Page 55 of Nearly Dead

“And how exactly do we do that?”I can’t keep the skepticism from my voice.

“One moment at a time,” he answers.“Beginning with trust.”

I laugh, the sound brittle.“Trust isn’t exactly in abundance around here.”

“Then we build it.”He shifts slightly closer.“I trust you, Tamara.Now you need to decide if you can trust me.”

The sire bond pulses between us, a living reminder of our unequal connection.But beneath it, I feel something deeper and more genuine.The feeling was there before I turned, in the way he looks at me.

“I want to,” I admit softly.“But I’m afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Of being wrong.Again.”I gesture vaguely at myself.“Look at my track record.I trusted Conrad, and he tried to kill me.I thought I could protect Paul and Diana, and I almost got them killed.I trusted my own judgment about what I wanted, and now I’m this monster.And now I think I can beat centuries of supernatural will and my destiny?”

“You’re not wrong for wanting freedom,” he says firmly.“You’re not wrong for fighting against a destiny others tried to force on you.I have seen enough of your life to realize that fate is just a course we have been put on.All these prophecies, all these things you’ve had to overcome, and look at you.You beat them all.You’re going to beat this.I have never seen a stronger being.”

His words touch something raw inside me.A wound I didn’t know was still bleeding.I look away, blinking back unexpected tears.

“Or more beautiful.”Costin moves closer, slowly, giving me time to object.When I don’t, he reaches out, his cool fingers brushing my cheek.The touch is gentle, respectful, nothing like the possessive grasp I’ve come to expect.

I want so many things in this moment.The wishes fill my heart with hope and dread at the same time.

“I can’t undo what’s happened,” he says quietly.“I can’t change what you’ve become.But I can promise you this, whatever comes next, whatever you decide, I will stand with you.Not as your master or your sire, but as your equal.”

I look into his eyes, searching for the truth.The sire bond hums between us, but it feels less like a leash and more like a connection.A bridge rather than a chain.

“Equal,” I repeat, testing the word.“Is that even possible with this between us?”

I gesture to the invisible thread I feel linking us.

“I believe it is,” he says.“If we choose it to be.”

Choice.Such a simple concept.So much of my life has been dictated by the machinations of beings more powerful than me.The idea that I still have choices feels like a fantasy.

I lean into his touch, making my own choice.His palm cups my face, cool against my skin.I close my eyes, allowing myself this moment of vulnerability.

When I open them again, Costin is watching me with an intensity that steals my breath.Not the predatory hunger I’ve seen before, but something deeper and more honest.The mask of the master vampire has slipped, revealing the man beneath.It’s a man who has waited centuries for something he never thought he’d find.

“Did you mean what you said to me?”he whispers.

“When?”

The mask doesn’t come back.His eyes search mine.“When you were dying, you said that you loved me.That you always have, even when you were trying not to.”

I vaguely remember.

“You haven’t said it since.I don’t blame you.I know you can’t forgive me for what I’ve done to you.”He strokes my cheek, caressing me softly as if he’s scared I’ll pull away.

“I’m still angry about what you did,” I whisper.“Breaking your promise and turning me against my will.”

“I know.”He doesn’t try to defend himself.Doesn’t make excuses.Just accepts my anger as valid.

“But I’m trying to understand it,” I continue.“Trying to see beyond my own pain to what you were feeling in that moment.”

His thumb traces the curve of my lip.“I was selfish, terrified of losing you.I won’t apologize for saving your life, but I am sorry for taking your choice from you.”

The honesty in him breaks something open inside me.For the first time since my transformation, I feel the full weight of what I’ve lost, what I’ve become, what still remains an uncertainty.

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