Page 56 of Nearly Dead

He puts his forehead against mine, and I feel him tremble.There is something to the moment calling me into my memories.All of his careful control and centuries of power mean nothing.He’s as broken as I am.

“I’ve loved you your entire life.And I will love you for the rest of mine.”His lips don’t move, but I hear his voice echoing from the past.The agony in it breaks my heart.“I can’t watch you die.Not like this.Not when I’ve finally found the one soul in centuries who makes me feel human again.”

How could I have forgotten those words?I had begged him to let me die.The pain had been overwhelming.I feel echoes of it now as I look into his eyes.

“You could never be a monster.”

My heart stutters in my chest.The wolf venom had been taking over.I wasn’t going to survive the transformation.I was too weak from Elizabeth’s spell and losing the amulet.

“I love you,”Costin had whispered as he lifted his wrist to my lips to give me his blood.

I should resist the memory.Should maintain my independence, my anger.Instead, I let myself collapse into him.

“I love you,” I repeat what he said in the memory as I died.The emotions I felt in that moment come back to me.They had been so pure, untainted by the monster I now carry.How could I forget that moment?

Costin pulls me against his chest, his arms encircling me in a hold that’s protective.

“Do you mean it, Tamara?”he whispers.“Only me?”

I can sense he’s trying hard to be possessive, but it goes against his nature.He wants to know if I still have feelings for Paul.

I care for Paul.He’ll always be that fragment of a dream.

“Only you, Costin,” I say.The vulnerability terrifies me.

I should feel embarrassed by this display of weakness, but I don’t.Instead, I feel lighter, as if poison has been drawn from the wound in my heart.

“Thank you,” I murmur against his chest.

“For what?”

“For not trying to fix me again.For just being here.”

His arms tighten fractionally around me.“Always.”

The word hangs between us, weighted with promise.I lift my head to look at him, suddenly very sexually aware of how close we are, of the current of energy flowing between us.But it’s different from the desperate, violent need that has driven us before.It’s deeper, built on more than the sire bond and physical hunger.

I reach up to touch Costin’s face, mirroring his gesture.His skin is cool beneath my fingers, familiar yet strange to my heightened senses.He remains perfectly still, letting me set the pace.

“What happens now?”My voice is barely above a whisper.

“Whatever you want to happen.”

For once, I believe him.The choice is truly mine.I could pull away, maintain the distance between us.Or I could bridge it, on my terms, driven not by supernatural compulsion, but by my own desire.

I choose the latter.

When I kiss him, it’s nothing like our previous encounters.No violence, no struggle for dominance.Just a gentle meeting of lips, a question asked and answered in the same perfect moment.

He responds with equal gentleness, his hand coming up to cradle the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair.The bond sings between us, but beneath it runs something more fundamental, more human despite our supernatural natures.

The kiss deepens slowly, like ice melting into warmth, revealing what was always beneath his frozen surface.My hands slide up his chest to his shoulders, feeling the strength contained in his lean frame.

When we finally break apart, his eyes have shifted, red bleeding into the iris.But there’s control there too, a careful balance between the vampire and the man.

Are you sure?,his eyes seem to ask.

I nod, more certain than I’ve felt about anything since my transformation.

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