence.What could I say? I was clearly a glutton for punishment.

“Kelsey Morganston! This isn’t a smart move,” Barb reprimanded in a sharp voice that was softened by the love glowing in her eyes. “You know better.”

I frowned. Normally, I loved Barb’s mothering, but not where Gabe was concerned. I knew all my decisions where he was involved were going to be bad…bad…bad. I’d accepted that. I was good with it. Okay, I wasn’tgoodwith it, but I knew I didn’t intend to change anything.

“I’ll make the session up, Barb. It’ll be fine.”

“Jaxwon’t think it’s fine,” she snapped.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Gabriel growled. “Who really cares what his boyfriend thinks? This is business…important business. Kelsey’sboyfriendand thissessionwill just have to wait. If big boy Jax can’t handle a bad case of blue balls, then he’s not the man he pretends to be.” Gabe literally glared in my direction as he spat out the words. It was clear he believed Jax was my boyfriend and he didn’t appear to be in the mood to change his mind about it any time soon. Oh well, he’d find out soon enough.

Probably about the time Jax hit on Titus.

“I’ll handle Jax,” I answered quietly. Sending all sorts of pleading looks in Barb’s direction, I silently pleaded for her to drop it. I turned to Titus and said, “Okay, what do we need to work on first? I can call the yarn supplier, but like I said earlier, I don’t feel very confident about them shipping us product without payment upfront. I’ll do my best to convince them otherwise, but I’m not making any promises.”

Before Titus could answer, Gabe hissed, “No. You aren’t at all good at making promises, are you? Wait,” he quickly corrected. “You make plenty of promises, you just can’t keep any of them, can you?”

I whirled around and countered with, “You don’t do so well with keeping promises yourself, do you, Mr. High-and-Mighty, Do-no-Wrong?” He’d promised me, countless times, he would never leave without me. And then heleft. Without me.He never fucking looked back—never gave me a chance to explain or to apologize.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he hissed in utter outrage. “What promise did I not keep? Tell me! I’m all ears, Kels. Let’s hear it. When did I break a promise to you?”

Nice. He didn’t even remember. “Forget it. Just forget it.” I dismissed him and turned back to Titus. “What do you need me to do, Titus? I’ll help every way I can.”

I felt Gabe grab my upper arm and shock waves of pure undiluted lust shot through my body, with every damned feeling settling in cock and balls. All the years vanished. His touch felt…familiar. Hope fluttered through me. Before I could lean into his touch and humiliate myself by begging for more, Ethan yanked his hand away and said, “Drop it for now, Gabe. We need to focus on work. This military contract is the opportunity that could solve a good deal of Morganston Textiles’ problems and help turn the business around. Let’s put our energy into making sure it does.”

Ethan didn’t like me, I could tell. I wasn’t sure why, but that fact really bothered me. It was weird because I’d learned a long time ago to not care what people thought about you. People tended to put you into the box wheretheythought you fit, instead of where you actually belonged. It used to bother me and I’d try to convince people to see me differently, but I’d eventually given up. There were very few people in the world I truly cared what they thought about me and Ethan shouldn’t be one of them. But he was. All of Gabe’s friends were. I knew why—they belonged to Gabe. I used to belong to Gabe too, and Iwantedto again.

Jeremiah stepped up and positioned his body between mine and the Gabe and Ethan tidal wave. “I was thinking…just in case Team Jax and his badass sidekick decided to come back and stir up trouble for Kelsey, maybe we should take the work home with us? Nobody knows where we are staying, so there wouldn’t be a possibility of interruptions.” He turned around and smiled softly at me…maybe to take the bite out of his next words. “I’m certain Kelsey won’t mind turning his phone over to one of us, preferably me, to make sure our whereabouts remain unknown.” He grinned and patted Ethan’s ass. “We’ll get tons of work done.”

Panic started to flow through my veins. Jax…Evie…they were my foundation. They kept me focused on my health and wellbeing. They kept me from doing stupid shit when my mind, traitorous bastard it was, whispered I should do stupid shit.

They would be worried about me when I didn’t show up at the house for my ride to the AA meeting I attended every Thursday evening. Add the fact that Gabe was back in my life, and they would be terrified my stability would shatter.

Hell, I was terrified. Stability certainly wasn’t my strong suit.

Alcohol was on the long list of vices I’d leaned on over the years. Alcohol. Drugs. Cutting. Suicide. If it was ugly, I’d done it. Anything to escape the pain of losing Gabe.

Gabe’s held his hand, large and strong, out in front of him. “Give me your phone, Kels. There’s no way I trust you to do the right thing. I want the phone in my hand right now.”

I felt my teeth nibbling at my bottom lip, so I forced myself to put my teeth right back in my mouth, where they belonged. There’d been a time when that disgusting habit led to constant sores being on my lips. I wasn’t going back to being that person.

“I…uh…I need to at least let Jax know I’ll miss my session tonight,” I stuttered quietly. “Can I call him or send a text?”

“Nope.” Gabe’s eyes glittered with a challenge.

I pulled the cheap company phone out of my pocket and handed it to him. I turned to Barb and asked, “Can you please send a text to Jax and let him know I won’t make my meeting tonight, but I promise I’ll make it up. Tell him not to worry about me. If there was a problem, I’d let him know.”

“Would you, Kelsey? Would you let him know?” she asked.

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