Page 53 of Nearly Dead

I follow his gaze.“Are you saying I did all of this?”

Costin nods.He’s so refined and composed, like we’re discussing the weather.

I shake my head.I don’t remember.“No, I… Really?”

“From what we can gather, you expended too much energy fighting without properly feeding and went into a rampage.That, Zephronis’ little time travel memory spell, Leviathan’s magic, and the sunlight.Your vampire side has not built a tolerance to daylight.That comes in centuries, not days, and you will never be able to handle more than this.”

Centuries.The word sends a chill through me.No longer a mortal.I’m going to live forever… well, forever or until I’m killed.

And then what?Leviathan gets my marked soul?That means even death won’t free me.

I look to the closed curtains, knowing there is protection on the glass.Someone has thrown an extra blanket over the small stream that had been peeking through.It’s only now I realize we’re in the dark and I can see almost perfectly.

“Did I hurt anyone this time?”I smell for fresh blood and detect a hint of it.I look at his arm, and clarify, “Anyone else?”

“No.You started to, but you showed restraint.You attacked the books instead.”He gives a small laugh as if trying to hide a smile.

“You’re not angry?”

“I’m furious,” he says calmly.“But not at you.At Leviathan.At myself for not being here when he came.”

I take a tentative step toward him, testing both my physical strength and the strange new dynamic between us.“I expected you to be...”

“Controlling?”

“To use the sire bond to keep me in line.”

He tries to hide his emotions from me.“Is that how you see me?As someone who would use that connection to control you?”

I don’t answer immediately.The truth is complicated.He did turn me against my wishes.But if he hadn’t I’d be a prisoner of Leviathan.He has used the sire bond, intentionally or not, to influence me.But I also know he’s been trying to give me freedom within the supernatural constraints that bind us.

Maybe fate is really in charge of my life.

“I don’t know what to expect anymore,” I admit.“Everything keeps changing.”

“Including us.”He takes a step toward me, then stops, as if remembering his commitment to give me space.“I trust you to figure this out, Tamara.Your way.Not mine or your father’s.Not the council’s.Yours.”

The words hit me like a physical force.Trust.Such a simple concept, yet so foreign in my current existence.Everyone wants to contain me, study me, use me, tempt me.No one trusts me.Not even me.

Well, apparently one person does.Costin.

“Why now?”I ask, genuinely curious.“What’s changed?”

A hint of awe creeps into his voice.“You found balance between your natures.You did what no other hybrid has ever done.And…”

I’m not sure how to process his admiration.It feels dangerous, like believing in it might lead to disappointment later.“And?”

“And I…” He hesitates.“I care for you.”

That’s not what he was going to say.I can see it in his eyes.

“What if the balance was temporary?I don’t know if I can do it again.You see what happened afterward.I blacked out.I don’t remember doing any of this.”

“But you did it once.”He takes another careful step closer.“That’s more than anyone thought possible.You’re getting better.”

“Including you?”

He hesitates, then nods.“Including me.”

---