Page 17 of Confessions of Pain

“Nope,” he popped. “You were a total jackass and you need to pay for it, one way or another.”

He was right. I knew he was right.Heknew he was right. I was already planning on swallowing my taste for revenge long enough to apologize to Kelsey today. Couldn’t they just give me a break about it? Instead of trying to defend myself, since there was no defense, I said, “Jackass? Who even says that anymore?”

“I’m bringing it back, baby. I’m bringing it back.” He clapped me on the back. “Now, show me my luxury office. There needs to be some benefits to working this job.” He looked me up and down with one of his cocky smiles, “‘Cause the pay ain’t worth shit.”

I smirked and countered, “What do you mean? You get to look at my ass every day, that should be payment enough.” Inwardly, I was thanking the good Lord above for bringing these men into my life. I had no clue where I would be without them, but I was damned sure I would be lost, wallowing in my own hatred and loneliness.

Ethen responded by flipping me off as he and Jeremiah disappeared into the first office Barb stopped in front of. Titus took the office across the hall from them, and I followed Barb down the hall to what I presumed had been Wayne’s office. I didn’t look forward to my next discussion with good ole Barb. Part of that trepidation was from the pounding headache I was already sporting and the other part, the biggest part, was because of the way she looked at me.

Disgust. Pure, undiluted disgust. She must know me. Where I came from. What they accused me of doing.

She shoved a door open and motioned for me to go in. Under her breath, I heard her say, “Wayne Jr.” Perfect. Surely she didn’t think I was anything like those assholes? I thought of yesterday’s encounter. Hell, I had acted just like those assholes.

When she turned to leave, I said, “Stay, Barb. I’m going to need your help with some things this morning.”

“Of course, you are,” she said between gritted teeth but she obediently followed me into the office.

The security team had packed up all of Wayne’s personal belongings, but they hadn’t been able to pack up his obnoxious scent. The air in the office smelled like stale cologne…and sex. Nice. Poor Courtney. I would need candles, I thought as I looked around the small office. My nose tingled. Hell, I needed to just rip everything out and replace it. Maybe that would help erase all memories of Wayne Morganston. Frowning, I wondered if that could ever happen. Could I ever be cured of the Morganston curse? Would they forever haunt and torment me?

One of them sure the hell would—Kelsey. I wasn’t going to lie to myself anymore, it was futile since I seemed to know me better than everybody else and I wasn’t buying the bullshit I was trying to sell to the rest of the world. I still cared about him. Hell, part of me still loved him, even after everything he’d done and all the time that had passed. I kept telling myself that it was merely because he was my first love and I hadn’t seen him in a while. Once the new wore off, I’d be able to see him for what he was and walk away.

Forever.

I would walk away forever.

See,thatwas a good solid plan. Buying Morganston Textiles? Not a good solid plan. I sure hoped to shit that Titus could fix my colossal fuck up. We needed to turn this Titanic around, so I could sell it to some poor unsuspecting soul.

“Not what you were expecting, eh, Your Royal Highness,” Barb said with a smirk, interrupting what could have very well been the beginning of a panic attack. I really wanted to show her the door for all these smart-ass remarks, but I knew she thought I deserved them. Hell, I probably did.

Looking around, I had to admit the office was not what I expected Wayne to spend his days in. I’d pictured something much larger, decorated much better, and in my imagination, smelling a hell of a lot better. “No, nothing like what I had pictured.” I turned to look at her and found she was still glaring at me with hate-filled eyes. “Why is that?” I asked. “I know Wayne and the boys. They like nice things. This,” I gestured to the office, “isn’t exactly what one could call nice.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and asked, “What would you call it, Your Highness?”

“Stop calling me that,” I snapped, but there was no anger in my voice. I’d earned all the ridiculous titles they were labeling me with and I would have to spend some time earning nicer ones. “My name is Gabriel, and I would call this office one step above being homeless.”

Her eyes roamed up and down my expensive suit. “Right, you would know a lot about how it is to be homeless, wouldn’t you? Dressed up in your expensive suit that probably costs more than one of our employee’s monthly salary. Forgive me if I don’t agree with you. I’m sure it won’t be the last thing we disagree on.”

I had turned to study a crack in the wall the very second she made the homeless comment—certain she knew about my past and what happened to lead up to me being homeless. Her follow-up remark about the expensive suit allowed me to breathe a sigh of relief. Thank the fuck she was just cutting on me again.

“Yes, well, I’m still surprised Wayne spent any time in this office. It’s not important, of course. Just surprising.” I turned back around to face her, my face free of the humiliation that had been there when I’d thought she’d known about me. “I assume everyone’s offices are in the same disarray?”

She snorted. “Most of us just have desks and they were brought over on the Mayflower. It doesn’t matter, though. The company is struggling. We are all good with pinching pennies.” Her eyes narrowed at me. “I’m sure, however, that you aren’t. Shall I order you some new furniture, Your Highness?”

“You know I should fire you for your comments and name-calling, right?” I asked in exasperation. What had happened to the kind old woman I’d felt sorry for yesterday?

“I’m counting on it,” she snapped back. “I’m old enough to retire, son. I don’t have to take your shit. I stayed around to look after Courtney, Kelsey, and the rest of the Morganston employees when Wayne was running this company. I won’t do it with you. Kelsey’s gone and Courtney will find another job easy enough. The rest of our employees? That will be on you, young man. All on you. Most of these people will lose everything they own and it will be because of you. If you can live with that, then I guess I’ll have to, as well.” Her back straightened. “Now, is there anything else? I’m going to clean out my desk.”

My day continued to get better and better….

“I don’t want you to leave, Barb. The company needs you and I need you.” Taking a deep breath, I said, “I don’t know how much you know about me but whatever it is, I’d like you to set it aside and let’s try to make this work. I made a mistake, took something that didn’t belong to me for all the wrong reasons. Now I need to fix my fuck-up and I can’t do it if all the key people bail on me.”

She looked totally bored with my heartfelt confession. Totally bored and in her head, she already had most of her desk emptied out, and she was flipping me the bird. “Give me one month, Barb. Just one month to prove I’m not the asshole I’ve been acting like. Titus is brilliant; he’ll be able to turn this company around and make it successful for the employees and the community. Give us a chance,” I pleaded, not even sure why I wanted her to stay so badly. Maybe it was because I knew instinctively her role was a valuable one to the company.

Maybe it was because after Ethan pointed it out to me, I realized Barb was the only person that acted like she gave a flying fuck about what happened to Kelsey.

“You fired the only person capable of saving Morganston Textiles, dumbass. He was the only one that ever fought for the employees or tried to get new business in here. He negotiated with vendors to get yarn in here when all the suppliers in the industry threatened to cut us off because of Wayne’s stupidity. He made out the production schedule, bought the supplies, fixed the machines, and swept the floor if it needed sweeping. He was even working on getting us some military con—”

She shook her head, like she just suddenly realized what she was saying, and then her lips clamped together. “Forget it. It’s your business now. Run it the way you want to, but just plan on running it without most of the employees. When they hear you fired Kelsey, they will be out the doors so fast that you won’t even see them moving until they’re gone.” Her back straightened and she gave me a look that I probablyshouldhave gotten many times from my own mother,ifshe’d cared anything about me, and said, “When they hear that you did something in that conference room that made him cry, they’ll probably kill you and feed your remains to Mr. Wimberly’s hogs.”

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