Page 20 of Nearly Dead

“Think about my offer, Tamara,” Elizabeth calls over her shoulder.

When she’s gone, Costin approaches me slowly, his eyes moving over my face.“What did she tell you?”

“That she can make me human again.”I study his reaction.“Is it true?”

“It’s not a real option.”He sits heavily in the chair Elizabeth vacated.“Blood magic is unpredictable at best.Deadly at worst.”

“That’s not an answer.”

“It’s unlikely.”

“But possible?”

“Possible,” he admits reluctantly.“But Elizabeth’s magic comes at a price.Always.”

“Maybe her price is worth paying.”I look away.“Maybe being human again is worth any cost.What’s the worst that can happen?Death?I turn into a bigger monster than I already am?”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Don’t I?”I meet his gaze.“You made this choice for me.You decided I should live as a monster rather than die human.”

Pain crosses his face.

“You promised me you wouldn’t turn me.”

“I promised your grandfather I would always protect you.”He stands, running a hand through his hair.“I couldn’t lose you, Tamara.Not like that.”

His voice catches on my name, and for a moment, I feel past the rage to the raw pain underneath.He reaches toward me, his fingers stopping just short of touching my face.I feel myself instinctively leaning toward him, my body remembering what my mind wants to forget.I crave the comfort of his touch, the safety I once felt with him.

“So instead you made me like your sister?”The anger rises, hot and sudden.

He flinches as if I’ve struck him.“You’re nothing like Elizabeth.”

“Aren’t I?We’re both monsters now.Both bound to you by blood.”The words pour out, fueled by a bitterness I didn’t know I harbored.Even as I say it I don’t fully believe everything coming out of my mouth.The monster inside me lashes out just to be mean.“That’s the real reason you can’t kill her, isn’t it?Because every time you look at her, you see your failure.”

“Stop.”His voice is barely audible.“I saved your life.”

“You saved my existence,” I correct him.“It’s not the same thing.”

“Tamara—”

“And now when you look at me, what do you see?Another monster connected to your bloodline?Another failure to atone for?”The words don’t sound like my own.They’re not reasonable.

“I see the woman I love,” he whispers.

“The woman?”I repeat.“That woman is gone.”

He turns away, but not before I catch the sheen of red liquid in his eyes.

“Release me,” I say, softer now.

“I keep you restrained because you’re dangerous,” he says.“Because you’re still learning to control your new nature.”

“At least let me sit up.”

He moves to unlock the cuffs on my wrists.I notice he leaves my ankles bound.Still not trusting me completely.Smart.

I rub my wrists, feeling the indentations where the metal bit into my skin.Already the cuts are healing thanks to my vampire blood.Costin watches the wounds close, and I catch a flicker of something like relief in his eyes.Despite everything, something inside him likes what I’ve become.I hate how much that matters to me.“If there’s a chance Elizabeth’s ritual will work, I have to consider it.”

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