Page 23 of Confessions of Pain

I crossed my arms over my chest and ground my jaws together so hard that I was afraid my teeth would shatter at any given moment.I’ll be fine? Was he serious right now? Hell, had he told everybody that I raped him? Was that why she was afraid to leave us alone?

Her eyes, a chocolate brown, swept in my direction, and I was floored by the amount of hate visible there. Oh yeah, he’d told her his line of bullshit, too. Perfect. Unwilling to back down, because I was the fucking innocent one in the game Kelsey was playing, I met her gaze and dared her to say something to piss me off even more.

“Please,” Kelsey whispered again.

Finally, she pulled her eyes away from mine and looked at Kelsey. Her gaze warmed instantly and a sad smile curved her lips. Placing one of her hands on each side of his face, she whispered, “I love you, Kelsey. Jax loves you. You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” Her eyes flickered in my direction and she added, “Jax can be here in minutes to take care of this idiot. Actually, he’d love to.”

Who the fuck was Jax?

“I definitely don’t need Jax here. I’m good. Gabriel and I obviously have some things to talk about.” He looked in my direction briefly, but then returned his attention to Evie. “Grab your shower. You’re going to be late for work again if you don’t start moving.”

I didn’t know much, but I knew she was incredibly sad when she said, “Remember, babe. We love you.”

He smiled. “I know. I’m good.”

I watched as she tossed the sheet aside, glared at me with enough hate to make another person wilt, and then disappeared down the hall. I heard her grumbling under her breath and I was pretty sure she called me every curse word she could think of on such short notice. Too bad I didn’t give a fuck about her opinion of me.

“Why are you here, Gabriel?” Kelsey asked. He was still seated on the bed but had moved to the edge, like he wanted to be able to bolt if I threatened him in any way.

I leaned against the doorframe and tried to appear like I didn’t give a fuck about what I’d just walked in on. I hoped, but seriously doubted, he couldn’t see what kind of effect his nearly naked body was having on me. Testosterone, fueled by anger and lust, flowed wildly through my veins, pushing me to push Kelsey.

“I came here to tell you to get your pretty little ass back to work if you really care about the employees like you claimed yesterday, but it looks like something more pressing has come up.” I took a step in his direction and shivers of delight raced through me when I noticed that he tried to scoot away. “It looks like I need to remind you that you like men in your bed instead of women.” Another step. Another scoot.

What the fuck was I doing?

“Evie’s a friend,” he whispered.

His eyes tracked my movements as I drew closer and closer to the edge of the bed. He looked nervous. Excited. Tormented. His breathing hitched when my body bumped his when I settled myself right between his spread legs. Tight boxer briefs did nothing to hide his arousal, proving he wasn’t as immune to me as he’d like me or Evie to believe. He may have tossed me away like yesterday’s trash, but clearly that didn’t mean his body wasn’t still interested in revisiting the landfill. I could have found great pleasure in knowing he still got hard for me, but the sadness in his eyes kept my victory dance tucked away. The smart thing to do was walk away…no, run away from Kelsey and this shit town.

Nobody ever accused me of being smart.

“You sleep with all your friends, Kels?” I snorted out a cold laugh and answered my own question. “Oh, yeah, you do. I forgot. I used to be your friend, didn’t I?”

“Don’t, Gabriel,” he pleaded softly, but made no move to try and put distance between us. If anything, his body was gravitating closer to mine. His pupils were blown wide, and his breathing was ragged and wild.

“Don’t what, Kels? Don’t remind you how good it feels to have a man dominating that body of yours? Don’t remind you of what you threw away with only a few words that you damned well knew weren’t even close to the truth?” My hands reached down and latched onto him behind his knees. With a tight grasp, I lifted his legs off the bed and spread him wide at the same time. Before he could do more than let his eyes widen in surprise, I was settled between those lean thighs, my larger body covering his. “Don’t remind you of what you’ve missed the past ten years?”

He turned his head and looked away from me, but I put my fingers under his chin and brought it right back around. “Just one kiss, angel, for old time’s sake,” I begged.

He blinked and then something changed in his eyes. Seconds ago, he’d looked sad and troubled. Now, he looked wild and desperate. I didn’t have time to consider the implications of the change before his lips crashed against mine. Shocked from his sudden assault, I did nothing to stop or assist his plunder of my mouth. Seconds ticked by as he continued to devour my lips and then his tongue slid inside my mouth and flickered seductively against mine. I lost it, completely lost it at that moment.

All my hate, all my need for revenge, all my heart-wrenching pain disappeared in an instant, and I found myself propelled back in time to a time when there hadn’t been a moat, built from lies and betrayal, around my heart. All was forgotten…and forgiven…the second his tongue slipped inside my mouth. My mind played tricks on me. With very little effort on my part, I had mentally transported us back to the woods that used to be our relationship playground. We were back beneath that the massive oak in the middle of the forest where he’d first kissed me. We were in that hunter’s cabin that was abandoned most of the year where his hands had tentatively touched my cock for the first time, the same cabin where we’d shed all our clothes for the first time and spent the next few hours just exploring one another’s bodies. We were back at the bluff where we’d finally made love to each other…

I ripped my mouth away from his and was standing three feet away from him in the blink of an eye, or the twist of a knife in my back. Waves of pain washed over me when the harsh reality of what had followed our lovemaking session on the bluff came crashing in. The lie that changed my life forever, and had forced me to run for my very life. The lie that had taken me away from everything I knew and turned me into a homeless teenager who had been forced to use sex as a way of survival. The lie that had damned near destroyed my soul.

Just as easily as it had been cast aside, the anger and betrayal returned. I looked into his eyes and then quickly glanced away before I found myself sucked into another web of deceit. My heart, the poor bastard, desperately wanted to believe what IthoughtI saw, hope and love glowing in Kelsey’s blue eyes. How could I be so ridiculously naïve? He only had to spread his legs for me one time and I was ready to throw the past out the window?

Run away. Run away. Run away. Run away. The mantra chanted around in my head in a desperate attempt to convince me to do the right thing…when I really only wanted to do thewrongthing. I wanted to fall back on him and lose myself in the tight muscles and sweet smell that could only belong to Kelsey. I wanted to ravish his body in all the ways I couldn’t when we were younger. I wanted to fuck him so hard that he wouldn’t ever be able to forget me again. More than anything else, though, I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt him as much as he’d hurt me. I wanted to make him feel dirty, and useless, and unworthy…and afraid.

My eyes cut back around to look at him again. He was splayed out on the bed like a sweet sacrifice for my rage. Long, lean legs were still open, inviting me to return to the game we’d played seconds ago. The tight black boxer briefs barely contained his throbbing cock and a wet stain colored the front of them. His bright blue eyes were a shade darker than normal and his breathing was erratic and nervous. Mr. High and Mighty might not want to want me…but his body did. It was clear just how fucking bad he wanted me.

I took a step closer and his eyes closed, but his body stayed wantonly spread for me. He made no move whatsoever to make me think he didn’t want this as badly as I wanted to give it to him. Another step and I saw his breath hitch slightly, a nervous gasp, but he remained completely submissive.

“Open your eyes, Kelsey. You don’t get to pretend it’s somebody else about to fuck you,” I growled.

There was frantic movement behind his closed lids but after only a brief battle, his eyes fluttered open and he bravely met my gaze. He opened his mouth to say something and then quickly slammed it shut again. If he’d fought me with every ounce of his strength when I first touched him, it wouldn’t have surprised me in the least. If anything, I would have understood that reaction so much easier than this internal battle he waged against himself.

“I would never pretend it was anyoneexceptyou, Gabriel,” he whispered softly. “It’s always you.”

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