Page 46 of Better as It

“What did he say?”

“He told me to fight.”

She nods slowly. Then, almost in a whisper, she mutters, “So fight.”

“I will.”

“For him.” I look at her belly. “For you.”

She squeezes my hand. “For us.”

FOURTEEN

DIA

"In the dance of life, move with the grace of a bear and the heart of a warrior." — Unknown

One morningin the middle of the month, I look in the mirror and don’t recognize myself.

Not in a bad way.

I just… see someone new.

Belly round, skin flushed, hair tied up. I look like someone building a life. Someone rebuilding after ruin.

I place my hand over my bump and whisper, “We’re going to be okay.”

And for the first time, I believe it.

My belly isn’t small anymore.

It’s there when I wake up, stretching the hem of Justin’s shirts. It’s there when I brush my teeth, lean over the sink, and see a version of myself I barely recognize in the mirror.

But she’s stronger.

More real.

And when I place my hands over the curve of my stomach and feel a tiny kick thump against my palm, I remember: I’m still here.

We’restill here.

When everything fell apart I still made it through.

Justin walks into the kitchen behind me, shirtless and rumpled, hair sticking up in every direction because it’s starting to grow back thick again. He didn’t lose all his hair, just thinned out a bit. As they phase down treatments, he is getting stronger. He pauses when he sees me.

The way he looks at me, it’s like I’m art. Not fragile. Not broken. Just something worth noticing. A treasure to admire.

“You staring because I’m glowing or because I’m the size of a small sedan?”

“Glowing,” he says, but his eyes drop to my belly, and he smirks. “And maybe the sedan part, too. I like you having all these curves and swells.” He cups my breasts and I feel the heat rush through my body.

I laugh, lean against the counter, and stretch my arms. “This kid is doing somersaults.”

Justin steps behind me, wraps his arms around my waist, and presses his palms gently to my belly.

“Wants to ride already,” he murmurs into my hair.

“God help us.”

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