Page 42 of Confessions of Pain

Chapter 11

I knew I shouldn’t. It was one of those things that needed to be left alone but I couldn’t. Thoughts…images of Jax and Kelsey together danced around in my head and I couldn’t get them out. We’d spent the entire night worshipping each other’s bodies, whispering words of love and commitment. We were about to give love another try, and I didn’t want there to be anything between us…especially not those damned bracelets. I knew how I was—how I would eventually only see the soft leather as a connection to another man. At some point, I’d stop seeing Kelsey and only see…whatever the hell they were.

I’d climbed out of bed earlier than should have been possible after what Kelsey and I shared last night, kissed his puffy lips, whispered that I loved him, and sneaked out of the room. I’d found Titus downstairs, already up and making pancakes, and explained to him that I was going to see Jax, to make certain the other man knew whatever he and Kelsey shared was officially over.

Titus, who would have normally shrugged and told me to be careful, turned and gave me a long, hard stare. It lasted long enough to make me want to squirm. Finally, he said, “I take it things went well with you and Kelsey last night?” Before giving me a chance to answer, he added, “Because here you are, up bright and early, ready to fuck it up. Are you trying to set world records at screwing relationships up, Gabe?”

I snorted, but his words bothered me. They hit way too close to home. “What would you know about relationships, little man?”

His eyes narrowed. “Not a damned thing. Still more than you.”

“Just tell the guys where I am. I’ll be back before it’s time to head to the plant. Don’t let Kelsey leave without me.” I paused…the words haunting me. He’d said those words to me so many times and each time I’d promised I wouldn’t.

Titus stepped in front of me. “Do you think this is something Kelsey would want you to do, Gabriel? Think about it like that. Don’t start your new relationship with old deceit. It won’t accomplish anything. Let Kelsey tell you about his relationship,whatever it is, with Jax. That’s only fair.”

It was fair. I understood that. I just couldn’t wait. Kelsey was mine and I wanted everybody to know it, Jax included. No, especially Jax.

“Cover for me, kid. I’ll be back before anybody misses me.”

Without giving him a chance to continue his argument, I moved around him and headed for the door. Inside my rental, I punched in the address I’d gotten off the computer this morning and pointed my vehicle in Jax’s direction. I hadn’t driven long before I realized that apparently life had been good to him. He lived in the nicest part of Trenton Falls. With a huge effort on my part, I punched the jealousy down and kept driving.

Ten minutes later, I pulled into the driveway of a huge mansion. Yeah, things had definitely changed since we were all teenagers. Jax and Evan definitely hadn’t been poor like me, but sheriff’s pay hadn’t led to the family living anywhere above upper middle class. As I climbed out of the car, I wondered what being a successful MMA fighter paid. Was he more successful than me? He certainly lived in a bigger house.

The devil on my shoulder started whispering what a much better fit for Kelsey he was. He had money and wasn’t afraid to flaunt it. Was that what Kelsey wanted? Had he allowed Jax to collar him because of the money? Silently, I prayed it was money and not love…or sex. Fuck, I had it bad.

I couldn’t have taken more than five steps toward the huge front door before it flung open with enough force to send it smashing against the sturdy rock that decorated the three-story Tuscan-style home. Cute. Tuscan style in Trenton Falls. I thought about the town I’d once lived in and the kiddie song of one thing doesn’t belong started playing in my head. This house definitely didn’t belong.

“Where the fuck is he, Maverick?” Jax demanded as he started down the steps toward me. His hands were balled into fists and his face was red with fury. “If you’ve hurt him…so help me Jeezus, I’ll kill you with my bare hands!”

I didn’t doubt it. Or, at least, I didn’t doubt he would try. He might have turned into some famous MMA fighter, but the military had taught me countless ways to kill a man. On top of that, it looked like we were both driven by our love for Kelsey.

As bad as I hated to—because I would have really enjoyed kicking his ass—I raised my hand up to indicate he needed to slow his roll. “Calm your ass down, Jackson. I’m not here to fight.”

Regardless of my words, he didn’t calm his ass down or slow his steamroll until he was inches away from me. With both of us over six feet tall, we stood eye-to-eye and sized one another up. I hated to admit it, but it would be one hell of a fight if I tangled with Jax. I wouldn’t mind the fight but hated that my adversary, AKA object of Kelsey’s affection, was as masculine and testosterone-driven as I was. For a split second, I allowed a vision of Kelsey in Jax’s arms to wave a red flag inside my head and it took every ounce of willpower I had inside me to not go straight for the other man’s jugular.

“Tell me you know where he is,” Jax hissed…but there was a definite sound of fear in his voice. “Just…just tell me he’s safe.”

Why wouldn’t Kelsey be safe? Did he honestly think I would hurt him? Well…yeah, I guess he did. In his mind, he thought I’d raped Kelsey when we were younger.

“He’s safe,” I answered quickly because I wouldn’t want him to make me worry about Kelsey unnecessarily. Jax and I might be polar opposites on every damned thing on Earth, but not when it came to our concern for Kelsey. That fact griped the shit out of me. “Contrary to what this entire county thinks, I would never hurt Kelsey.” Then, puffing out my chest just a tad further than necessary, I added, “He spent the night with me. We’re together again. That’s why I’m here, Jax. You need to back off. Kelsey belongs to me.”

Shit, that sounded barbaric. If I heard anybody else say those words, in the tone I’d used, I’d toss them in the category of stalker.

Jax growled in fury. “Kelsey isn’t an object and doesn’t belong to anybody, you idiot!” His words tumbled out in a snarl. “See, Maverick? It’s stupid-ass comments like that that tells me you are still a total dumbass with an ego the size of a mountain and a brain the size of a mole hill.” He rubbed his hand over his face and I recognized the gesture as one to keep his hands busy so he wouldn’t try to wrap them around my neck. He took a deep breath and asked, “Where is he? I need to talk to him…to make sure he’s okay.”

I snorted. “Sure…talkto him. Is that what you MMA fighters call it these days?” My own hands were balled into fists. There was no doubt about it, I itched to feel my fist connect with his face. “He doesn’t need your drama right now, Jax. He’s made up his mind. It’s me. Don’t be a sore loser.”

“Oh. My. God. Are you serious right now?” Evie’s high-pitched voice interrupted my caveman routine before it could even get off the ground.

I noticed Jax’s body jerk in surprise and was delighted to know I wasn’t the only one she’d snuck up on. My eyes turned in her direction, prepared for battle. The dark rings of worry beneath her eyes stopped me short. Fuck, both brothers…or brother and sister now…were afraid I would hurt Kelsey. My anger for him, for all his lies, tried to simmer to the surface, but I forced it back down. I was finished being mad at Kelsey. I’d promised him last night and this time, I intended to keep my promises to him.

“Listen, Evie,” I started, but she held up her hand before I could get another word out.

“Shut the fuck up, Maverick. I don’t give a fuck how you feel, who you think you own, or if you honestly believe love birds are flying over your head right now. All I need to know is that Kelsey is safe and where he is. It’s not that I don’t trust you…but Idon’ttrust you. I need to see him for myself.”

“Fair enough,” I answered. “When I get home, I’ll tell Kelsey you’ll be coming by the plant for a visit.” I looked at Jax and added, “Just Evie, though. This Neanderthal needs to stay away.” I looked Jax in the eye and said, “If you show up, security will turn you away.”

He burst out laughing right in my fucking face. “What? You’re going to turn security on me because you’re afraid you can’t hang onto your brand spanking new boyfriend? Is that how it works, Maverick? You know, when we were younger, before all the bullshit with Kelsey, I used to admire you. I thought you were not only a badass, but a smart guy that was going to dig his way out of the hell he’d been born in to. Guess you fooled me, didn’t you, little man?” He took a step closer, putting us nose to nose. “As it turns out, you’re nothing more than an insecure little nobody that runs away…or calls security when he doesn’t get his way.” He shook his head from side to side and added, “I have no idea what Kelsey sees in you—then or now. He deserves so much better.”

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